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Messages - Lil angel

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Super
« on: May 11, 2024, 05:58:26 PM »
There was a Super Bowl football game between the big animals and the little animals. The big animals were crushing little animals. At half time the coach made a passionate speech to rally the little animals.  At the start of the second half the big animals had the ball. The first play, the elephant got stopped for no gain. The second play, the rhino was stopped for no gain. On third down, the hippo was thrown for a 5 yard loss.  The defense huddled around the coach and he asked excitedly, "Who stopped the elephant?"

"I did," said the centipede.

"Who stopped the rhino?"

"Uh, that was me too," said the centipede.

"And how about the hippo? Who hit him for a 5 yard loss?"

"That was me as well," said the centipede.

"SO WHERE WERE YOU THE FIRST HALF?" demanded the coach.

"Well," replied the centipede, "I was having my ankles taped."

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THE TOP SEVEN THINGS OVERHEAD ON THE WISE MEN'S JOURNEY TO BETHLEHEM:
 
7 - Man, I'm starting to get a rush from this frankincense!

6 - You guys ever eat camel meat? I hear it tastes like chicken.

5 - You know, I used to go to school with a girl name Beth Lehem.

4 - What kind of name is Balthazar anyhow?  Phoenician?

3 - Hey, do you either of you know why "MYRRH" is spelled with a "Y" instead of a "U"?

2 - Okay, whose camel just spit?

1 - All this staring at a star while riding a camel is making me woozy.

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THOU SHALT NOT SKIM FLAVOR FROM THE HOLIDAYS

I hate this time of year. Not for its crass commercialism and forced frivolity, but because it's the season when the food police come out with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can't pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do's and don'ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and cookies made with butter, they say. Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say. Good grief. Is your favorite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? I didn't think so. Isn't mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph.

I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you'll be fat and happy. So what if you don't make it to New Year's? Your pants won't fit anymore, anyway.

> About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

> If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

> As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

> Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Remember college?

> Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

> If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can't leave them behind. You're not going to see them again.

> Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

> And one final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips. Start over. But hurry! Cookie-less January is just around the corner!

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Faith / Re: Devotions
« on: March 30, 2024, 11:46:56 AM »
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2023/05/23/what-do-i-do-with-these-hard-emotions?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=257492745&_hsenc=p2ANqtz--Kwwu1mc5eCMTV0GE4V0KEsFTxNJakOYZubVRJhYDccaehaL752J61gfT_3HvBCaK1NICGmLxUWdePgV_-PplFMEjgZg&utm_content=257492745&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

What Do I Do With These Hard Emotions?
May 23, 2023
by Lynn Cowell

“He said to them, 'I am deeply grieved to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake.' He went a little farther, fell to the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from him.” Mark 14:34-35 (CSB)

What is this strange feeling in my chest?

Having never experienced the small pain before, I wondered what was happening.  Over the past few minutes, I’d been talking with Jesus, praying about a tenuous family situation, giving Him my heartache. My pen and paper were tools helping me unload my fears as well as my pain. Hadn’t I been pouring out all my concerns to the only One who could truly fix them?

Why, then, was my chest tight and hurting a bit?

Did this unfamiliar pressure of anxiety in my body mean I was doubting my Father?

I truly thought I was trusting Him.  For the first time, I began to understand that when our emotions are overwhelming, we can feel their repercussions in our bodies. Powerful emotions are not bad in and of themselves; in fact, our emotions were given to us by God. His original design, though, when God created people in His image (Genesis 1:27), was not for us to experience emotions that hurt us.  To make more connections between my Maker and the way He made me, I read the Gospels, searching for the emotions Jesus experienced in His days on earth. There they were: sadness (John 11:35), anger (Matthew 21:12-13), happiness (John 15:11) and so many more.  Though Jesus could never be overwhelmed in His divinity, Scripture tells us that when He was overwhelmed in His humanity, Jesus withdrew to spend time with His Father. He found the strength to keep moving toward fulfilling His Father’s assignment even when He was feeling strong emotions.  The Gospel of Mark shares Jesus’ experience as He faced His hardest assignment yet. Mark 14:33-34 says Jesus “took Peter, James, and John with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. He said to them, ‘I am deeply grieved to the point of death. Remain here and stay awake’” (CSB).

There in the garden, on the night of His betrayal, crushed by pain, Jesus “fell to the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from him” (Mark 14:35).

Jesus fell facedown (Matthew 26:39). It seems His emotional anguish was so strong He collapsed. And Jesus experienced other visible signs of emotional distress: “being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Luke 22:44, NIV).

Yet He went on to pray: “Abba, Father! All things are possible for you. Take this cup away from me. Nevertheless, not what I will, but what you will” (Mark 14:36, CSB).

He experienced extreme anguish and trusted His Father at the same time. In spite of profound agony, Jesus kept going, fulfilling His mission to die for us.  Like Jesus, you and I may experience powerful emotions, energy coursing through our minds, hearts and bodies, while walking with the Father. Anxiety, sadness, anger or other emotions are not necessarily indications that we’re not close to the Lord. And trusting God doesn’t always mean that what’s creating the strong emotion in us will go away. Still, we can choose to trust God even if things do not go the way we want, facing what comes with the assurance that God is by our side.  As I began to take long, deep breaths and meditate on His Word, my emotions prompted me to continue inviting the Holy Spirit into my problem by using tools sometimes called “spiritual disciplines” such as prayer, meditation on God’s Word, lament and more. We can always ask God to empower us to continue moving toward Jesus, even in the midst of anxious or hard feelings.

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Fun, Games And Silliness / The priest
« on: March 30, 2024, 11:25:54 AM »
The elderly priest, speaking to the younger priest, said, "You had a good idea to replace the first four pews with plush bucket theater seats.  It worked like a charm.  The front of the church always fills first now."

The young priest nodded, and the old priest continued, "And you told me adding a little more beat to the music would bring young people back to church, so I supported you when you brought in that rock 'n' roll gospel choir. Now our services are consistently packed to the balcony."

"Thank you, Father," answered the young priest. "I am pleased that you are open to the new ideas of youth."

"All of these ideas have been well and good," said the elderly priest, "But I'm afraid you've gone too far with the drive-thru confessional."

"But, Father," protested the young priest, "My confessions have nearly doubled since I began that!"

"Yes," replied the elderly priest, "And I appreciate that. But the flashing neon sign, 'Toot 'n Tell or Go to Hell' canNOT stay on the church roof."

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Re: Movies and Actors
« on: March 30, 2024, 11:23:15 AM »
Bleeding Love

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rejected

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Re: Keep A Word, Drop A Word, Add A Word
« on: March 30, 2024, 11:18:58 AM »
camping holiday

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Re: Word Association
« on: March 30, 2024, 11:18:26 AM »
stop

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Re: Movies and Actors
« on: January 27, 2024, 01:02:10 PM »
Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

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central

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Re: Keep A Word, Drop A Word, Add A Word
« on: January 27, 2024, 12:58:35 PM »
china plate

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Re: Word Association
« on: January 27, 2024, 12:57:41 PM »
day

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Re: Word Association
« on: December 01, 2023, 11:43:09 AM »
coal

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Re: Keep A Word, Drop A Word, Add A Word
« on: December 01, 2023, 11:42:34 AM »
morning sky

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