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Fun, Games And Silliness / Sleep
« on: April 22, 2024, 09:59:12 AM »
A pastor assured his congregation he was their servant and that they should feel free to call him anytime they had a problem.  That night the pastor's phone rang at 3 a.m. On the other end was a dear elderly lady who said, "Pastor, I can't sleep."

"I'm so sorry to hear that," he comforted her. "But what can I do about it?" the pastor asked.

She sweetly replied, "Preach to me a while, pastor."

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/royals/article-13176811/How-young-Queen-foiled-cynical-campaign-Edward-Mrs-Simpson-gatecrash-early-years-reign-ALEXANDER-LARMANs-new-book-reveals-exiled-couple-formidable-foe-saw-like-shed-Harry-Meghan.html?login&param_code=tn1k5iuclyy255wqgd6h&param_state=eyJyZW1lbWJlck1lIjpmYWxzZSwicmFuZG9tU3RhdGUiOiI1MDVhYjY3ZC04MmYwLTRkYTctOGI1Mi02NzU2ZWRlNWQ4NGMifQ%3D%3D&param__host=www.dailymail.co.uk&param_geolocation=row&base_fe_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.dailymail.co.uk%2F&validation_fe_uri=%2Fregistration%2Fp%2Fapi%2Ffield%2Fvalidation%2F&check_user_fe_uri=registration%2Fp%2Fapi%2Fuser%2Fuser_check%2F&isMobile=false

How the young Queen foiled a cynical campaign by Edward and Mrs Simpson to gatecrash the early years of her reign, ALEXANDER LARMAN's new book reveals. The exiled couple found a formidable foe who saw them off like she'd see off Harry and Meghan

By Alexander Larman

Published: 12:10, 9 March 2024 | Updated: 12:10, 9 March 2024

Had the Duke of Windsor wished to portray himself as a king-in-exile, he could not have done so more ostentatiously than at La Croe, the chateau in the south of France which he and his wife had moved to following his abdication.  With a staff of 28 and guests of the calibre of Noel Coward and Winston Churchill, they indulged in self-aggrandising theatricality, as if in compensation for all that he who ruled so briefly as King Edward VIII had given up to marry Wallis Simpson, the American divorcee who was now the Duchess.  'A tiny little white table for us four was set on the huge lawn,' recalled one visitor. 'There were rows of footmen the night was furiously hot but the Duke was in full Scottish regalia. I thought he was staging a production of some sort.'

Another observer was similarly dismissive about the relationship between the Duke and Duchess. Describing their presence at a Monte Carlo gala, he wrote: 'She had on every jewel. He wore a kilt. It was like watching a couple in pantomime the studied gestures, the automatic smiles.'

The Duke was no more subtle when he returned to England in February 1952 for the funeral of his younger brother, King George VI, who had so reluctantly come to the throne following his abdication.

One observer remarked on Edward's 'swaggering' manner, and described how he was 'talking and looking around, gesticulating and almost waving to the huge and completely silent crowd'.

As the late King himself had written to their mother Queen Mary, the Duke 'seems to think that when he gave up his work for which he was trained, he could "live" it down and return here as a private individual and all would be well. He has to consider others beside himself, and I doubt whether even now he realises the irrevocable step he took and the ghastly shock he gave this country.'

Among the biggest upsets caused by the Duke was one all too familiar to today's Royal Family following the publication of Prince Harry's autobiography Spare in January 2023. This came seven decades after the release of the Duke of Windsor's memoirs, his revenge on those he believed had wronged him in the years since his decision to give up the throne had left him jobless, stateless and rootless.  Much given to self-pity, he never admitted to being the author of his own misfortunes, instead blaming his brother for just about everything, including his inability to find a job that suited him.  His tenure as governor to the Bahamas between 1940 and 1945 had been dogged by endless controversy, including his friendship with the Nazi-sympathising mogul Axel Wenner-Gren, who had an estate there and no doubt agreed with the Duke's privately expressed view that 'Hitler was not such a bad chap'.

After leaving the Bahamas in May 1945, the Duke and Duchess based themselves at the Waldorf Towers in New York where their suite was decorated in suitably regal if garish style. One visitor noted that it contained everything from full-length portraits of George III and George IV the latter being the ruler the Duke had often explicitly compared himself to to two liveried footmen, and even napkins embossed with the Royal arms.  Shortly afterwards the Duke suggested to the King that he should become an ambassador-at-large to the United States, leaving the official ambassador, Lord Halifax, to attend to the drudgery and official business while he travelled the world first class, naturally and the bill was picked up by someone else.  Halifax, a former Foreign Secretary who had dealt with the Duke during his governorship of the Bahamas, remembered his arrogance, lack of consideration to his fellow man and general inability to do his work to the required standards. When asked to comment on the Duke's proposal, he wrote: 'I cannot but think that anything of this sort would lead to inevitable trouble.'

In March 1946 the King wrote to his brother to tell him that the appointment would not be possible, and the Duke's anger was exacerbated by his brother's continued refusal to give his wife the recognition he believed was her due. Although the terms of the abdication entitled him to use the title of His Royal Highness, this was denied to the Duchess and he considered this insulting and wrong.  Within two months he had written to his lawyer, Sir Walter Monckton, outlining his plans to write 'my side of the abdication story'. He claimed he wanted to explode the 'considerable doubt and conjecture' that existed in people's minds. But as he confided in former courtier Godfrey Thomas, he had noted the lucrative deal secured for Winston Churchill's six-volume history of the Second World War and didn't see why he shouldn't be similarly rewarded.  Edward may have airily compared himself to Churchill, but there was a key difference between the two men. The former Prime Minister was a talented writer with an ear for a killer phrase, while the former monarch was an adequate, if verbose, correspondent given to unjustified self-regard.  A ghostwriter was needed, and his American publisher appointed journalist Charles Murphy, a former China correspondent for Fortune magazine and an expert on global intelligence matters.  When they began work at La Croe in the summer of 1947, Murphy discovered that the then 54-year-old Duke was spending most of his nocturnal hours in various nightclubs, often remaining out until dawn. He later wrote: 'His span of attention was two and a half minutes maximum, and when the story of the preceding night was plainly written in his trembling hands and bloodshot eyes, I knew that another workday would have to be scrubbed.'

The book still wasn't finished by the end of 1949, by which time the King had learned that rumours of its intended publication were not mere gossip. According to the Conservative politician Harold Nicolson, he was 'very distressed at the news'.  Although fully aware that the King was recovering from an operation to address vascular problems caused by his heavy smoking, Edward came to London that December to raise with him once again the increasingly vexed situation of the Duchess's HRH title.  Their meeting did not go well. In a letter to Princess Elizabeth, the Queen described how Edward 'came & had one of his violent yelling conversations, stamping up and down the room, & very unfairly saying that because Papa wouldn't (& couldn't) do a certain thing, that Papa must hate him'.

The book was eventually published in September 1951 just five months before the King's death from a coronary thrombosis. Although there are no letters detailing the King or Queen's reaction, it is a safe assumption that their opinion did not stray far from that of his private secretary Sir Alan 'Tommy' Lascelles. Writing to a colleague, he expressed disgust at 'a former King of England selling for money his recollections of his family life, in a form that is indecent and for a motive that is squalid'.

The reviews were mixed. The Times Literary Supplement talked of how 'it is the Duke's own book his own personality, his likes and strong dislikes, spring to life as well as his keen sense of humour'.

Had they known of the extent of Charles Murphy's involvement, the praise may have been more lukewarm, like that of The Observer which sighed: 'The wisdom of publication is arguable the hero emerges as rather a pathetic figure.'

Such criticism did not harm sales. Charles Murphy estimated that the Duke earned close to £357,000 the equivalent of about £10million today from A King's Story. But the couple's expensive tastes meant that sums of money that would have kept most people happy for a lifetime were spent in a matter of months.  The book also estranged the Duke from his family for ever, as became clear following the King's death on February 6, 1952.  During a press conference given aboard the Queen Mary as he sailed from New York, the Duke hinted that his visit to London for the funeral was not a purely selfless one, pointing out to American newspaper reporters: 'Queen Elizabeth is only 25 how young to assume the responsibilities of a great throne in these precarious times?'

Backing away from the clear implication that he might step in as regent for 'the girl' as he and his wife referred to her in private he concluded: 'She has the good wishes and support of us all.'

But it was clear that he and Wallis had discussed the likelihood that they stood to gain preferment if they played their cards right.  While the Duke was in London for the funeral, Wallis wrote to remind him to ingratiate himself with the new Queen and her husband, adding: 'I know how you hate being there but this is a golden opportunity and it may only knock but once.'

Whatever their plans, they had underestimated their implacable opponent in the Queen Mother who, for all her public and private proclamations that she would be taking on a supporting role now that her daughter was on the throne, remained a powerful figure who was not yet ready to shuffle off into her dotage.  The first indication that she was prepared to flash steel concerned not the Duke but Prince Philip.  Having spent a considerable amount of time and money refurbishing Clarence House as a home for Princess Elizabeth and their young children Charles and Anne, Philip objected to moving to Buckingham Palace, insisting there was no need for the expense and bother of uprooting the new Royal Family.  His mother-in-law did not agree. 'I have been feeling very unhappy all today, and I suppose that talking about leaving Buckingham Palace just finished me off,' she wrote in a letter to Elizabeth.

But although she was clearly still coming to terms with her altered status, she knew that every monarch since Queen Victoria had lived at the palace, and nobody believed more strongly in upholding protocol than she.  'Naturally you must move back to B.P. in the spring,' she insisted and eventually Philip had to accept the monarchy was a greater institution than four people. He gave in.

The Queen Mother was more unyielding still when it came to dealing with her brother-in-law, reserving continued contempt for the man whose actions she believed had affected her husband's health irreparably in the years leading up to his death.  Shortly before the funeral, the Duke learned that the £10,000 he had been receiving as an annual allowance since his abdication was to be stopped, as it had been purely in his brother's gift.  Lingering in Britain after the ceremony, he wrote a letter to 'Cookie' the insulting sobriquet he and the Duchess used for the Queen Mother to request a private appointment.  'I can well understand your not wanting to be bothered by people at this terribly sad moment in your life,' he said. 'But I would very much like to have a talk with you alone.' 

His request was granted, but if he had hoped to bring his brother's widow to his side over the vexed question of money he was to be disappointed, as he was over his plan to attend his niece's Coronation.  Following a conversation with the young woman about to take up the mantle of majesty, Geoffrey Fisher, the Archbishop of Canterbury, recorded in his notes that 'the Queen would be less willing than anyone to have him there'.

In this she may have been influenced by her mother, but the new Queen was also discovering confidence in adversity, commenting to one friend: 'I no longer feel anxious or worried. I don't know what it is, but I have lost all my timidity somehow becoming the sovereign.'

Her uncle had been an appalling, selfish king; her father a dutiful and serviceable one. But Elizabeth II was someone quite different.  Her reign would not be without controversy, incident or upset, but never would she be regarded by her loyal and adoring subjects as anything other than an inspiration. She was the longest-serving monarch in British history, and in many regards the greatest.

© Alexander Larman, 2024

Adapted from Power And Glory by Alexander Larman, to be published by Orion on March 28 at £25. To order a copy for £22.50 (offer valid to 23/2/24; UK p&p free on orders over £25) go to mailshop.co.uk/books or call 020 3176 2937.

