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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-8012367/Ruth-Langsford-breaks-tears-recalls-sisters-suicide.html

'You believe you don't have a choice and that's the sad thing for people left behind': Ruth Langsford breaks down in tears on This Morning as she recalls her sister's suicide after Caroline Flack's death

    Ruth's sister Julia Johnson, 62, who had battled depression for years, was found dead by her husband Paul at their home in Lingfield, Surrey in June 2019
    Love Island presenter Caroline Flack took her own life at her home in Stoke Newington, London on Saturday
    Telling viewers that 'this happened in my family,' Ruth tearfully explained what it was like for a family member left behind after a suicide
    Ruth's husband and co-presenter Eamonn Holmes stepped in, reminding audiences that the show's phone in would focus on depression and anxiety
    If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org

By Joanna Crawley For Mailonline

Published: 11:55, 17 February 2020 | Updated: 13:14, 17 February 2020

Ruth Langsford spoke out on her sister's suicide during an emotional segment on Monday's episode of This Morning.  The ITV presenter broke down in tears as the show discussed Caroline Flack's death over the weekend.  Telling viewers that 'this happened in my family,' Ruth tearfully explained what it was like for a family member left behind after a suicide.

Ruth's sister Julia Johnson, 62, who had battled depression for years, was found dead by her husband Paul at their home in Lingfield, Surrey in June 2019.  At the time, the ITV host, 59, told viewers her sister had died 'after a long illness', with an inquest later ruling she had died by suicide.  Devastated, Ruth was unable to go to work that week and two months later she left the This Morning studio in tears unable to continue with a phone-in on anxiety and depression.  Speaking to psychologist Emma Kenny on Monday's This Morning, Ruth spoke in public about her sister's suicide for the first time, explaining: 'This happened in my family. I remember my shock at that. It's the questions it leaves the families'.

She continued with a list of questions family members may have: 'I should have gone round. I should have phoned. I was going to go round. I was going to phone. Maybe I should have stayed longer,' she said.

She added: 'You are left with the 'what ifs'. It's her family now that I think will need so much help.'

Later Ruth broke down in tears during a discussion about Caroline with actress Nicola Thorp and Mathew Wright.  'You believe you don't have a choice, that's the sad thing and that's the sad thing for people left behind who say, "So many people loved you, you did have a choice, you could have called me, you could have called mum..."' Ruth said before she was unable to continue.   

Ruth's husband and co-presenter Eamonn Holmes stepped in, reminding audiences that the show's phone would focus on depression and anxiety.  Sharing a photo alongside Julia last year, Ruth told her Instagram followers: 'My lovely Sis Julia has sadly died after a very long illness. My heart is completely broken.'

Love Island presenter Caroline died on Saturday at her new flat in Stoke Newington, London, hours after she was told she would face trial over the alleged assault of boyfriend Lewis Burton last year - while the producer friend who was staying with her went to the shops.  ITV cancelled scheduled Love Island episodes over the weekend but said the show would return tonight with a tribute to Caroline, who presented five series before stepping back following her arrest.  Ruth's husband Eamonn Holmes paid tribute to Caroline on Saturday, while insisting there needs to be 'repercussions.'  He wrote on Twitter: 'Caroline Flack.  Dear God. Shocked beyond belief. May she have found peace. #Rip Has to be repercussions for Love Island now surely?' which garnered more than 27K likes.

Eamonn later added: 'Meaning out of respect, can the series continue?' (sic)

Caroline is the third Love Island star to have died in the last two years after former contestants Mike Thalassitis and Sophie Gradon, took their own lives in March 2019 and June 2018.  It emerged on Sunday that paramedics were scrambled to Flack's north London home the day before she killed herself - but didn't take her to hospital after a clinical assessment.  Sources told MailOnline that ambulance crews were sent to the former Love Island presenter's Stoke Newington flat over 'concerns for her welfare', but decided against taking her to hospital after checking her over.  Caroline took her own life after a worried friend who was staying with her went to the shops, leaving her alone at her London flat.  The producer friend couldn't get back into the flat when she returned. She called Flack's father Ian who gained entry to the flat where he found the star's body.  Her management team has since described her as 'vulnerable' and criticised the CPS for pushing ahead with a pending court case despite her boyfriend Lewis Burton saying he did not want to press charges.  He had said she hit him with a lamp at her former home in Islington in December and as part of her bail conditions the pair were banned from contacting each other.  On Sunday Lewis shared a picture of the couple on holiday together on Instagram this morning, saying his 'heart is broken' and promising to 'be her voice'.  If you have been affected by this story, you can call the Samaritans on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org

CAROLINE FLACK: A CALL FOR HELP?
 
Caroline Flack spoke often about her struggles, both in interviews and on social media.

STRICTLY CURSE?

The Strictly Come Dancing 2014 winner has said that she felt depressed following her victory on the BBC show.  After she won the series along with professional partner Pasha Kovalev, she admitted that she felt like she was 'being held together by a piece of string which could snap at any time'.

