CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS Part 3
~ The associate minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge, Up Yours!"
~ The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.
~ The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet" in the church basement on Friday at 7 pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
~ A new loudspeaker system has been installed in the church. It was given by one of our members in honor of his wife.
~ The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
~ The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
~ Evening massage: 6 p.m.
~ The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
~ The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
~ Thursday at 5:00 pm there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.
~ Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 pm. Please use the back door.
~ Ushers will eat latecomers.
~ The third verse of "Blessed Assurance" will be sung without musical accomplishment.
~ Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
~ Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
~ Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
~ The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
~ In the church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD! Dr. Hargreaves is better.
~ Don't miss this Saturday's exhibit by Christian Martian Arts...
~ The agenda was adopted...the minutes were approved...the final secretary gave a grief report.