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12972759/bronson-battersby-final-fortnight-starved-dehydrated-five-days.html

Bronson Battersby's heartbreaking final fortnight: How tragic toddler's mother last saw him alive at Christmas before he was found curled up in the dark at his father's knees starved and dehydrated a week after social worker raised alarm to police

By Matthew Lodge and Dan Woodland

Published: 09:11, 17 January 2024 | Updated: 10:27, 17 January 2024

A toddler was tragically found curled up in the dark at the knees of his dead father weeks after his mother last saw him alive at Christmas.  The body of two-year-old Bronson Battersby was found in the Skegness home of his dad Kenneth on January 9 after days of attempts to contact them by concerned social services.  The child who was classed as vulnerable and was being checked on weekly was found in his pyjamas in the dark alongside the family's emaciated pet boxer dog Skylar who survived.  The tragic discovery came a week after a social worker first raised an alarm about the pair to police after being unable to contact Kenneth at an arranged meeting on January 2.  A neighbour had seen Kenneth and Bronson on Boxing Day, days after the child's mother Sarah Piesse last saw her son alive before Christmas.  But 60-year-old Kenneth is thought to have succumbed to a heart attack before New Year with his son tragically passing away days later due to starvation and dehydration.  Now a timeline has revealed the tragic final weeks of Bronson's life:

    Before Christmas - Bronson's mother Sarah Piesse sees him alive for the last time and argues with the boy's father Kenneth Battersby.
    Boxing Day - A neighbour goes to see Kenneth and Bronson at their home in Skegness.
    December 27 - Sixty-year-old Kenneth messages the neighbour to thank her for checking in on them. He also receives a text from a social worker arranging a visit on January 2. 
    December 29 - The earliest date Kenneth could have died based on the results of a post-mortem.
    January 2 - The social worker arrives at the house but gets no answer when knocking on the door. She contacts the police.
    January 4 - The social worker returns to Kenneth's Skegness home and again receives no answer, She once again contacts the police.
    January 9 - The social worker, using a key from Kenneth's landlord, gets into his home. She finds the bodies of Bronson and his father.
    January 16 - Family get the results of a post-mortem showing Kenneth died of a heart attack and Bronson from dehydration and starvation.

Heartbroken family and friends have paid tribute to the pair who were only found when the social worker, who had contacted police twice in the space of a week with concerns about them, used the key of Kenneth's landlord to gain entry.  They had visited Kenneth's home in Skegness, Lincolnshire on January 2, for a routine visit but received no reply, and after failing to find them through friends contacted the police.  They visited again on January 4 but again there was no response from them. The social worker contacted the police again that day.  They would contact police a third and final time after discovering the bodies of the pair on January 9.  The toddler's mother, Sarah Piesse, 43, last saw her son before Christmas after a row with her ex and when she saw him next she was tragically unable to hold him as she identified his body as 'he had been left there too long'.  Ms Piesse told The Sun: 'If social services had done their job Bronson would still be alive.  I can't believe it. They can't let them get away with this. We have to be able to rely on social workers to keep our children safe.  I've had the results of the post mortem. Bronson starved to death because his dad died. They think Kenneth died no earlier than December 29.  It means if the social worker had pushed to get in when she got no reply on January 2 then Bronson would still have been alive.'

On Facebook, Bronson's sister Melaniie Battersby wrote: 'Beautiful little boy deserved so much better than this life. We love you Bronson, forever a part of us, and forever my baby brother.'

Adding her 'head and heart' were 'in pieces', she said: 'A lot of anger inside at minute when I just want to remember his little smile and soft nature instead. He were perfect.'

Mother-of-three Sarah last saw Bronson after getting into an argument with Kenneth before Christmas.  A friend of the family said the toddler enjoyed watching the Cocomelon, adored nursery rhymes and often played his Little Tykes drum kit.  They added that it was horrible to think that the 'gorgeous' boy who was 'always smiling and so loving' had been 'left in the dark and must have been terrified and so confused'. 

Bronson was last seen alive by his neighbour after they visited the house on Boxing Day. Kenneth then messaged the same neighbour saying: 'Thanks so much for caring, it means the world to me and Bronson.'

That same day, the social worker texted Kenneth to arrange a visit on January 2.  She contacted the police when she did not receive any answer during the visit and did the same again when she returned to the house on January 4.  The social worker then decided to enter the property herself on January 9 using a key from the landlord.  She found the bodies of Bronson and Kenneth and contacted police, who then rushed to the scene along with paramedics at around 3.25pm. The pair were pronounced dead at the scene.  Kenneth was unemployed and had a pre-existing heart condition which had caused him to become severely jaundiced is the months leading up to his death.  Bronson was also classified as vulnerable by social services meaning that he received weekly visits from social workers.   The Sun said it understands the social worker has voluntarily taken time off.  Heather Sandy, executive director for children's services, said: 'This was a tragic incident, and we are supporting the family at this difficult time.  We are carrying out a review of the case alongside partner agencies to better understand the circumstances, and we await the results of the coroner's investigations as well.  Our thoughts are with the family and friends of those involved.'

A spokeswoman for Lincolnshire Police said: 'Police were made aware of the deaths of a 60-year-old man and a two-year-old child at a property in Skegness, at around 3.25pm on January 9.  Investigations have been carried out and the deaths are not being treated as suspicious.'

MailOnline has contacted Lincolnshire Police for further comment.

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12622241/TV-judge-Rob-Rinder-reveals-Jewish-mother-doesnt-feel-safe-Britain-Hamas-attack-Israel-says-young-nephews-school-risk-not-come-home-amid-surge-anti-Semitism.html

TV judge Rob Rinder reveals his Jewish mother doesn't feel safe in Britain after Hamas attack on Israel and says his young nephews go to school 'under risk and might not come home' amid surge in anti-Semitism

    READ MORE: Judge Robert Rinder lights a candle for Holocaust Memorial Day

By Katherine Lawton

Published: 09:51, 12 October 2023 | Updated: 10:17, 12 October 2023

Rob Rinder today revealed his Jewish mother does not feel safe in Britain after the Hamas attack on Israel.  The TV judge also told Good Morning Britain that his young nephews go to school 'under risk' and may 'not come home' as he fears for the safety of all Jewish people across the country.  It comes amid fears of a surge in anti-Semitic hate crimes in Britain after Hamas terrorists slaughtered innocent Israeli civilians at the weekend and Israel starting bombing Gaza in retaliation.mmRinder was born into a Jewish family and received an MBE in 2021 along with his mother Angela Cohen in recognition of their services to Holocaust education. He learned how seven of his relatives were slaughtered in Nazi concentration camps in the Second World War while delving into his family history on a 2018 episode of the BBC series Who Do You Think You Are?   Speaking to GMB, he said: 'My mum is sitting there saying she feels unsafe there's less than 270,000 Jews in this country, and my nephew, kids as young as seven, are going to school today and they do so under risk.  There's a chance they're going to not come home. Sending your kids to school shouldn't be an act of courage that's the life-lived experience of Jewish kids just going to school.  And of shop owners in London and in other cities, we've got a lived memory of that of what that means not to be safe because of your religion, because of being Jewish.'

He added: 'It's personal for me but it should be personal for every person, whoever you are, up and down the country.  It's worth remembering when you think about how you're going to respond today.  I was at a vigil outside Downing Street. What happened at that vigil was that there way no chanting, no happiness, there was prayer for peace, for every singe human life, every single human life that has value.  Whatever happens in the Middle East should have no impact on the safety of our communities - and its your job whoever you are to stand alongside us because we need you.'

He added: 'Be mindful of that is what I'd say before you post.'

Rinder made an emotional plea to social media users to 'think carefully' before they post following the death of two of his friends in Israel.  Speaking to Sky News at the Attitude Awards in London on Wednesday, Rinder said: 'Be kind, read and educate yourself and think carefully before you post (on social media).mm'Kindness requires thought, it requires hope, it requires you to try and be as mindful as possible, as you can have to learn a little bit and we invite that from other communities and that's true of the Jewish community as well.  Right now, our Jewish community, many of my friends, my kids who I taught, I've got friends who were killed at that dance party, for example, a couple who planned to get married, two women in Israel, they spent their lives trying to work and campaign for peace and they're gone tonight.'

Supernova music festival in the desert near Kibbutz Re'im was invaded by Hamas gunmen and hundreds of attendees were killed.  Rinder took a pause during the interview as he appeared to break down and look tearful and upset before, saying: 'Hamas doesn't speak for the people of Palestine, it does not speak for the people of Gaza, it's a tragedy and a horror for what might befall them, but be mindful of the Jewish community tonight.  Thousands of people have died, many of whom are working for justice, for freedom, for the people who celebrate this so joyously, remember them too and don't ask them questions about whataboutery, they don't deserve that.  Hamas is a terrorist organisation. It's one that hates gay people.  They do not speak of or by for the good people of the world, remember that when you post, be mindful.  Remember all human life is a value and we as a Jewish community, just like the LGBT+ community, need you, we need you more than ever and be an ally, and think, and be kind.'

Judge Rinder gave a talk to mark Holocaust Memorial Day at Exeter Cathedral in Devon in January.  The TV personality also lit a candle in remembrance of the six million Jews who were killed in the atrocity.  The UK's Holocaust Memorial Day was first held on January 27, 2001 and has been held on the same day every year since.  The date is the anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz concentration camp by the Soviet Union in 1945.  Upon receiving his MBE, Rinder said it was 'a gift to share this with my mum who has taught me always to see the best in humankind.'

In 2020, Rinder made the documentary My Family, The Holocaust and Me in which he and his mother explored Jewish families' stories and speak in schools alongside survivors.  Some three million viewers watched the documentary, which follows second and third generations of three families affected by the Holocaust.  The TV judge was told how his great-grandparents and five of their children were killed in the Holocaust, with his grandfather, Morris Malenicky, the only member of the family to survive the war.  The star discovered how Morris' parents, his four sisters and his brother all died at the Treblinka Camp in Poland in 1940, six months after war was declared.

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12552055/Child-vampire-body-Poland-17th-century-feared-body-archaeologists.html

'Child vampire' body is found in Poland: 17th century locals feared body of youngster could come back to life, archaeologists say

    A woman with a scythe across her neck was found in the same cemetery

By Elizabeth Haigh

Published: 09:55, 23 September 2023 | Updated: 10:02, 23 September 2023

The remains of a six-year-old child a community feared would come back to life as a vampire have been discovered in Poland partially exhumed and with half the body missing, archaeologists say.  The 17th-century Polish cemetery in the village of Pien has been the focus of historians this week after it was revealed multiple bodies had been unearthed with 'anti-revenant' protection methods.  Myths surrounding the undead and vampires date back to as early as the 11th century in eastern Europe, and it is not uncommon for skeletons bearing the marks of these superstitions to be unearthed.  In eastern Europe tales of people who died and then returned to the living world several months later were rife, and were often blamed for sudden deaths, accidents or even just generally making life more difficult - such as being held responsible for a poor harvest.  But the discovery of a tiny child's skeleton treated this way is believed to be the first of its kind.  The child, believed to be around six years old, was discovered buried face-down, so that if they awoke they would bite the ground rather than suck the blood from the people above them, the Times reports.  Its foot was also held in a padlock, which could have been to make its exit from the grave harder, or to symbolise the 'closing of a stage' and make it impossible for the child to return.  But archaeologists also discovered that after burial, the body was partially exhumed and the top half removed, presumably to be destroyed.  Team leader Professor Dariusz Poliński from the Nicholas Copernicus University in the nearby city of Torun told the Times the child was clearly 'greatly feared'.  He continued: 'The reason for such a brutal and disgusting burial is unknown.'