In an unearthed interview cited by the Daily Star following her death, Caroline claimed that 'It all started the day after I won Strictly. I woke up and felt like somebody had covered my body in clingfilm. I couldn't get up and just couldn't pick myself up at all that next year.'

She went on: 'People see the celebrity lifestyle and assume everything is perfect, but we're just like everyone else. Everyone is battling something emotional behind closed doors that's life.  Fame doesn't make you happy.'

'BEING A BURDEN IS MY BIGGEST FEAR'

In an Instagram post, she uploaded on 14 October 2019 to mark World Mental Health Day Caroline captioned a photo of herself: 'Some days it’s hard to write your feelings of your not in the right place.  The last few weeks I’ve been in a really weird place I find it hard to talk about it I guess it’s anxiety and pressure of life and when I actually reached out to someone they said I was draining.  I feel like this is why some people keep their emotions to themselves. I certainly hate talking about my feelings. And being a burden is my biggest fear.  I’m lucky to be able to pick myself up when things feel s**t. But what happens if someone can’t. Be nice to people. You never know what’s going on. Ever.' [sic]

SOCIAL SILENCE

Caroline was told to stay off social media following her assault charge in December 2019.  However, she notably liked a string of tweets in the days afterward, before Christmas, encouraging those feeling lonely over the holidays to seek help.  The tweets posted by the likes of actress Sheridan Smith, journalist Stacey Dooley and comedian Luke Kempner included the telephone number for The Samaritans' suicide hotline.  She also posted to Instagram around the same time: 'This kind of scrutiny and speculation is a lot to take on for one person to take on their own.  I’m a human being at the end of the day and I’m not going to be silenced when I have a story to tell and a life to keep going with.  I’m taking some time out to get feeling better and learn some lessons from situations I’ve got myself into. I have nothing but love to give and best wishes to everyone.'

SELF-HELP?

It was reported that Caroline had decided to write a book, during her recent time off.  'Caroline has found the process incredibly cathartic,' one of her friends told the Mail. 'She wants it to be more than just a story about her. She wants to talk about the problems she’s encountered and how she’s overcome them.  She hopes to be able to help others who may be going through similar difficulties. Part self-help, the part memoir is the style that Caroline is looking for.'

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https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/harrowing-stories-burned-out-nhs-21487129?utm_source=mirror_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=EM_Mirror_Nletter_DailyNews_News_mediumteaser_Image_Story&utm_campaign=daily_newsletter

Harrowing stories of burned out NHS doctors bullied and broken in a decade of Tory cuts

EXCLUSIVE: A Mirror investigation uncovered heartbreaking stories of young medics being denied drinking water during gruelling shifts and of uncaring managers tearing into them for breaking down in tears over the deaths of patients

By Martin Bagot Health and Science editor

22:49, 12 FEB 2020 Updated22:51, 12 FEB 2020

Dedicated to caring for the sick and vulnerable, junior ­doctors should expect to be ­supported and valued as they carry out their vital work.  But hundreds have revealed they are subjected to bullying and harassment at overstretched hospitals that have been plunged into a staffing crisis by a decade of savage Tory health cuts.  A Mirror investigation uncovered harrowing stories of young medics being denied drinking water during gruelling shifts, working for 15 hours on their feet non-stop and of uncaring managers tearing into them for breaking down in tears over the deaths of patients.  One was even accused of “stealing” surgical scrubs she took to wear after suffering a miscarriage at work.  The distraught woman finished her shift wearing blood-soaked trousers, instead of going home to rest.  Another got told off for merely splashing water over her face after losing a patient.  Doctors are now quitting in their droves, leaving those left ­struggling to cope with a growing ­workload.  Our probe reveals the reality of working for an NHS which has been subject to a record funding squeeze and is 8,000 medics short.  Health chiefs vowed to ­investigate the Mirror’s evidence from 602 ­testimonials submitted to grassroots lobbying group Doctors Association UK.    Doctors are now quitting in their droves, leaving those left ­struggling to cope with a growing ­workload.  Our probe reveals the reality of working for an NHS which has been subject to a record funding squeeze and is 8,000 medics short.  Health chiefs vowed to ­investigate the Mirror’s evidence from 602 ­testimonials submitted to grassroots lobbying group Doctors Association UK.  Anonymous  "I’d suffered recurrent miscarriages and one day it happened at work, I’d only found out I was pregnant the week before.  I wasn’t allowed to go home as we were already short-staffed.  I went to borrow some scrubs as I had bled through my trousers and was “caught” in the changing room and asked if I was a surgeon.  I said I was a medical doctor but was told off for “stealing scrubs”.  I explained what had happened and couldn’t help but get tearful. I was told that was “no excuse”. I worked for the rest of my shift in my trousers."

