https://www.express.co.uk/news/uk/699100/Appropiate-time-wait-new-relationship-death-partner-two-years'Appropriate time' to wait before new relationships after death of partner is two years
ALMOST two years is an appropriate length of time to wait before starting a new relationship after the death of a husband or wife, according to a new survey.
By Sarah O'Grady
PUBLISHED: 17:40, Thu, Aug 11, 2016 | UPDATED: 20:31, Thu, Aug 11, 2016
After 22 months of grieving, the majority of the over-50s say it is time to move on, despite most bereaved older people waiting nearly four years (44 months) before dating again. However, when it comes to divorce or separation it is more acceptable to find a new partner quite rapidly, at around 11 months later, found a report by the online network for grandparents Gransnet. And the majority of people quizzed agreed that men move on more quickly to new relationships than women, both after bereavement (56 per cent) and after a split (67 per cent). Almost two thirds (61 per cent) felt that newly single older women were fussier about their choice of new partners than men in the same position. Relate counsellor Christine Northam said: “The results have given us a very interesting insight into the challenges people face moving on romantically in later life. But it’s important to remember that every person and couple is unique, and that there are no fixed rules about how long it takes to get over things. Learning from experience can be invaluable, and can help to lead towards happy, healthy future relationships so it’s important for newly single people to think carefully about they want from a new partner.â€
The poll also explored the impact that building new romantic relationships in later life has on respondents’ children. Of those with adult children who had found themselves single, 31 per cent said their children objected to their new partner, or potential partners. More than one in eight said they believed that their children would rather they were alone than had a new partner. Over half of those who had a child who objected to their new relationship said a personality clash between their child and new partner created conflict. Other causes of tension were adult children worrying that the new partner was trying to replace the parent they lost, concerns about a new partner’s intentions, inheritance, and feeling hurt that their parent had moved on too quickly. And for around a third of those who had children objecting, family tensions around their new partner were so bad that they ended the relationship. Single grandparents are embracing dating sites, with nearly a third (30 per cent) of those who started a relationship in later life meeting their partner via online dating. Gransnet editor Lara Crisp said: “Finding love in later life is tricky enough, without having the added headache of dealing with the disapproval of family members. It’s interesting to see what a huge part being online has in finding love in later life with so many people finding new partners through online dating. Our users often discuss relationship issues on the forums and it’s great to have that online support and insight from peers, especially when talking to family members in real life may be uncomfortable.â€