The grim discovery was made in the same cemetery as a woman who was buried with a scythe pressing down on her neck a way to ensure she would decapitate herself if she tried to rise from the dead, experts said.  Professor Poliński previously told MailOnline: 'Ways to protect against the return of the dead include cutting off the head or legs, placing the deceased face down to bite into the ground, burning them, and smashing them with a stone.  The sickle was not laid flat but placed on the neck in such a way that if the deceased had tried to get up most likely the head would have been cut off or injured.'

In a similar way to the witch trials, myths surrounding blood-sucking revenants returning to haunt a local populace caused significant hysteria in some areas of Europe - and even led to some executions of innocents thought to be vampires.  Those who died and were deemed to be at risk of returning were often buried in remote graveyards away from major settlements.  Professor Poliński said this could include people who died unbaptised or those who killed themselves.  They could also have had particularly violent deaths or experienced frightening symptoms of mental illness, or serious diseases.   Methods to ensure they remained dead included placing a scythe over the body, burning it or even staking and decapitating it.   In 2015, archaeologists in the village of Drewsko 130 miles away found five skeletons buried in a similar manner at a 400-year-old cemetery.  Sickles were found pressed against the throats of an adult man, who was between 35 to 44 years old, and an adult woman around 35 to 39 years old.  An older woman, who was 50 to 60 years old when she died, was buried with a sickle laying across her hips, and a medium sized stone at her throat.

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Fun, Games And Silliness / Tomatoes
« on: August 23, 2023, 10:39:26 AM »
Customer: "How much are these tomatoes?"

Owner: "Ninety-nine cents a pound."

Customer: "What? The stand down the road only charges seventy-nine cents a pound!"

Owner: "Then why don't you shop there?"

Customer: "They don't have any today."

Owner: "Well, when I don't have any I charge seventy-nine cents, too!"

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The Top Ten Ways The Bible Would Have Been Different If It Had Been Written By College Students

10. The Last Supper would have been eaten the next morning...cold.

9 The Ten Commandments would be only five, double-spaced and written in a large font.

8. A new edition would be written every two years to limit reselling.

7. Forbidden fruit would have been eaten because it wasn't cafeteria food.

6. Paul's letter to the Romans becomes Paul's email to abuse@romans.gov

5. Reason Cain killed Abel: They were roommates.

4. The place where the end of the world occurs: Finals, not Armageddon.

3. Out go the mules, in comes the mountain bikes.

2. Reason why Moses and followers walked in the desert for 40 years: They didn't want to ask directions and look like freshmen.

1. Instead of God creating the world in six days and resting on the seventh, He would have put it off until the night before it was due and then pulled an all-nighter.

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-12431921/Woman-25-reveals-diagnosed-stage-three-colon-cancer-24-began-BURPING-10-times-day.html

Woman, 25, reveals how she was diagnosed with stage three colon cancer at 24 after she began BURPING 10 times a day

    Bailey, 25, from Florida, began burping excessively during a holiday in 2001
    READ MORE: These are the four warning signs of colon cancer in younger adults

By Maria Okanrende For Mailonline

Updated: 10:58, 22 August 2023

A woman who went from never burping to belching 'five to ten times a day' has revealed how she was then diagnosed with stage three colon cancer at age 24.  Bailey Mcbreen, 25, from Sarasota, Florida, never imagined that something so ordinary could have been a symptom of something so deadly.  The nurse knew something was amiss during a holiday with her fiancé in 2021. The trip was marred by constant belching around 'five to ten times a day' even though she was incapable of burping before.  The couple joked about her sudden ability to release gas, and with a doctor putting it down to 'anxiety', she focused squarely on planning her dream wedding.  She recalled: 'We were joking about my burping on holiday because I never used to be able to do it.  We didn't think it was anything alarming as burping is so normal for everyone else.  I casually mentioned it to my doctor on my next visit, but again, they also didn't think anything of it and it was put down to anxiety.  I had no other symptoms and eventually everything just went back to normal until January this year'.

What was once considered an embarrassing joke soon transformed into something much more sinister.  As time went on, her unusual burping was accompanied by a variety of other concerning symptoms such as vomiting and nausea.  She explained:  'I had been planning my engagement party so I was really busy and preoccupied, but then after the party, I realized I hadn't gone to the toilet in a couple of days which was not normal for me.  As the week went on, my symptoms started snowballing. I had excruciating abdominal pain, cramping, and nausea, and I couldn't keep my food down.  As a nurse, I knew they were the symptoms of a small bowel obstruction, so I tried to resolve it on my own.   However, by the time the weekend came around, I was in so much pain my mom said I needed to go to the hospital'.

At her mother's insistence, the pair went to a hospital, where Bailey was given a CT scan. Moments later she would receive a devastating diagnosis.  'Within 10 minutes I was told that I had a mass on my colon and that they believed it was colon cancer until it was proved otherwise' added Bailey.

'I was admitted to the hospital straight away. When my biopsy results came back, it was confirmed that I had stage three colon cancer.  I felt the blood rush out of my head when I heard those words, and my entire body froze. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.  I then just went into nurse mode and started asking lots of questions. I was thinking about IVF, losing my hair, and chemotherapy'.

Bailey underwent further surgery to remove part of her colon and some of her lymph nodes.  She has also completed 12 weeks of chemotherapy and is currently waiting for results to determine her next steps.  She continued: 'I'm in a waiting game at the moment to see if I will need more surgery.  The doctors couldn't get a clear margin the first time round to remove the cancer as it had also attached itself to my spleen. Or I may need further treatment such as radiotherapy'.

The quick turnaround of events has left Bailey in utter shock. She remarked that she never would have considered burping to be a symptom of cancer: 'It's something that is so easily dismissed.  But I've learnt that anything that is not normal for you, is abnormal.  Symptoms are our body's way of telling us that something is wrong'.

An oncologist told Bailey that burping is one of the biggest symptoms seen in young adults with colon cancer.  The bride-to-be says she is 'praying' the cancer doesn't return, adding she has felt 'lost' since her bout with the grueling treatment.  She said: 'Since finishing chemo, I've been feeling lost. It's weird just waiting around and praying that I won't have a reoccurrence.  However, I have been planning my wedding in the middle of all of this, which has given me something to focus on and keep my mind occupied.  We're having a small destination wedding in November. It's been amazing to have something that's giving me light during something very dark and scary. I can't wait to get married'.

Bailey is focused wholeheartedly on turning her life around 'holistically' so she can maintain the energy needed to fight for her life. The experience has also taught her some key lessons about life.  'My biggest takeaway from all of this is to not let medics dismiss your symptoms. You know your body better than anyone and if you think something isn't quite right, don't let it be covered by modern medicine'.

EXCESSIVE BELCHING AS A SIGN OF COLON CANCER

Belching, also known as burping, is your body's way of expelling excess air from your upper digestive tract.  A healthy person usually burps up to 30 times a day. However, some conditions may cause you to burp more often.  Belching alone is not a definitive symptom of cancer, but it may be a precursor to cancers in the digestive system.  Excessive burping that occurs alongside other symptoms can be signs of certain cancers, such as gastric (stomach) cancer, esophageal cancer, and colon cancer.  In addition to constant burping, look out for symptoms like:

    Poor appetite
    Unintentional weight loss
    Abdominal pain
    Discomfort in the abdomen, usually above the navel
    Feeling full after eating only a small meal
    Heartburn or indigestion
    Nausea
    Vomiting, with or without blood
    Swelling or fluid buildup in the abdomen

Information compiled by Verywell Health

9
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-12327749/The-eugenics-obsessed-mother-created-perfect-daughter-shot-dead-feared-HG-Wells-plotting-kidnap-incredible-true-story-dramatised-captivating-new-TV-saga.html

The eugenics-obsessed mother who created the 'perfect daughter' then shot her dead because she feared HG Wells was plotting to kidnap her. An incredible true story now it's about to be dramatised in a captivating new TV saga

By Christopher Stevens

Published: 00:46, 23 July 2023 | Updated: 08:33, 23 July 2023

At dawn on a summer's morning, Aurora Rodriguez slipped into the bedroom of her 18-year-old daughter Hildegart and stood over her, holding the revolver she kept to protect them against predatory men. Slowly and with careful precision, she shot the sleeping girl three times in the head and once in the heart. Then she left the house and walked to the nearby home of a lawyer, waking him to confess to the murder.  Killing her child was the last desperate resort of a loving mother, she said, and claimed that it was the only means to prevent Hildegart from being kidnapped by the novelist H G Wells who she was convinced was working for the British secret services.  Having given birth to the girl, who was conceived via a sperm donor with the eugenic aim of creating a superhuman 'model woman of the future', Aurora believed she had the right to take the life she had so meticulously crafted.  Her daughter had, indeed, been a child prodigy, who, as a teenager, authored two books, carving out an international reputation as a campaigner for women's rights and sexual freedom. But this wasn't enough for her mother, who resembled a Dr Frankenstein figure at her trial, disappointed at having not created the 'perfect child'.  This tragic story, involving the chilling theory of eugenics that was fashionable among early 20th Century writers and thinkers that 'good breeding' could eradicate undesirable characteristics, is barely known in Britain. However, it has been legendary for 90 years in Spain, where Hildegart is known as the Red Virgin. Now, a much wider audience will be introduced to her life as she is to be the subject of an Amazon TV drama starring Najwa Nimri and Alba Planas.  Aurora Rodriguez was born in 1879, the daughter of a prominent liberal politician and Freemason in Madrid. When aged 16, her older sister gave birth to a son, Pepito, who soon displayed a gift for music. At her father's urging, Aurora took over the child's education, drilling him at piano practice for hours every day.  This went on for three years, until her sister claimed her little boy back. Aurora was furious, accusing her family of intending to exploit the boy's genius.  Deprived of this human project, she decided to embark on one of her own. She had no intention of getting married: the thought of sex repulsed her. As a feminist and socialist, she also regarded sex as a trick to enslave women and reduce them to the level of breeding stock. But by the time she was 30, she decided she was willing to endure intercourse for as long as it took to become pregnant.    She needed a partner who met her criteria of education and social class, who would agree to a physical relationship without any emotional attachment and who could be trusted never to claim paternity rights as the biological father.  Eventually, she chose a military priest, Albert Pallas Montseny. As soon as she was certain she was expecting a child, she broke off all contact with Pallas.  For nine months she adopted a strict regime supposed to ensure the health of the foetus, bathing twice a day and waking every hour through the night to commit to a pseudo-scientific ritual of changing position.  On December 9, 1914, Aurora gave birth to a daughter and named her Hildegart. She claimed the name meant 'garden of wisdom' and commenced the baby's schooling. Her goal, she later declared, was to mould 'the most perfect woman who was the measure of humanity and the final redeemer'. Hildegart once explained to the English sexologist Havelock Ellis: 'I was a eugenic child.'