Chairman Dr. Rinesh Parmar said: “These heartbreaking stories from across the country show the extent of bullying and harassment that frontline doctors face whilst working to care for patients.  Heartbreaking examples of being denied access to water after the tragic loss of a patient reveal how ­heartless and inhumane conditions can be.  It is easy to see why the goodwill that the NHS relies upon has truly run dry.  Doctors have spoken in their droves of being denied access to drinks, being accused of theft for eating a biscuit even though they’ve forgone breaks and this may be the only thing they eat or drink all day.  A learned helplessness cannot be allowed to develop, it is vital that our doctors, the very backbone of our NHS are respected and looked after so that they’re at their very best when caring for patients.”

Dr. Louis Lewis "I was first on call for medical admissions, the second on-call was off sick, the foundation doctor was understandably taking a while with each patient.  There were 18 to see and counting. I had just watched a lady die in resus. I had been going for eight hours without a break. I got some water from the water cooler and drank it.  I got told not to drink in front of the patients as it gives the impression we’re not working hard enough and to wait until my break like everybody else by one of the senior A&E nurses.  I burst into tears. Said nurse didn’t notice. He was walking by at the time. I soldiered on." 

Doctors Association UK wellbeing lead Dr. Natalie Ashburner added: “It is extremely disappointing that doctors are reporting a lack of access to basic resources such as water at hospitals.  The effect of these ­inconsiderate, short-sighted decisions on the physical and mental wellbeing of staff who work long, anti-social shifts under tremendous stress in a climate of unprecedented demand for already stretched resources should not be underestimated.  The NHS is already haemorrhaging doctors. Trusts must urgently take measures to make the mental and ­physical wellbeing of doctors a priority, creating a compassionate culture and remembering doctors are human too.”

Anonymous "The first time I did CPR as a new doctor was one of the most awful experiences I’ve had. The patient was conscious as the compressions were enough to perfuse her brain. I now know this is rare but it was my first resus.  We couldn’t get her back and had to tell her she was dying. She was young and even my seniors were affected by it.  Our mess was closed so I had nowhere to go. I stepped into the kitchen to splash some water on my face and was berated by a manager for “stealing”.  I was openly crying at this point. She said maybe I wasn’t tough enough to be a doctor and I should rethink my career. I left medicine not long after that."

The group compiled responses from closed online forums of medics.  Many said the events took place in their first year after completing medical school at the hands of the ward or department managers usually senior nurses. Being reduced to tears is a common theme.  NHS England Chief People Officer Prerana Issar said: “Our NHS staff should be able to eat, drink and rest during shifts and get support from their managers to take care of themselves, so we are keen to follow up these individual examples.  The number of doctors working in the NHS continues to grow but we want to attract and retain even more to help improve patient care, and as part of that we are taking action to make the NHS the best place to work which includes improving culture and leadership at every level.”

Dr. Natalie Ashburner "It was the first time I had ever spoken to somebody just minutes before they had gone into a cardiac arrest. I was sat crying in the doctors’ office, shocked and upset, when a nurse entered.  She saw me crying and said, “What’s your problem?” She asked me to hurry up and finish the discharge summaries I was doing for other patients in the ward.  I felt ashamed about that incident for a long time afterward because, in showing my emotion, I felt that I had not behaved in a way expected of a doctor."

A recent poll found almost a third of doctors may be suffering from burnout, stress and “compassion fatigue”.  A&E medics and GPs are the most likely to feel burnt-out and have the highest levels of exhaustion and stress, according to the report in BMJ Open.  A separate study has found two-thirds of obstetricians and gynaecologists had encountered traumatic situations during labour and birth.  The NHS has some of the fewest doctors in proportion to the population compared to other developed nations.  Anonymous "My chair was taken away in A&E, apparently because patients didn’t like to see doctors sat down.  I worked 15 hours straight without sitting down, while pregnant. We also weren’t allowed water.  I fainted in the middle of the department at the end of my shift, I was mortified. I was then shouted at in front of everyone.  It was suggested it was my choice to be pregnant and no allowances would be made because I was the pregnant registrar. Looking back on it I’m sure this was illegal but there was no one I could go to."

There are 2.82 medics per 1,000 people, placing Britain sixth bottom out of 29 OECD nations.  The number of full-time equivalent doctors in the NHS increased by 23% from 95,602 in October 2009 to 117,149 by last year.  But that came alongside a huge increase in demand on their workload, thanks to the UK’s aging population, problems accessing GPs and cuts to public health budgets and social care in the community.  NHS funding increases have been at a record low of 1%, compared to a 4% historical average.  The Department of Health and Social Care said of our investigation: “These accounts are deeply distressing. This type of behaviour has no place in our NHS and nobody should have to face bullying or harassment in the workplace.  We take these kinds of reports very ­seriously and we’re committed to making the NHS a better place to work.”