Eugenics was a term coined by the explorer and anthropologist Francis Galton, a cousin of evolutionist Charles Darwin. He devised a twisted theory of natural selection for human beings.  Ranking people by class and race, Galton taught that the so-called lower orders 'must be subjected to rigorous selection. The few best specimens of that race can alone be allowed to become parents, and not many of their descendants can be allowed to live. If a higher race be substituted for the low one, all this terrible misery disappears'.

His views were adopted not only by the Nazis, but by many of the Suffragettes who were eager to see birth control and abortion made legal and easily available.  Marie Stopes, now regarded as the pioneer of family planning, was an enthusiastic eugenicist. Inter-racial marriage should be outlawed, she believed, calling for the 'hopelessly rotten and racially diseased' to be sterilised.  Her views are now regarded as so repugnant that in 2020 the charity Marie Stopes International hid her name behind an acronym, becoming MSI Reproductive Choices.  By the time Hildegart was 11 months old, she knew her alphabet and could pick out letters on wooden blocks. Aged two, she was reading, at three she could hold a pen and write a letter, and at four she could type and play the piano.  By the time she was ten, she spoke German, French, English, Italian, Portuguese and Latin on top of Spanish. She started university at 13. Aurora also taught her about reproduction, though sex education was taboo in Spain at that time.  'I remember,' Hildegart wrote, 'that when I was about three years old, I learnt that the rose was hermaphrodite. At that time, one of our servant girls was named Rosa, and that same day I ran to her and said: "Rosa, you are a hermaphrodite!" She asked what that was, and when I ingenuously explained that it meant being male and female at the same time, there was, as you may imagine, a scene.'

Though she was taught about sex, there was no affection in her upbringing. Aurora was proud Hildegart had no friends her own age and no other adult played any significant part in her childhood. She was almost never hugged.  By the time she was 11, Hildegart Rodriguez was a pioneer in the feminist cause of sexual liberation.  She gave lectures to packed audiences, preaching that women would never be free until they could indulge in sex outside marriage as men did, without fear of pregnancy. Before she was 16, while studying for her law degree, she published two books, Sex And Love and The Sexual Rebellion Of Youth, as well as three pamphlets on the subject.  Such views were outrageous in Catholic Spain but Hildegart was able to voice them because she was so obviously an innocent.  At the same time, she became an ardent socialist. The combination earned her the soubriquet of the Red Virgin. In 1930 she wrote to Havelock Ellis. His sexual psychology books were so controversial that they could not be printed or sold in Britain. The most notorious was Sexual Inversion a sympathetic study of male homosexuality among the professional classes.  Another, Auto-Eroticism, dealt with masturbation, and a third, The Erotic Rights Of Women, argued that men did not have a monopoly on sexual pleasure. Havelock Ellis, then 71, was entranced by Hildegart, all the more so because he approved of her Left-wing politics. He went to hear her lecture and reported that she received standing ovations lasting five minutes.  She also approached America's leading advocate for birth control, Dorothy Sanger, asking for help obtaining teaching materials and contraceptives.  'My mother has read your book, My Fight For Birth Control, many times,' she wrote, 'and bids me send you her most affectionate regards.'

Aurora kept close control over her precocious daughter, joining her on stage and insisting that they both dressed head to toe in black as a discouragement to lecherous males. But she couldn't promote Hildegart as a public icon and keep her secluded from would-be suitors. One was Catalan lawyer Antonio Villena. Another was the socialist writer Abel Velilla, whose attentions worried Aurora so much she ordered him to keep his distance.  By 1932, when Hildegart was 17, Spain had deposed its king and become a republic. A Fascist opposition was building, with the nationalist General Francisco Franco gaining influence.  At the same time, Hildegart was beginning to form her own opinions, instead of reciting those taught to her by her mother. She expressed doubts about Communism, writing a pamphlet titled Was Marx Wrong? which drew death threats from Left-wing extremists.  The final crisis came when Havelock Ellis introduced Hildegart to novelist H G Wells, whose prophetic writing (including The War Of The Worlds) exhorted mankind to mend its ways. The pair exchanged letters and the then 66-year-old ardent socialist invited the teenager to travel to England to work with him. But as a shameless womaniser, it is unlikely that his interest in her was wholly political.  Hildegart refused, but her mother was convinced the two Englishmen would prise her daughter away. She suspected them of being British secret agents a ludicrous charge, but one no more mad than many of Aurora's other ideas.  In May 1933, she confined Hildegart to the house, even disconnecting the phone.  She was also reeling from the discovery that, far from being the genetically pure father she believed, Pallas was an incestuous rapist who had sexually assaulted his own niece.  By the deranged logic of eugenics, Aurora had not created the 'perfect girl' but a monster that had to die.  At her trial, Aurora tried to justify the murder, saying: 'The sculptor, after discovering the most minimal imperfection in his work, destroys it.'

Havelock Ellis was appalled by the killing. He called her Saint Hildegart and 'a miracle'.  'Hildegart's murder was like an earthquake,' said Julian Vadillo, professor of contemporary history at Carlos III University of Madrid. 'Her death meant the end of one of Spanish feminism's greatest hopes.'

Aurora was jailed for 26 years. At first, she tried to continue her socialist mission, campaigning to form a trade union for prisoners. But her delusions consumed her. During the Spanish Civil War in the late 1930s she was diagnosed with schizophrenia and transferred to the Ciempozuelos mental hospital in Madrid, run by nuns.  In 1948, aged 69, she wrote to the Mother Superior, asking for parole: 'I have been here 15 years. I am old and receive hardly any visitors.'

Clemency was denied and, seven years later, she died from cancer.  To occupy herself in the asylum, she made rag dolls. The nuns did not allow her to keep them.

10
Faith / Does It Really Matter if I Read God’s Word Today?
« on: June 08, 2023, 12:28:11 PM »
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2022/05/12/does-it-really-matter-if-i-read-gods-word-today?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=211922846&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-82tDvHD8KGeGuuGjqv2g1NUd589ca7-CNbDop4hROi_2QyjR2mz9CuB9F2AhkUapJRZvCHR2j0OQ7yWzEWs_AsCp6wxw&utm_content=211922846&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

Does It Really Matter if I Read God’s Word Today?
May 12, 2022
by Lysa TerKeurst

“so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it” Isaiah 55:11 (NIV)

Do you ever get overwhelmed when you sit down to read your Bible?

Me too especially when I’m feeling worn down and worn out.  When we’re in these desperate places, it’s easy to simply want God to rain down “right now” wisdom full of answers and solutions for what’s breaking our hearts. But spending time in God’s Word actually offers us so much more than quick fixes. You see, the Bible doesn’t just give us instruction for today it also plants wisdom in our hearts for the future.  We see this powerful truth in Isaiah 55:10-11 (ESV), which says: “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.”

This water imagery would have been quite significant to the people of Israel. Because of where they lived, they were heavily dependent on seasonal rains for water. Water simply wasn’t as easily accessible to Israel as it was for other nations like Egypt with its Nile River.  The Israelites’ need to depend on God for physical sustenance and satisfaction served as a continual reminder of their need to depend upon Him spiritually as well.  They didn’t just need the rain for immediate relief for themselves or nourishment for their plants. The rains served a dual purpose enabling the crops to flourish for food that year as well as enabling the crops to produce the seeds necessary for the following year.  The water provided not only sustenance for the present but assurance for the future.  How like the Word of God.  Scripture, like rain, brings us immediate nourishment and refreshment for our present circumstances, (Psalm 19:7-10) and it also waters seeds to sustain us in the future. (Isaiah 55:10) God already sees everything coming our way, and that means He knows exactly how to begin preparing our hearts today for tomorrow.  I’ve seen this to be so true in my own life.  Recently, I was at a women's gathering where I was about to walk out and study the Bible with others. And just minutes before, I got a call that ripped my heart out of my chest. The news absolutely devastated me but I also had an assignment before me.  So I took a deep breath.  I wiped my tears.  I whispered the one shred of truth I could remember from Bible verses that had been on repeat in my mind: God is faithful. Living water for my soul. (Isaiah 55:10-11; John 7:38; John 4:13-14)  Then I turned to my friends who were with me and said, “This is what it looks like to walk in the strength of the Lord. Never forget this. He is always faithful.” I stepped into studying Scripture and was astounded by the power of the Holy Spirit that poured out.  I don’t tell you this to highlight my own strength because frankly I didn’t feel like I had much at that moment. But if you’re asking yourself, Does it really matter if I read God’s Word today? remember that storing Scripture deep in our hearts prepares us for the most unpredictable moments. The unforeseeable circumstances. The moments that take our breath away, leaving us no other option but to trust God to carry us through.  So friend, let’s open God’s Word today. Whether you feel like it or you’re not sure you can, even if it’s just one or two verses, read Scripture. And more than just reading His words, we must choose to receive them. Even more importantly, we must live them.  Because the more we apply God’s teaching to our lives, the more it becomes part of us. For today. For one day. For every day.

11
Faith / My Yes Is on the Table: From Fear to Faith
« on: June 08, 2023, 12:19:50 PM »
https://proverbs31.org/read/devotions/full-post/2022/05/11/my-yes-is-on-the-table-from-fear-to-faith?utm_campaign=Daily%20Devotions&utm_medium=email&_hsmi=211973684&_hsenc=p2ANqtz-_YUDpKCbLxREUKfoULOVdoYBi6Cfy7LV0DTyxtpsNQn27Ej1uimv33ZExKe1X6JhsgiBnVcSRGfyG0LaZZ8hN6AbxCrg&utm_content=211973684&utm_source=hs_email#disqus_thread

My Yes Is on the Table: From Fear to Faith
May 11, 2022
by Jennifer Hand

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 (ESV)

I remember when I first had the thought I want to say yes to God, but I am afraid of __________________. I had my journal, my favorite pen and a cup of coffee, of course, and was determined to write whatever answer came to mind. I didn’t want to edit the fears of my heart but rather acknowledge them.  What shocked me was there were so many answers for that fill-in-the-blank and I had thought I didn’t struggle with fear.  Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of hearing God wrong.  I wondered if I was alone, so I asked other women on social media, and the responses came pouring in: Fear of hoping in the goodness of God and the outcomes of God. Fear of not being equipped. The list could go on and on.  That’s why I love that when Joshua was about to step into the leadership journey of his lifetime, God spoke to him about fear: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go” (Joshua 1:9).

I don’t believe God was pointing His finger and condemning the fear in Joshua. God knew Joshua would be afraid, so He encouraged him with this truth: The God who created him was with him.  During that prayer time, I sensed the Lord asking me to place my yes before Him to move from “fear stops” to “faith steps.”  I pictured myself writing the word “yes” and placing it before Him. Putting my yes on the table.  Yes is a surrender, a faith step. And it takes us into the promised land God has planned for us.  Promised-land living is a life of following Him. It is obedience to Him and following the path marked out by Him.  One week, while serving as a camp counselor, I once had to sleep in the chapel’s basement due to an overcrowded camp. The seventh-grade girls and I settled into our sleeping bags and quickly realized camel crickets surrounded us.  The more of them we saw, the more the beady-eyed crickets started to look like giants. Because they began to look like giants, we forgot we were bigger than them.  When the Israelites went to spy on the promised land in Numbers 13, they saw giants in the land. Because they saw giants, they began to see themselves as grasshoppers. (Numbers 13:33) Those who had gone to spy out the land quickly forgot who had promised to give them the land.  What are the giants in your land that can make you afraid to say “yes” to God?