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https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-murdered-neighbour-after-blaming-21475940?utm_source=mirror_newsletter&utm_medium=email&utm_content=EM_Mirror_Nletter_DailyNews_News_mediumteaser_Image_Story&utm_campaign=daily_newsletter

Woman 'murdered neighbour after blaming her untidy home for stalling house sale'

Debby Foxwell, 40, is accused of hitting neighbour Louise Lotz, 64, over the head with a spade following dispute lasting years over her 'untidy' garden and home
By Louie Smith

16:28, 11 FEB 2020 Updated17:38, 11 FEB 2020

A woman murdered her next-door neighbour with a spade after blaming her untidy home for stalling a planned house move, a court has heard.  Debby Foxwell, 40, allegedly developed a "visceral hatred" of Louise Lotz, 64, following years of rows about her overgrown garden and "cluttered" home.  Following one argument conducted over a back garden fence, she is said to have grabbed a spade from a shed before kicking down her neighbour's front door.  When Louise tried to flee she was caught by Foxwell, who is accused of "repeatedly" striking her head with the tool.  Prosecutor Alan Blake said: “It was a sustained, brutal and merciless attack.  At around 8 pm on a late Summer’s day last year, after a day of tension and disputes over the fence, this defendant went to her shed in her back garden and picked up a spade.  She walked through her house, number 10, and kicked open the door of number 8 in a furious rage. She used a spade to smash electrical items in the lounge before pursuing her neighbour, who made a run for safety.  Louise Lotz got to the front door of number 6. Debby Foxwell caught her and repeatedly bludgeoned her with a spade, before causing catastrophic injuries to her head.  The sustained ferocity of the attack and the number of blows make it plain she intended to kill her and she succeeded in doing so.”

The attack in Welwyn Garden City, Herts., last August followed years of bad blood between the pair, Saint Albans Crown Court heard.  Louise, living at number 8, was described by Mr Blake as an "untidy hoarder".  Witnesses said her house was "a mess" while Foxwell's garden was "perfect".  Mr Blake added: "She was something of an untidy hoarder. The rear garden was overgrown and unloved. The interior was cluttered."

Mr Blake added that she and Foxwell fell out over "petty matters: boundaries, bins, and borders.”

From 2015 onwards, disputes between the pair were frequently reported to the police by both parties.  In 2016, Foxwell was prosecuted for assault and criminal damage against Louise.  Her husband Paul died of cancer in the same year but by 2019 she was in a new relationship and planning to move.  Mr Blake added: "She blamed Louise Lotz, rightly or wrongly, for not being able to sell her property.”

Last July, Community Protection Warning Notices were issued to both women banning them from harassing, trespassing or taking photographs of each other.  The jury heard that on August 24 Louise grabbed Foxwell's mobile phone as she filmed her moving a wheelie bin.  Louise's lodger Liam Graham described the following confrontation.  He said: "Debby had a spade in her hand. She said ‘Where is she?’ I said ‘Who?’ She said ‘You know who.’ I said: ‘I don’t know where she is.

He said Foxwell walked off and later allegedly told her partner: “It’s over. I have done it.”

Foxwell denies murder but has pleaded guilty to manslaughter on grounds of diminished responsibility.  The trial continues.

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7983523/Storm-Ciara-lashes-UK-90mph-gale-force-winds-trigger-chaos-trees-crashing-down.html

Storm Ciara wreaks havoc: Homes are evacuated and hotel collapses into raging floodwaters as 93mph gales rip down cranes, windmills and even a pub and now SNOW is predicted tomorrow

    Trains cancelled and flights have been delayed due to Storm Ciara which is causing havoc across the UK   
    Passengers onboard a National Express bus narrowly avoided disaster as a huge tree came down on vehicle
    Gales have battered the Imperial War Museum airport hangar in Duxford amid fears it could blow onto M11
    River Eden burst its banks, causing severe flooding in Cumbria as coastal areas are facing huge wage crashes
    Hundreds of passengers are stranded abroad as flights are cancelled from Geneva airport due to the weather
    **Send us your Storm Ciara pictures: Email pictures@mailonline.co.uk**

By Terri-ann Williams For Mailonline and Sebastian Murphy-bates For Mailonline

Published: 10:39, 9 February 2020 | Updated: 21:09, 9 February 2020

Storm Ciara is wreaking havoc across the country as homes are being evacuated after a hotel collapsed into raging floodwaters while 93mph gales ripped down cranes, windmills and even a pub.  Tourists are stranded as hundreds of flights into and out of European airports were cancelled as Britain's biggest storm in seven years swept into Scotland, with snow predicted for tomorrow.   Homes have been evacuated across the country and emergency services have been rescuing people from their cars as violent winds and flooding continue to cause chaos.  Gales are battering Britain's biggest aviation museum amid fears that the force of the winds could tear off its roof and damage World War II planes.  Flying debris from buildings could bring danger to life and power cuts are also a possibility, forecasters have warned.  There are now 214 flood warnings in place demanding immediate action, with 177 alerts also suggesting that flooding is possible elsewhere.  Riverbanks are bursting as up to 151.8mm of rain has hit regions, forcing firefighters to warn people against travelling.  In other areas, residents are battling to save their homes, with pictures showing them using buckets as they struggle to move water away from their properties.  Football stadiums and zoos have shut their doors amid safety fears and train stations are urging against travelling on some networks after a train ploughed into a fallen tree.  Train providers axed services across swathes of the country today, announcing that there would be no journeys at all in certain regions.  Parks have also closed and the dog-walkers and joggers who braved the adverse weather today arrived to find gates closed.  Torrential rain opened up a sinkhole in a back garden, with footage showing water raging underneath the grass to the rear of the property.  As Storm Ciara batters Britain:

    A hotel in Hawick collapsed into floodwaters as violent winds helped to crumble the building to the ground 
    A tree crashed down onto National Express coach in London as passengers on board narrowly avoided disaster
    Gales damage Duxford hangar, causing fears the roof could be blown off and World War II aircraft destroyed 
    Man City vs. West Ham match, due to be held at the Etihad this afternoon was postponed due to the weather
    Gusts of 93 mph recorded in Aberdaron, North Wales, while 151.8mm of rain hits Cumbria in 24 hours
    Avanti West Coast cancels all trains north of Preston until further notice because of the impact of Storm Ciara
    London Euston's Twitter warns people not to travel and Cumbria firefighters warn drivers to stay at home
    Torrential rain opens up a sinkhole in the back garden of a property in Rochdale, Greater Manchester 

Collapsing walls and falling trees have seen people come within inches of injury or worse as they were forced to dodge out of the way of tumbling structures.  Coastal areas were pictured awash with foam from the sea as massive waves swept ashore and covered homes and businesses.  Major roads are closing and being rendered unusable as emergency services warn people not to drive through floodwater.  Police are enforcing emergency speed limits in some areas, amid fears of fatal accidents on Britain's roads should drivers choose to head out.  Concerns over accidents were amplified as a picture surfaced showing a car smashed up and on its side this morning.  Power networks were also bracing for blackouts from gales wreaking havoc on overhead electric cables and reassured the public they have crews on standby.  Thousands of football fans had their away day ruined after travelling more than 200 miles to watch West Ham play Manchester City only to find that the weather had cancelled the fixture.  Powerful gales lifted the roof clean off a gym and blew a trampoline onto train tracks as people also fear that the Imperial War Museum hangar at Duxford could be destroyed.  Met Office amber and yellow weather warnings remain in force, as forecasters warn flying debris could lead to injuries or endanger lives.  Gusts of 97 miles per hour were recorded on the Isle of White, with 93 miles per hour winds hitting Aberdaron, a village at the tip of the Llyn Peninsula.  Inland, Manchester Airport recorded gusts of 86 miles per hour, while 177mm of rain fell in Honister Pass, in Cumbria, in the 24 hours to 4 pm on Sunday around one-and-a-half times the average February rainfall of 112mm.  Some 539,000 people experienced a power cut on Sunday with 118,000 left without power by 4 pm across the whole of the UK, according to Energy Networks.  More than 200 flood warnings were issued across England, including one rated severe at Pateley Bridge, in North Yorkshire, meaning there is a danger to life, which was later stood down.  Chris Wilding, flood duty manager at the Environment Agency, said: 'Some significant river flooding is possible across parts of the north of England today due to heavy, persistent rain and severe gale force winds associated with Storm Ciara.  We urge people in at-risk areas to remain vigilant. Minor coastal flooding impacts are also possible for parts of the south, west and north-east England coast, where high tides, large waves and coastal gales combine.  We advise people to check their flood risk, stay safe and avoid activities such as storm selfies.'

The town of Appleby-in-Westmorland, in Cumbria, was hit by severe flooding as the River Eden burst its banks, with residents battling to protect their homes.  Cumbria Fire and Rescue Service urged people not to drive through floodwater after they rescued a number of motorists, while police forces across the country advised people to stay off the roads.  The River Irwell burst its banks at Radcliffe and Bury Council set up a rest centre in a leisure centre for residents affected by the flooding.  A major incident was declared in Lancashire, where firefighters received 311 calls, including 192 related to flooding before it was stood down.  Areas including Whalley, Longton and Rossendale were affected, with some properties in the Blackpool area evacuated.  Firefighters in the town had to rescue a motorist whose car got stuck in deep floodwater and a man escaped with minor injuries after being trapped for over an hour when a tree fell on a car in Flitwick, Bedfordshire.  Meanwhile, tourists are stranded abroad as delays hit airports on the continent as well as in the UK.   Speaking to the MailOnline, one passenger who has been left stranded in Morzine on the border of France and Switzerland, said her flight was cancelled with no word from travel provider EasyJet.  Lisa Norton from London had been skiing at the resort and was due to fly home from Geneva on the 9.40 pm flight this evening. Whilst on a ski lift she received a notification from the EasyJet app stating that her flight had been cancelled.  'We were supposed to be going home tonight but the soonest they can fly us home is Wednesday and I need to get back for my job and my child.  We are going to Geneva and from there we will fly from Paris, where we have had to get a Eurostar ticket to London.'