My fear of failure can feel like a giant. It can make me want to shrink back and hide. But as God was with Joshua, He is with me. He is with you.  The people-pleaser in me hates to go to the eye doctor. When the doctor places the gadget up to my eyes and asks me to look at the different lenses and say which is better or best, I feel he or she has an answer of which lens is supposed to make me see better.  What if I imagine God sitting in the eye doctor’s chair and asking me what I see through my lens of fear? Then what if He switched it to a lens of faith?

What if I look into His eyes and let Him see mine?

Psalm 34:5 tells me that when I look to Him I am radiant, and my face will never be put to shame. The verse right before tells me He can deliver me from all of my fears.  Today, let’s find courage by looking at Jesus and by allowing Him to switch our gaze from the lens of fear to the lens of faith.  We can say “yes” to God because we can trust God.

12
Fun, Games And Silliness / Order
« on: May 27, 2023, 07:45:36 PM »
A customer sent a large order to a distributor.  The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid so they sent a message: "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."

The next day the reply came: "Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

13
General Discussion / Fear
« on: May 27, 2023, 07:43:03 PM »
A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door. On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.  Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside.  He knew nothing except that his master was here, and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing I know my Master is there and that is enough."

14
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12053831/King-Charles-begins-historic-procession-Monarch-leaves-Buckingham-Palace.html

King prepares to take his crown: Charles kneels before Archbishop of Canterbury at Westminster Abbey and swears to serve his subjects as millions around the world tune in to witness historic Coronation

    CORONATION LIVEBLOG: Click here to follow live updates throughout today

By Martin Robinson, Chief Reporter For Mailonline

Published: 10:18, 6 May 2023 | Updated: 11:42, 6 May 2023

King prepares to take his crown: Charles kneels before Archbishop of Canterbury at Westminster Abbey and swears to serve his subjects as millions around the world tune in to witness historic Coronation

    CORONATION LIVEBLOG: Click here to follow live updates throughout today

By Martin Robinson, Chief Reporter For Mailonline

Published: 10:18, 6 May 2023 | Updated: 11:42, 6 May 2023

King Charles III and Queen Camilla are being crowned at Westminster Abbey in the historic first Coronation in 70 years today, watched by 100million people around the globe.  The monarch and his wife smiled to the congregation as they walked through the church for a Christian ceremony that dates back 1,000 years on a day dripping with glorious displays of pageantry.  After taking their thrones, Charles swore on the Bible and kissed it, having taken the oath: 'I, Charles, do solemnly and sincerely in the presence of God profess, testify, and declare that I am a faithful Protestant, and that I will, according to the true intent of the enactments which secure the Protestant succession to the throne, uphold and maintain the said enactments to the best of my powers according to law.'

His family were sat closest to him in a 2,300-strong congregation, although Prince Harry was sat in the third row, away from Prince William, his wife and children, and other working royals.  The national anthem had played and crowds shouted God Save the King as Charles took their 1.3mile journey from Buckingham Palace to the Abbey through streets lined with 2million people and 7,000 British troops.  The two-hour service, pared back from his mother's in 1953, is a pivotal moment in the history of the Royal Family will balance ancient tradition and a future in the 21st century.  In it Charles became the first monarch to pray publicly at a coronation praying for grace to be 'a blessing to all of every faith and belief', and to serve after the pattern of Christ.  A special personal prayer was written for the King to reflect the 'loving service' theme of the service, and the words were inspired in part by the popular hymn I Vow To Thee My Country.  He said: 'God of compassion and mercy whose son was sent not to be served but to serve, give grace that I may find in thy service perfect freedom and in that freedom knowledge of thy truth. Grant that I may be a blessing to all thy children, of every faith and belief, that together we may discover the ways of gentleness and be led into the paths of peace; through Jesus Christ our lord. Amen.'

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak read The Epistle Colossians 1: 9-17 to the congregation.  Lambeth Palace said that although Mr Sunak is a Hindu, he is reading as Prime Minister so there is no issue over his personal faith during the Anglican service.  Prince George and the other pages of honour were sitting behind the King in Westminster Abbey as Charles swore the coronation Oath.  George's gaze could be seen flitting about the church from his seat behind his grandfather.  The prince and his fellow pages then stood behind the kneeling Charles, holding the corners of his trailing robe, as he prayed.  The King then signed copies of the Oaths, presented by the Lord Chamberlain, while the choir sang.  At the beginning of the coronation service, a Welsh language piece was sung  with the choir, together with Sir Bryn Terfel, singing Kyrie Eleison.  As the bells of Westminster Abbey rang out, the King and Queen left the carriage. Camilla got out first followed by Charles after a short pause outside the church.  The King waved and spoke to his grandson Prince George, a future king, who was among the pages of honour. His parents the Prince and Princess of Wales entered the abbey last before the royal couple arrived.  As he arrived for the two-hour service, the Abbey's bells peeled as crowds stood in the rain cheering the arrival of the King and his wife. The entered the Abbey to state trumpeters, with the congregation standing as the royal couple entered.  Prince George was carrying a corner of his grandfather, the King's, trailing robes as the royal party made its way into Westminster Abbey.  His siblings Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis were earlier seen peering out of a car window as they arrived outside the church.  As his father was cheered through the capital, royals including Prince Harry arrived at the service. The Duke of Sussex walked up the aisle alone, smiling at people as he walked to the front of the church. He grinned at people in the congregation before he took his seat.  Stars in the Abbey included Katy Perry, Lionel Richie, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, Stephen Fry, Nick Cave and magician Dynamo, while Dame Emma Thompson gave a thumbs up in excitement. First lady Jill Biden was among the last to enter before the service, sitting with First Lady of Ukraine Olena Zelenska. President Joe Biden has stayed at home.   The Diamond Jubilee State Coach, drawn by six Windsor grey horses, arrived at Buckingham Palace for the King and Queen at 10am. Members of the Mounted Division of the Household Cavalry have lined up at the entrance to The Mall ahead of the King's Procession to Westminster Abbey.  A mile away from the Palace, Westminster Abbey was rammed with the great and good from Britain and around the world as Charles III's day of destiny finally arrived and he will be crowned King today.  More than 100million people around the world are about to watch the historic first coronation of a British monarch in 70 years with an estimated 2million people on the streets of London to watch history unfold.  Charles and Camilla waved to thousands of spectators lining the street as leading figures began to join members of the congregation in Westminster Abbey.  The Prince and Princess of Wales chatted to each other as they waited to walk into the abbey, behind their eldest son Prince George who was one of the King's pages of honour.  The couple appeared composed as they walked behind William's father, followed by their daughter Princess Charlotte and their younger son, Prince Louis.  Well-wishers near Buckingham Palace were not put off by the rain as the Diamond Jubilee State Coach passed down the Mall.  A group of royal fans dressed in Union Jacks sang 'Singing in the Rain' while the service at Westminster Abbey appeared on large screens.  Songs from the service were played out over the crowds.  People put picnic blankets on the wet floor and sat on steps as they watched cannons being carried along the Mall.  The list of 2,300 invited guests reads like a who's who of politics, showbusiness, world leaders and foreign royalty, with a sprinkling of everyday heroes and close family and friends of the King and his wife.  French President Emmanuel Macron was attending to show his 'friendship, respect and esteem' for the UK, with US singer-songwriter Lionel Richie, The Repair Shop's Jay Blades, and the Prince and Princess of Wales and their children.  The monarch smiled to huge crowds who cheered wildly and waved flags as he was swept into his central London home at 9am.  On the short journey from St James' Palace, the King, 74, looked solemn and thoughtful at times, in what is undoubtedly the biggest day of his life.  Senior members of the Royal Family arrived around 20 minutes later, including Prince Andrew, who was booed by some in the grandstand.  The monarch had been heir since the age of three, and is now ready to finally embrace his day of destiny with the woman he loves by his side. VIP guests queued for a mile from 6am to get one of the prime 2,300 seats inside. The Abbey was full at just before 9am.  It will also shine a spotlight on Britain's place on the world stage in the UK's biggest ceremonial military operation since the state funeral of Sir Winston Churchill in 1965 with 7,000 servicemen and women marching with the King and Queen.  The ceremonial route has been lined by 45 half companies from the Royal Navy, Royal Marines, British Army and Royal Airforce.  Ahead of the King setting off from Buckingham Palace, the Foot Guards of the Household Division lined the Mall, the Royal Navy lined the Admiralty Arch, the Royal Marines lined Trafalgar Square and the Royal Air Force were stationed on Whitehall and Parliament Square.  The street liners were placed at five pace intervals along the procession route with each half company comprising of one officer and 20 other ranks.  His family, including Prince Andrew and Princess Anne, enjoyed a dinner at Mayfair club Oswald's last night. Mike and Zara Tindall were out until 2am. Prince Harry flew in from Los Angeles yesterday for his 24-hour trip. It emerged last night he has been relegated to the third row in the Abbey with other non-working royals.  And on the streets of London today, including on a packed Mall, there is huge excitement among tens of thousands who have been camped out for days so they can see the extraordinary event unfold.  Approaching two million people from all corners of the UK, Commonwealth and the world are flowing into Central London, despite rain being forecast. Trains into the capital were packed this morning, with soldiers taking part in the ceremony seen flowing into mainline stations.  Guests of the King started arriving at the Abbey from 7am - four hours before the ceremony. Some 100 heads of state are in London, with representatives from 203 countries due to attend.  Inside Westminster Abbey, the church buzzed with noise as the congregation filed in and took their seats hours before the ceremony was due to start.  A rich royal blue carpet - chosen to highlight the regal red, gold and purple robes of the king and queen - adorned the dais in the coronation theatre.  Stunning flowers in reds, burgundies and yellow golds covered the top of the ornate golden High Altar.  A smiling Dean of Westminster in his vivid red clerical robe was seen hurriedly carrying the holy oil for the anointing down the length of the abbey from the altar through the quire, clutching the precious ornate silver vessel in both hands.  The longest-serving heir to the throne in British history will today be crowned at Westminster Abbey in a ceremony that is steeped in the majesty of his illustrious forebears but also embraces and emphasises the proud diversity of modern-day Britain.  'There will be all the pomp and ceremony you could dream of, but as little of the 'them and us' as possible,' one senior royal aide said last night.

King Charles III and Queen Camilla are being crowned at Westminster Abbey in the historic first Coronation in 70 years today, watched by 100million people around the globe.  The monarch and his wife smiled to the congregation as they walked through the church for a Christian ceremony that dates back 1,000 years on a day dripping with glorious displays of pageantry.  After taking their thrones, Charles swore on the Bible and kissed it, having taken the oath: 'I, Charles, do solemnly and sincerely in the presence of God profess, testify, and declare that I am a faithful Protestant, and that I will, according to the true intent of the enactments which secure the Protestant succession to the throne, uphold and maintain the said enactments to the best of my powers according to law.'

His family were sat closest to him in a 2,300-strong congregation, although Prince Harry was sat in the third row, away from Prince William, his wife and children, and other working royals.  The national anthem had played and crowds shouted God Save the King as Charles took their 1.3mile journey from Buckingham Palace to the Abbey through streets lined with 2million people and 7,000 British troops.  The two-hour service, pared back from his mother's in 1953, is a pivotal moment in the history of the Royal Family will balance ancient tradition and a future in the 21st century.  In it Charles became the first monarch to pray publicly at a coronation praying for grace to be 'a blessing to all.of every faith and belief', and to serve after the pattern of Christ.  A special personal prayer was written for the King to reflect the 'loving service' theme of the service, and the words were inspired in part by the popular hymn I Vow To Thee My Country.  He said: 'God of compassion and mercy whose son was sent not to be served but to serve, give grace that I may find in thy service perfect freedom and in that freedom knowledge of thy truth. Grant that I may be a blessing to all thy children, of every faith and belief, that together we may discover the ways of gentleness and be led into the paths of peace; through Jesus Christ our lord. Amen.'

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak read The Epistle Colossians 1: 9-17 to the congregation.  Lambeth Palace said that although Mr Sunak is a Hindu, he is reading as Prime Minister so there is no issue over his personal faith during the Anglican service.  Prince George and the other pages of honour were sitting behind the King in Westminster Abbey as Charles swore the coronation Oath.  George's gaze could be seen flitting about the church from his seat behind his grandfather.  The prince and his fellow pages then stood behind the kneeling Charles, holding the corners of his trailing robe, as he prayed.  The King then signed copies of the Oaths, presented by the Lord Chamberlain, while the choir sang.  At the beginning of the coronation service, a Welsh language piece was sung  with the choir, together with Sir Bryn Terfel, singing Kyrie Eleison.  As the bells of Westminster Abbey rang out, the King and Queen left the carriage. Camilla got out first followed by Charles after a short pause outside the church.  The King waved and spoke to his grandson Prince George, a future king, who was among the pages of honour. His parents the Prince and Princess of Wales entered the abbey last before the royal couple arrived.  As he arrived for the two-hour service, the Abbey's bells peeled as crowds stood in the rain cheering the arrival of the King and his wife. The entered the Abbey to state trumpeters, with the congregation standing as the royal couple entered.  Prince George was carrying a corner of his grandfather, the King's, trailing robes as the royal party made its way into Westminster Abbey.  His siblings Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis were earlier seen peering out of a car window as they arrived outside the church.  As his father was cheered through the capital, royals including Prince Harry arrived at the service. The Duke of Sussex walked up the aisle alone, smiling at people as he walked to the front of the church. He grinned at people in the congregation before he took his seat.  Stars in the Abbey included Katy Perry, Lionel Richie, Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, Stephen Fry, Nick Cave and magician Dynamo, while Dame Emma Thompson gave a thumbs up in excitement. First lady Jill Biden was among the last to enter before the service, sitting with First Lady of Ukraine Olena Zelenska. President Joe Biden has stayed at home.   The Diamond Jubilee State Coach, drawn by six Windsor grey horses, arrived at Buckingham Palace for the King and Queen at 10am. Members of the Mounted Division of the Household Cavalry have lined up at the entrance to The Mall ahead of the King's Procession to Westminster Abbey.  A mile away from the Palace, Westminster Abbey was rammed with the great and good from Britain and around the world as Charles III's day of destiny finally arrived and he will be crowned King today.  More than 100million people around the world are about to watch the historic first coronation of a British monarch in 70 years - with an estimated 2million people on the streets of London to watch history unfold.  Charles and Camilla waved to thousands of spectators lining the street as leading figures began to join members of the congregation in Westminster Abbey.  The Prince and Princess of Wales chatted to each other as they waited to walk into the abbey, behind their eldest son Prince George who was one of the King's pages of honour.  The couple appeared composed as they walked behind William's father, followed by their daughter Princess Charlotte and their younger son, Prince Louis.  Well-wishers near Buckingham Palace were not put off by the rain as the Diamond Jubilee State Coach passed down the Mall.  A group of royal fans dressed in Union Jacks sang 'Singing in the Rain' while the service at Westminster Abbey appeared on large screens.

Songs from the service were played out over the crowds.  People put picnic blankets on the wet floor and sat on steps as they watched cannons being carried along the Mall.  The list of 2,300 invited guests reads like a who's who of politics, showbusiness, world leaders and foreign royalty, with a sprinkling of everyday heroes and close family and friends of the King and his wife.  French President Emmanuel Macron was attending to show his 'friendship, respect and esteem' for the UK, with US singer-songwriter Lionel Richie, The Repair Shop's Jay Blades, and the Prince and Princess of Wales and their children.  The monarch smiled to huge crowds who cheered wildly and waved flags as he was swept into his central London home at 9am.   On the short journey from St James' Palace, the King, 74, looked solemn and thoughtful at times, in what is undoubtedly the biggest day of his life.  Senior members of the Royal Family arrived around 20 minutes later, including Prince Andrew, who was booed by some in the grandstand.  The monarch had been heir since the age of three, and is now ready to finally embrace his day of destiny with the woman he loves by his side. VIP guests queued for a mile from 6am to get one of the prime 2,300 seats inside. The Abbey was full at just before 9am.  It will also shine a spotlight on Britain's place on the world stage in the UK's biggest ceremonial military operation since the state funeral of Sir Winston Churchill in 1965 with 7,000 servicemen and women marching with the King and Queen.  The ceremonial route has been lined by 45 half companies from the Royal Navy, Royal Marines, British Army and Royal Airforce.  Ahead of the King setting off from Buckingham Palace, the Foot Guards of the Household Division lined the Mall, the Royal Navy lined the Admiralty Arch, the Royal Marines lined Trafalgar Square and the Royal Air Force were stationed on Whitehall and Parliament Square.  The street liners were placed at five pace intervals along the procession route with each half company comprising of one officer and 20 other ranks.  His family, including Prince Andrew and Princess Anne, enjoyed a dinner at Mayfair club Oswald's last night. Mike and Zara Tindall were out until 2am. Prince Harry flew in from Los Angeles yesterday for his 24-hour trip. It emerged last night he has been relegated to the third row in the Abbey with other non-working royals.  And on the streets of London today, including on a packed Mall, there is huge excitement among tens of thousands who have been camped out for days so they can see the extraordinary event unfold.   Approaching two million people from all corners of the UK, Commonwealth and the world are flowing into Central London, despite rain being forecast. Trains into the capital were packed this morning, with soldiers taking part in the ceremony seen flowing into mainline stations.  Guests of the King started arriving at the Abbey from 7am four hours before the ceremony. Some 100 heads of state are in London, with representatives from 203 countries due to attend.  Inside Westminster Abbey, the church buzzed with noise as the congregation filed in and took their seats hours before the ceremony was due to start.  A rich royal blue carpet - chosen to highlight the regal red, gold and purple robes of the king and queen adorned the dais in the coronation theatre.  Stunning flowers in reds, burgundies and yellow golds covered the top of the ornate golden High Altar.  A smiling Dean of Westminster in his vivid red clerical robe was seen hurriedly carrying the holy oil for the anointing down the length of the abbey from the altar through the quire, clutching the precious ornate silver vessel in both hands.  The longest-serving heir to the throne in British history will today be crowned at Westminster Abbey in a ceremony that is steeped in the majesty of his illustrious forebears but also embraces and emphasises the proud diversity of modern-day Britain.  'There will be all the pomp and ceremony you could dream of, but as little of the 'them and us' as possible,' one senior royal aide said last night.   

Crowned alongside the King, 74, will be his wife of 18 years and his love for much, much longer.  The once unthinkable has become a reality, and from today the former Camilla Parker Bowles will be known as Queen Camilla as she is anointed and has Queen Mary's Crown placed upon her head.  Yesterday the 75-year-old Queen Consort made only a brief public appearance as she attended a final rehearsal at the Abbey with her husband in the morning. She chose not to attend any of the other public engagements by his side, preferring to 'pace herself' and also ensure 'the day was about her husband', sources said.

'She loves him unconditionally and always wants him to shine,' a friend said.

Last night the couple retired to enjoy a private dinner at their London home, Clarence House.  'The calm before the storm perhaps metaphorically as well as literally', a friend said with a nod to the dismal weather forecast, something the new King and Queen's celebrations have in common with the late Queen's Coronation in 1953.

It came as:

     Prime Minister Rishi Sunak hailed the Coronation as a 'moment of extraordinary national pride';
     The Archbishop of Canterbury, who will anoint and crown the couple today, predicted that people will be 'struck by the majesty and sacred wonder of the service';
     The King, accompanied by his son and daughter-in-law the Prince and Princess of Wales, shocked and delighted well-wishers camping out along The Mall with an impromptu walkabout yesterday;
     A relaxed-looking Charles smiled broadly and threw his hands in the air when he was asked if he was feeling the strain, telling one fan: 'It's people like you that count';
     Kate said she and her children were 'excited but nervous' and she even spoke on the phone to a fan's aunt in Tennessee who was unable to fly over after breaking her leg;
     The King and his family entertained dignitaries and world leaders at a series of events, including a glittering reception at Buckingham Palace last night for overseas VIP guests including King Felipe and Queen Letizia of Spain, the Sultan of Brunei, Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark, and the King and Queen of Jordan;
     Prince Harry was expected to arrive in the UK ahead of his 'blink and you'll miss it' appearance at the Coronation ceremony, but there are no plans for him to feature in any of the private family celebrations or official portraits;
     Forecasters warned the weather for today looks unsettled, with heavy rain predicted at times, which could threaten the planned 60-aircraft flypast over Buckingham Palace.

Today's Coronation will see 7,000 servicemen and women accompanying Their Majesties, making it the country's biggest ceremonial event since 1953.  By 7.30am, there were thousands of people lining Whitehall with flags and wearing Union Jack hats.  One enthusiastic member of the crowd is Helen Mutlu, 54, a food business owner from Clevedon, who is in London with her grandson Theo.  She said: 'This country can't run without royalty behind it. I've been to everything I can, I've supported the Queen at Trooping the Colour every year.  I was so upset and cried and mourned for the Queen for months and I've only just got over that.'

She added: 'My husband complains about my memorabilia all the time. I have a life-size stand-up of the Queen in my lounge my husband doesn't like that, he says it's too big!'

Of the Republic protestors, Mrs Mutlu said: 'Absolute lunatics. Just look at other countries with presidents, they haven't got any organisation.'

Indeed, the Coronation procession back from the Abbey after the ceremony is so large that when the King and Queen arrive at Buckingham Palace, the rear will only have reached Downing Street, a mile away.  The 2,300-strong congregation will include representatives of 39 Commonwealth nations and 100 heads of state, as well as many hundreds of ordinary citizens who have selflessly served their country and communities in a stark divergence from Queen Elizabeth's Establishment-heavy Coronation of 1953. Peers have been replaced in key roles with people of a range of faiths and creeds to emphasise the country's diversity and religious tolerance, as well as women bishops and charity and military representatives.  Inside the historic place of worship, the King will, for the first time, recite a specially written public prayer and pledge his allegiance to his people as he is invested with the glittering regalia of the Crown Jewels, which normally reside in the Tower of London.  The moment of his anointing will take place behind a three-sided screen to preserve the moment of solemnity between him and God.  Prince William, who was yesterday seen at rehearsals wearing his Order of the Garter robe, will kneel and pledge allegiance to his father, before Charles has the St Edward's Crown placed on his head by the Archbishop of Canterbury and the spine-tingling cry of 'God Save The King' rings out.