Lisa, who had been on the trip with her twin sister since Wednesday said it has cost her nearly £1,000 to make different travel arrangements.  'We didn't even get an email. There are a few people here at the resort who are in the same situation but have decided to stay here until they can get a flight back.  The weather has been stunning in France, we knew the storm was coming.' MailOnline has contacted EasyJet.

London's Gatwick and Heathrow airports have both seen disruption, leaving many passengers faced with hours of chaos.  Travellers hoping to arrive at Heathrow were faced with 37 cancellations and a further 50 delayed flights, while Gatwick saw more than 40 delays to both arrivals and departures.  Elsewhere around the country, flights are disrupted into and out of airports including the Glasgow, Manchester and Liverpool hubs.  Flights are delayed arriving and leaving major European cities too, with Frankfurt Airport seeing 21 cancelled departures and a further 116 delays.  Flights to and from major UK airports were cancelled and disrupted, including Qantas flight QF10, which returned to Heathrow after experiencing a suspected tailstrike during take-off.  Engineers found no damage to the fuselage of the Boeing 747, but the flight to Perth was cancelled because of limits on the crew members' flying time, the airline said.  A passenger on a flight from Florida said the plane's landing at Gatwick Airport on Sunday morning was aborted three times before finally landing on its fourth attempt.  Keith McDowall, 90, from Islington in north London, said: 'I've never had anything quite like it. I admit I was scared. It (the plane) was veering around and it kept shaking. The pilot did a very good job to land it.'

Zoos across the country including Chester and Blackpool closed their doors to protect the animals, but it didn't stop two pesky wallabies escaping from their enclosure in Southampton.  The two marsupials were sheltering behind a fence when it was knocked down by a huge gust of wind and they hopped away.  Police officers were alerted at 11.30 am and the animals were found looking very wet and cold in a bush. Their owners came to collect them and they are now back home safe and well. A spokesman for Hampshire Constabulary said: 'Trees down all across the New Forest helping where we can.  Oh, and two Wallabies that had escaped their enclosure in Calmore, Southampton, Hants, are now safely back where they belong.  They were being kept privately. The wind blew down the fence they were behind, some horses wandered into their field and they scarpered or should I say hopped.'

In Northampton, the roof of a building was blown off following 60mph winds in the area. The roof of the Sol Central was seen hanging on by a thread at around 9.20 am today. A car narrowly avoided being crushed by the panels as they flew off the roof.  Commuters at London's Euston station also faced struggles today as many packed into the station only to be faced with delays.  In London, a crane was bent over by gusts 'like it's made of spaghetti', according to Lindsey Wells, 36, who pictured the damage near Stanmore Tube station. A North Wales Twitter user shared footage of rough seas flooding roads and bringing water to his front door on Tremadoc Bay in Criccieth, Gwynedd. 'This is quite an exceptional storm and I haven't seen wind this strong for quite a few years,' 58-year-old company director Gethin Jones said.

The storm has also prompted all eight of London's Royal Parks, including Richmond and Hyde Park, to be shut until Monday, while in Ireland, the opening ceremony of Galway's year as the European capital of culture has also been called off.  A trampoline blown onto train tracks in Chelsfield, south London, disrupted rail services from the South-East into the capital.  And a North Wales Twitter user shared footage of rough seas flooding roads and bringing water to his front door on Tremadoc Bay in Criccieth, Gwynedd.  'This is quite an exceptional storm and I haven't seen wind this strong for quite a few years,' 58-year-old company director Gethin Jones told the PA news agency.

Gusts of 86 miles per hour were recorded in Capel Curig, in North Wales, at midnight, while the Isle of White saw 81mph winds on Sunday morning, while Cumbria saw 151.8mm of rain in 24 hours.  Met Office meteorologist Helen Roberts said 'quite exceptional' gusts of between 60 and 70mph would be seen in inland areas, with the worst of the weather likely to hit before 6 pm, although warnings are in place until 9 pm.  'As well as the strength of the wind there is the rain to come today,' she said.

'So far, we have seen some impact from the rain, which has been heavy and persistent across Northern Ireland and northern England in the last 24 hours.  It is likely we will see a further impact from the wind such as falling debris, roof tiles coming off, branches and trees down, with disruption to travel as well.'

Heathrow Airport said it had agreed with its airline partners to 'consolidate' Sunday's flight schedule in a bid to minimise the number of cancelled flights.  British Airways said in a statement: 'Like all airlines operating into and out of the UK tomorrow, we are expecting to be impacted by the adverse weather conditions across parts of the UK on Sunday.'