The King and Camilla who will arrive without their crowns as a sign of humility will depart in the 261-year-old Gold State Coach, wearing the Imperial State Crown and Queen Mary's Crown.  The Princess Royal will ride on horseback behind Charles and Camilla in her role as Gold Stick in Waiting and Colonel of the Blues and Royals.  In the first carriage behind the Gold State Coach will be the Prince and Princess of Wales with George, nine, Charlotte, eight, and Louis, five. The next carriage will contain the King's youngest brother, the Duke of Edinburgh, with his wife the Duchess of Edinburgh and their two children.  The late Queen's cousin the Duke of Gloucester and his wife the Duchess of Gloucester, and Anne's husband Vice Admiral Sir Tim Laurence will travel in the third carriage. Following by car will be the Duke of Kent and Princess Alexandra, also cousins of Elizabeth II. There is no place in the procession for the Duke of Sussex and the Duke of York who play no formal part in the Coronation ceremony nor for Andrew's daughters, Beatrice and Eugenie.  Shortly before 2.30pm, the King and his family will make their first appearance on the balcony of Buckingham Palace to greet thousands of well-wishers before a six-minute fly-past involving 60 aircraft including the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight and the Red Arrows, weather permitting.  While monarchs have historically held lavish state banquets, the family will then retire for a 'running buffet lunch' and nothing more exotic than a 'nice cup of tea' while they have their official portraits taken in the Throne Room and Green Drawing Room.  It has been suggested that the family may make another appearance later. Tomorrow, members of the Royal Family will join 'Big Lunches' across the country as communities come together to celebrate the occasion, before the Coronation Concert at Windsor Castle in the evening, with headline acts including Lionel Richie and a spectacular lighting up of the nation using light displays, lasers and drones.  The Coronation bank holiday weekend will conclude on Monday with The Big Help Out, when members of the Royal Family will join volunteers working with local community organisations as part of an initiative to create a lasting legacy from the celebrations. Charles and Camilla, however, will leave for their Sandringham estate in Norfolk for a well-earned break.  The Duke of Norfolk, who is organising the ceremony, said: 'The Coronation is an opportunity to bring our great nation, the realms and the Commonwealth closer together, plugging into the power of the past and promoting our shared values to the wider world with all that we have to offer.'

Mr Sunak said the weekend would be a chance to reflect on the 'enduring nature of monarchy' and urged the nation to celebrate its history and culture.  The Prime Minister added: 'Let's celebrate this weekend with pride in who we are and what we stand for. Let's look to the future with hope and optimism. And let's make new memories, so we can tell our grandchildren of the day we came together to sing God Save The King.'

Will you be watching for a glint from the world's biggest diamond? Will Louis steal the show, or the pages? Discover what happens and when on a day that will go down in history in ROBERT HARDMAN's step-by-step guide to King Charles III's Coronation

Some will be looking out for the tiniest glimpse of the anointing (good luck with that) or the glint of the Great Star of Africa, the world's largest diamond, in the head of the Sceptre.  Historians and theologians won't know where to start. Royal-watchers will be waiting to see who steals the show. Prince Harry?

Prince Louis?

The page boys?

And then there is the music.  Everyone, surely, will be waiting for that extraordinary moment when St Edward's Crown is lowered and the cry echoes around the Abbey: 'God save the King!'

However you may be intending to watch, it will be a day we remember for a long time. But what to look out for and when?

5am-6am

Anyone wanting to watch the procession with their own eyes will find that the best positions in Central London were taken by hardy campers who have been lining The Mall for days. The authorities are asking people not to arrive on the day before 6am, when viewing areas will open along the route. Steel gates control access to the processional area.  When the police decide the area is full, the gates will shut and people will be redirected to six public viewing areas, in Green Park, St James's Park and Hyde Park. There are 57 all over Britain.

6am-7am

The first guests will already be making their way to Westminster Abbey, ready for the 7.15am opening of extensive ticket and security checks. If you are coming by Tube (St James's Park is shut all day), listen out for an unusual 'Mind the Gap' message recorded by the King.

7am-8am

The 2,200 ticketed guests will already be filling the Abbey. At 7.30am, BBC1 viewers will join Kirsty Young for the start of seven-and-a-half hours of non-stop coverage on both BBC1 and BBC2 (the latter with sign language).

8am-9am

The last non-VIP guests will be taking their seats, even though there are still hours to go before the service begins. All regular guests have been told to be seated by 9am.  Viewers will recognise some of the personal guests such as Ant and Dec or Lionel Richie, as well as the county representatives, the Lord-Lieutenants and a small cluster of MPs and peers drawn by lottery (with 50 seats for each chamber and no plus ones).   At 8.30am, ITV viewers will join Tom Bradby and Julie Etchingham. Those along the route will effectively be locked in position as the processional route is declared 'sterile' from 9am onwards.

9am-10am

Street-lining troops are now taking up their positions and will all be in place by 9.40am. From 9.30am, TV viewers will start to see heads of state, prime ministers (and British former prime ministers) and junior foreign royalty take their seats.   Huw Edwards will be the BBC's commentator inside the Abbey. 'Very limited toilet facilities' inside will shut at 10am and will not reopen until 1.30pm.

10am-11am

By now, everyone will be glued to the royal arrivals, especially that of the Dukes of Sussex and York. Last into the Abbey before Their Majesties will be the Prince and Princess of Wales with their two younger children. As a page to the King, Prince George will be lining up separately.  At precisely 10.20am, the King and Queen will set off for the Abbey in the Diamond Jubilee State Coach. The newest addition to the Royal Mews, it is a masterpiece of engineering by Australian coachmaker Jim Frecklington.  It is a travelling museum of our history, with everything from fragments of the Stone of Destiny to slivers of the climber's ladder which helped the conquerors of Everest to the summit in 1953.  The crown on top is from HMS Victory and conceals a hidden 'coachcam' for a CCTV camera.  The journey to the Abbey, called the King's Procession, will progress at a walk, with a much smaller following than the great cavalcade which follows later in the day. This is a reflection of the monarch arriving in humility, with the grandeur and splendour yet to come.  Clare Balding will take over the BBC commentary. At 10.53am precisely the coach arrives at the Abbey and the King and Queen Consort emerge to line up for the royal procession, assisted by their pages who will help carry their robes of state.

11am-12 noon

The service opens with the traditional sound of the scholars of Westminster School, high in the triforium, shouting/singing 'Vivat Rex' and 'Vivat Regina'. For the first time, they include female voices since the school now has a co-educational sixth-form.  We hear the soaring I Was Glad by Sir Hubert Parry (one of the King's favourite composers) as the vast procession streams through the Abbey. Britain old and new is here in force. Following the junior heralds (pursuivants) in their tabards, come the orders of chivalry and gallantry.  Next come the quarterings of the Royal Arms (look out for the young Duke of Westminster in this bit) and the Royal Standard, carried by Francis Dymoke, the Hereditary King's Champion, whose family have been part of every coronation since William the Conqueror.  Next up come the clergy, the heralds and the procession of the regalia. The latter has virtually emptied the Jewel House of the Tower of London.  Its keeper, Brigadier Andrew Jackson, carries the ring, perhaps the smallest element in a priceless parade of crowns, sceptres, swords, armills and spurs.  The Great Officers of State are all here and, for the first time, a woman will be among them: Penny Mordaunt, Lord President of the Council and bearer of the Sword of State. Here too are women bishops, officiating at a Coronation for the first time.  The King reaches his Chair of Estate, the first of three thrones he will use during the service. And the first voice we hear will be that of a child.  Chorister Sam Strachan of the Choir of the Chapel Royal will welcome the King on behalf of everyone, to which the King replies: 'I come not to be served but to serve.' It is one of a few new elements introduced to a service rooted in rituals laid down in the 10th and 14th centuries, plus elements of the Old Testament.  The service then follows the time-honoured rituals of the Recognition and the Oath. Listen out for an additional oath promising an 'environment in which people of all faiths and beliefs may live freely' articulating the King's long-held view that a monarch should be a defender of 'faiths'.  A lesson read by Prime Minister Rishi Sunak is followed by something we have not seen at a Coronation for many reigns: a sermon by the Archbishop of Canterbury.

12 noon-1pm

Depending on the length of Justin Welby's address, we will be hitting the great anointing moment at around noon. By now, the King has moved to his second and principal - Throne, St Edward's Chair, facing the altar. Here is the one part of the entire proceedings off-limits to everyone, even members of the Royal Family.  Soldiers from each regiment of the Household Division step forward carrying a special screen embroidered with the names of every country of the Commonwealth to shield the moment when the Archbishop dabs holy oil on the King's head, chest and arms. This is a moment between the King and the Almighty.  Next, comes the investiture as members of different communities and Christian denominations present the King with the regalia, piece by piece.  Finally, the moment has come. Addressing the ultimate monarch, 'King of Kings, Lord of Lords', the Archbishop lifts up St Edward's Crown and crowns Charles III.  The Abbey erupts with God Save The King. From Horse Guards to the Tower of London, to saluting stations around the nation, in Gibraltar and on ships at sea, 21-gun salutes will be fired simultaneously. The bells of the Abbey ring.   The King is then enthroned, moving to his third seat of the day, the Throne Chair. Here, he receives a much-shortened homage just the Archbishop and the Prince of Wales.  At which point, we are all invited to join in. This is the bit that has aroused hours of needless squawking. If you don't want to pledge allegiance in front of family and friends, make a cup of tea.  Next comes the anointing of Queen Camilla a scaled-back version but one which will be on camera and her crowning. Listen out for Andrew Lloyd Webber's magnificent new anthem, Make A Joyful Noise. The couple then retire backstage to the Chapel of St Edward to remove their crowns for Holy Communion.  Finally, they retire again and emerge in their Robes of Estate. Look for all the gold embroidered gardening imagery on the Queen's train.  Royal Kremlinologists will now be scanning the rear of the royal party for any signs of a rapprochement as the Duke of Sussex walks down the aisle before heading for home.

1pm-2pm

Coronation Procession time. The Gold State Coach, the gilded Georgian Cinderella-style monster, is at the Great West Door.  The Waleses, their children and the other working members of the family climb into three carriages behind minus the Princess Royal. She will be on her horse with the other Household Division colonels.  At the moment the King and Queen start moving, the front of the parade will already be at the top of The Mall.  With every unit of the three Services, every Commonwealth realm and almost every Commonwealth nation represented, this procession will be a collector's item.  Made up of eight groups, it features no less than 19 bands. The coach is expected at Buckingham Palace at 1.45pm, at which point the King and Queen proceed through to the West Terrace overlooking the lawn.  The entire parade, on reaching the Palace, will have formed up here for a royal salute.

2pm-3pm

The King and Queen must make haste for the opposite side of the Palace and the mandatory East Front balcony appearance still, we hope, in robes and crowns. That wing of the Palace is still a building site so they will need to tread warily. Shortly before 2.30pm, expect to see the curtain flicker and the door open. Out will come the royal party. The royal anoraks will be scrutinising the line-up to see who makes an appearance.  Finally weather depending it is the turn of the airborne arms of all three services, especially the RAF, led by three Juno helicopters and four more waves of rotary aircraft. Expect great excitement from the Wales children as Daddy's old colleagues come by.  Next come the fixed-wing brigade led by the Battle of Britain Memorial Flight the mighty Lancaster and a pair of Spitfires and Hurricanes.  The fastest come last followed, of course, by the Red Arrows and their red, white and blue smoke. A final crowning moment to a truly crowning day.

Coronation order of service: Full list of hymns, music, prayers and readings revealed

The Procession of The King and Queen

Following the choir, religious and Commonwealth leaders, Their Majesties will enter Westminster Abbey to the anthem I Was Glad, a version of Psalm 122 set to music by Sir Hubert Parry, the composer of Jerusalem. Parry's setting contains the cry 'Vivat Rex!' (Long Live the King!) which will be proclaimed by scholars from Westminster School.

A Moment of Silent Prayer

The Royal Couple take a moment to reflect and pay homage to God.

Greeting and Introduction

The Archbishop of Canterbury welcomes the congregation with a blessing.

The Recognition

This is the first element of the traditional English Coronation Rite in which the congregation affirms support for the King by exclaiming: 'God Save King Charles.'

The Presentation of the Holy Bible

A copy of the Bible is gifted to the King, symbolically setting the 'word of God' above all human laws. The Moderator of the General Assembly of the Church of Scotland will tell the King: 'Here is Wisdom; This is the royal Law; These are the lively Oracles of God.' This tradition dates back to the Coronation of William III and Mary II in 1689.

The Oaths

The Oaths are vows to support people of all faiths and beliefs. The Archbishop asks Charles III if he is willing to take the Oaths and to 'promise and swear to govern', to which the King will reply: 'I solemnly promise so to do.'

The King's Prayer

The Monarch offers a specially composed prayer which draws inspiration from Galatians 5 and the much-loved hymn, I Vow To Thee My Country.

Collect

Another prayer, written especially for the Coronation, addressing the theme of loving service.

The Epistle

Colossians 1 9:17

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak will read from the first chapter of the Epistle (which translates as 'letter') to the Colossians.

Gospel

Luke 4:16-21

The Gospel derived from the Greek for 'Good News' is St Luke's account of Jesus at worship in the synagogue.

Sermon

This is an opportunity for The Archbishop to place the ceremony within a broader religious context, and explain how the themes of the celebration relate to both the public and the monarch.

The Anointing

As The King prepares to be anointed upon the Coronation Chair, he removes the Robes of State signifying his humility in front of God.  The Archbishop will anoint The King on his hands, breast and head. This sacred part of the ceremony will be held behind a screen and is not broadcast on TV.  Meanwhile, the choir sing Handel's anthem Zadok The Priest, which he composed for the Coronation of George II in 1727.  It has been sung prior to the anointing of the sovereign at the coronation of every British monarch since then.

The Presentation of Regalia

Peers from the House of Lords and senior Anglican bishops will present various symbols of royalty. Non-Christian peers will present regalia which does not bear explicit Christian motifs, affirming the different faiths that will serve under the King.

The Orb

A representation of Sovereign power, the Orb is placed in The King's palm.

The Ring

Similarly to rings exchanged during a marriage ceremony, the Coronation Ring is a symbol of the monarch's promise and commitment to God. The Archbishop will tell King Charles that the ring represents 'the covenant sworn on this day between God and King, King and people'.

The Sceptre and Rod

Another piece of regalia loaded with significance, the Sceptre represents temporal power and authority. The Rod of Equity and Mercy represents the Monarch's spiritual role and his pastoral care of the people.

The Crowning

Made of solid gold and set with precious stones, St Edward's Crown (made in 1661) represents the King's vocation before God, and is a reminder of the promises and vows he has made to the people.  As he crowns the King, the Archbishop will lead the congregation in declaring 'God Save the King!' a loyal exclamation that has been part of the Coronation ritual since 1689.

Fanfare

Richard Strauss's famous Vienna Philharmonic Fanfare will follow the crowning and then the Abbey bells will ring for two minutes, followed by a Gun Salute fired by The King's Troop Royal Horse Artillery as well as all Saluting Stations throughout the Kingdom, including in Bermuda, Gibraltar and on ships at sea.

The Blessing

The Archbishop and other Christian leaders will deliver the blessing. It is the first time the Blessing has been shared by clergy from different denominations a reflection of Britain's ecumenical progress.

Enthroning The King

The King is settled on the throne while the Archbishop commands him to 'stand firm, and hold fast from henceforth this seat of royal dignity, which is yours by the authority of Almighty God' phrasing which dates back to the coronation of King Edgar in 959.

Homage

The Church of England, followed by Prince William, pays homage to the King. This is then followed by a new tradition: the opportunity for the public to swear their 'true allegiance' to the Monarch and his heirs. A chorus of millions will participate from members of the congregation and subjects in the streets outside to people up and down the country in this solemn and joyful moment.

Coronation of the Queen

In a shorter sequence to that of the King, Queen Camilla has her own Coronation, which begins with a brief anointing. The last sovereign consort to be crowned was the late Queen Mother in 1937. It is an honour that is bestowed only on female consorts, and therefore His Late Royal Highness Prince Philip had no such ceremony.

The Crowning

Queen Mary's Crown is placed upon her head. The crown has been embellished with jewels from her Late Majesty's personal collection, including the Cullinan III, IV and V diamonds.

Enthroning The Queen

Camilla is seated beside the King, symbolising their joint vocation before God. A significant moment of music comes next, as the choir will sing Andrew Lloyd Webber's coronation anthem, Make A Joyful Noise as the King and Queen are united in their joint vocation. This setting of verses from Psalm 98 was commissioned for this service.

Offertory Hymn

Gifts of bread and wine are brought before the King.

Eucharistic Prayer

This prayer recalls the words of Jesus at the Last Supper.

Sanctus

With words dating to the fifth century, the Sanctus will be sung to music composed by Roxanna Panufnik, a British composer of Polish heritage, one of the King's 12 commissions for the Coronation.

The Lord's Prayer

The Archbishop will invite everyone to join him in prayer, wherever they may be, in whichever language they wish. The Our Father was Jesus's gift to his followers when they asked how they should pray.

Prayer after Communion

Taken from the Book Of Common Prayer, this prayer asks God to direct us in His holy ways.

The Final Blessing

The Archbishop of Canterbury leads a final blessing, praying: 'Christ our King, make you faithful and strong to do his will, that you may reign with him in glory'.

Te Deum

This Latin hymn dates back to the 4th Century and is sometimes called The Hymn Of The Church. It is sung as Their Majesties go to St Edward's Chapel to be vested in the Robes of Estate and Charles puts on the Imperial State Crown.  The term 'Imperial State Crown' dates back to the 15th century, when English monarchs chose a crown design closed by arches to demonstrate that England was not subject to any other earthly power.

The National Anthem

God Save The King has been the national anthem for more than 250 years. It is both song and prayer, calling on God to protect the Sovereign and ensure their wise rule. The eponymous phrase is far older than the song, appearing several times in the King James Bible.

Greeting of faith leaders, representatives and the governor generals

In an unprecedented gesture marking the significance of the religious diversity of the Realms, the Sovereign will spend his final moments in the Abbey receiving a greeting from the leaders and representatives from the major non-Christian faith traditions: Jewish, Hindu, Sikh, Muslim and Buddhist.  In a historic first, the complete coronation will be recorded and released as an album on the very day of the ceremony.

Crowning moments

The award for the most ostentatious gown surely goes to Queen Caroline, wife of George II, whose dress for the 1727 Coronation was so encrusted with jewels a pulley had to be designed to hold up the skirt so she could kneel down to be crowned.

Crowning moments

The monarch with the most illegitimate children at his Coronation was William IV, who invited four of his ten children by the actress Mrs Jordan.  William, who was 64, declared he wanted his 1831 Coronation to be a cut-price event.  It was called a 'half-crown ceremony' by his enemies, although it cost £2 million in today's money.

Crowning moments

Elizabeth II went to her Coronation in the Golden State Coach, but in 1761 the 22-year-old George III and 17-year-old Queen Charlotte were carried to the Abbey in sedan chairs.  At that ceremony, the Archbishop of Canterbury's sermon was almost inaudible because the congregation were opening bottles of wine and eating.

Crowning moments

Mary Tudor was the first woman to be crowned Queen in her own right.  She was accompanied into the Abbey on October 1, 1553, by her only living stepmother, Anne of Cleves, and her half-sister Elizabeth.  For her procession to the Abbey she wore a gown made out of gold and silver thread.

15
Faith / What Good Is Grief?
« on: April 26, 2023, 11:42:43 AM »
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What Good Is Grief?
March 31, 2022
by Jodi Harris

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Matthew 5:4 (NIV)

It was early fall when I pushed my nearly empty shopping cart through my favorite superstore, grabbing a handful of groceries. I eyed the tiny, pumpkin-themed newborn clothes and the brightly colored board books, remembering days long gone when my boys were littles.  There I stood, with some coffee creamer and laundry detergent in the otherwise empty cart that somehow represented my empty heart. I wanted to scoop up all things tiny, curl up in the baby section and gently rock myself in the fetal position until someone called security. Nothing prepares a mama for the empty-nest season of life. And the superstore had no sympathy.  Ten months before, the new year had brought an unexpected move away from our two college-aged sons, and those tiny infant clothes brought fresh waves of sadness and sorrow, reminding me of grief I didn’t want to feel.  It wasn’t supposed to be this way. I wasn’t ready to let them go. And no one had told me it would hurt this bad. That first night away in the hotel, I lay in bed bawling, begging God to please let us go home. To please put my family back together. My wailing exhausted me as I settled into sleep.  The year 2020 brought loss for many, and how hopeful we were to turn the calendar page to 2021, anticipating hope of new beginnings and healing. But many of us suffered even more heartache as days rolled into months.  I don’t do grief well. I do my best to avoid pain that threatens to swallow me whole if just one tear slips down my cheek. I want to bury it deep and look on the bright side of things. To consider the goodness of God in healthy checkups, daily provisions and warm beds. But if the goodness of God dwells only in those things, why are the most joyful people I know the ones who have suffered the greatest loss?

Could loss have something to teach me about His goodness, too, if only I am willing to pause and consider this grief that gathers in my chest?

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)

Blessed?

The word “blessed” in our key verse means favored by God. Nothing about grief and loss makes me feel divinely favored. Instead, I wonder what I’ve done to deserve such pain.  And what about comfort?

I pause and reflect on the nights I’ve surrendered to my tears, allowing grief to break me open and empty me out. I’m reminded it was then that God rushed in to fill me with more of Himself.  On those nights, He picked me up and swaddled me tightly as I wept and wailed. He sang over me in my darkness while I kicked and screamed like a colicky infant who refuses sleep.  But until we surrender to the struggle, relax into rest and settle into the sovereign way of God, we cannot heal. In my season of suffering, I didn’t know this yet.  Over time, my soul softened sooner during these bouts of grief, and it was then I began to experience God’s goodness and deep comfort.  When we give space to grief, it becomes the doorway to deeper fellowship with Him, an invitation into a most holy place saturated with His love, peace and compassion. Grief awakens a hunger for heaven, where all will be made right.  And maybe most beautifully of all, grief leads us to the heart of God, where we find not only His comfort and healing but His very presence.

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