The airline said it was offering rebooking options for customers on domestic and European flights flying to and from Heathrow, Gatwick and London City on Sunday.  Virgin Atlantic has posted a list of cancelled flights on its website. It said it was 'contacting affected customers and rearranging their travel arrangements'.

This is while an overnight flight from New York to London is likely to have broken the fastest-ever crossing time after reaching speeds of more than 800mph.  The flight took just four hours and 56 minutes, according to Flightradar24. A 200mph jet stream hurtled towards the UK, pushing the plane to record-breaking speeds.  It departed JFK at the airport on Saturday and reached Heathrow at 11.20 pm. This is while flights travelling in the opposite direction were more than two hours longer than usual.  Speaking to the Independent, a BA spokesperson said: 'We always prioritise safety over speed records, but our highly trained pilots made the most of the conditions to get customers back to London well ahead of time.'

Ferries have also been disrupted, as P&O said all services at the Port of Dover were suspended due to strong winds and Mersey Ferries cancelled all services until further notice.  The train firms which have issued 'do not travel' warnings are Gatwick Express, Grand Central, Great Northern, Hull Trains, LNER, Northern, Southeastern, Southern, Thameslink and TransPennine Express.  Fog, snow and rain will bucket down on much of the nation and high winds are powerful enough to rip tiles from roofs, forecasters warned.  Weather maps show 1,000 mile-wide Ciara being catapulted across the Atlantic, bringing 30ft waves to the South-West and North-West coasts and 50ft waves offshore.  Drivers are being warned to take extra care on the roads due to the potential of difficult conditions caused by heavy rain, particularly on coastal or exposed routes.  In Scotland, the bad weather prompted officials to put in place a 40mph speed limit on the Queensferry Crossing, while ferry passengers also faced disruption, with many Caledonian MacBrayne services cancelled due to the conditions.  Robert Morrison, Caledonian MacBrayne's director of operations, yesterday said: 'There is a very high possibility of weather-related disruption to services across all 28 of our routes so people should be aware of this before setting off on their journey.  We will of course be looking keep sailings running when conditions allow.  I would urge passengers to allow extra time for their journey, keep track of the status of their sailing on the website or on social media and be prepared for delays and cancellations.'

The Met Office also warned that homes and businesses in the Scottish Borders are likely to be flooded, with a chance that some communities may be cut off by flooded roads.  Several bridges were closed to high sided vehicles on Saturday with the Erskine, Dornoch, Skye and Kessock Bridges among those affected.  In the Highlands, a lorry overturned on the A96 at Gollanfield. Police said there were no reports of any injuries.  However the road will remain closed overnight as it is not safe to recover the vehicle at the moment due to high winds.  In Aberdeenshire, a coach overturned on the B9000 at the A90 slip road for Newburgh.  Meanwhile, Network Rail said that winds of up to 90mph are expected on the West Highland Line and the Inverness to Kyle of Lochalsh routes on Sunday and said that services will be suspended during the worst of the weather.  The company tweeted: 'We expect extreme winds of 80-90mph to affect the West Highland Line & Inverness Kyle of Lochalsh tomorrow. Services will be suspended on those routes during the worst of the weather tomorrow. It's not safe to run in these conditions.  Once the storm passes, we'll inspect both routes with locomotives on Monday at first light for obstructions before reopening.'

The rail manager said there will be a 50mph precautionary speed limit for trains, adding that 'major travel disruption' is expected.  They advised passengers to 'only travel by train this Sunday if absolutely necessary'.  Disruption could continue into Monday morning as repair work may be hampered by the conditions.  The Scottish Environment Protection Agency has issued 15 flood alerts and 20 flood warnings.  Snow and ice are set to bring disruption to commuters in the North-West, Yorkshire and the Midlands over the next two days with the Met Office issuing yellow warnings in all three regions over the next two days.  The coastguard warned people not to be reckless if they see people in danger in the water.  A spokesperson said: 'If you see someone else in danger in the water, call 999 and ask for the Coastguard. If you have something that floats that they can hold on to, throw it to them.  Don't go in the water yourself too many people drown trying to save others.'

Some ferry journeys have also been affected by the bad weather.  Changes include times being adjusted on trips to and from Le Havre and Sunday's two Cherbourg to Poole trips being cancelled.  A yellow warning of wind covers the entire country, while an amber warning has been issued for south-east England as Ciara rolls down towards the continent.  Many attractions have dismayed tourists by shutting shop, including the Royal Parks which announced it will be closing all of London's eight parks, including Green Park, Hyde Park and St James's Park.  In a statement, they said: 'In liaison with our tree experts and Health and Safety team we have made this decision to ensure the safety of all park users including vehicle users and cyclists.'

Weather maps show 1,000 mile-wide Ciara being catapulted across the Atlantic, bringing 30ft waves to the south-west and north-west coasts and 50ft waves offshore.   Wind will remain a problem tomorrow but it is the additional threat from heavy snow which has prompted yet another yellow warning, between midnight on Sunday and noon on Tuesday.  Areas above 490ft (150m) can expect up to an inch of snow, rising to four inches above 980ft (300m). The Met Office has also forecast lightning strikes, blizzards and 'considerable drifting of lying snow'.  Looking further ahead, Chief meteorologist Frank Saunders added: 'In the wake of Storm Ciara, it'll remain unsettled and very windy across the UK and it'll turn colder with wintry showers and ice an additional hazard, as we head into the new week.'

Ben Aldous, RAC patrol of the year, said: 'Drivers will need to take extreme care with the strong winds forecast for this weekend, especially on coastal or exposed routes. Combine the strength of the wind with heavy showers, and you have a recipe for some treacherous driving conditions.  We strongly recommend drivers reduce their speed and leave plenty of space between their vehicle and those around them, and be particular careful when passing high-sided vehicles when the potential for strong cross-winds could blow them off course. Drivers in rural areas should be particularly cautious of falling debris.'   

Heart-stopping moment lifeboat almost capsizes on a mission to rescue 'idiot' surfer as Storm Ciara lashes the Sussex coast

By Isabella Nikolic for MailOnline

A lifeboat almost capsized after being battered by waves on the Sussex coast during a Storm Ciara rescue mission.  Heart-stopping footage shows the boat being tossed around by the waves before one huge breaker smacks into its side and forces it out of the water.  The volunteers on the boat, from RNLI Hastings, were on a mission to save an 'idiot' surfer who had become separated from his board off the coast of Hastings thanks to 93mph gales from Storm Ciara.  Paul Hogg, who uploaded footage of the rescue mission, said: 'Brave boys from RNLI off out to rescue some idiot surfer off Hastings in Storm Ciara. Come home, safe boys.'

In response, one onlooker called Richard Connolly uploaded footage of the surfer in trouble alongside the caption: 'This is the surfer when he lost his board and it went from bad to worse for him. He even refused help from standers-by. He could have prevented this whole scene with the rescuers.'

The surfer is seen thrashing around in the water as waves upon waves of seawater smash into him and drag him further out.  The Hastings branch of the RNLI has confirmed that all those on board the boat have returned safely from the mission.  In a post on Twitter, they wrote: 'After a dramatic video has been posted most of you know hat we've been out on a shout but we're happy to report that we're all safe, well and uninjured and the boat is undamaged and safely berthed next to RNLI Eastbourne. We're on our way back to Hastings now.'

An RNLI spokesman said that all of their lifeboats are built to withstand harsh conditions. RNLI Poole uploaded the video to Twitter alongside the caption: 'Our colleagues out on a shout at Hastings.

Shocking moment National Express coach avoids being crushed by INCHES as a huge tree is blown into a London street by Storm Ciara

By Jemma Carr for MailOnline

This is the terrifying moment a bus-load of National Express passengers narrowly escape death when a falling tree misses them by seconds.  High winds caused by Storm Ciara sent the tree crashing onto the road directly into the path of the coach outside London's Victoria Station earlier today.  Storm Ciara has caused gales of up to 93mph, ripping down cranes, windmills and even a pub up and down the country.  The shocking dashcam footage, from a car going in the opposite direction, shows the coach turning a corner onto a tree-lined road.  One of the trees sways back and forth in the wind as the coach and the car get closer to it. Suddenly, the tree is sent clattering to the tarmac.  Branches fall onto the car's windshield as a loud crash is heard before the driver stops and exclaims: 'Bloody hell.'

Reverse dash-cam footage shows just how narrow the bus's escape really was. The falling tree clips the front of the coach as it comes to an emergency stop.  A concerned driver comes out from between parked buses to see what happened as the video ends. The clip comes as footage of a hotel collapsing into raging floodwaters in Scotland emerged.  Further wintry weather is set to hit the UK on Monday and Tuesday, with the Met Office issuing a yellow warning for snow and ice in the North West, Yorkshire, and the Midlands.  The M11 has been shut in both directions in Cambridgeshire after an airport hangar in Duxford airfield, the location of the largest aviation museum in the UK, was damaged by high winds.  Gusts of 93 miles per hour were recorded in Aberdaron, a village at the tip of the Llyn Peninsula, in north Wales, while Cumbria saw 151.8mm of rain in 24 hours.  The town of Appleby-in-Westmorland in the county was hit by severe flooding as the River Eden burst its banks, with residents battling to protect their homes.  Cumbria Fire and Rescue Service urged people not to drive through floodwater after they rescued a number of motorists.  Avanti West Coast said no trains will run north of Preston on Sunday until further notice because of the impact of Storm Ciara, and London Euston Twitter account has warned people not to travel. National Express has been approached for comment.

Dramatic moment Scottish hotel COLLAPSES into raging flood water as Storm Ciara unleashes her wrath across the UK

By Phoebe Eckersley for MailOnline

This is the moment a hotel collapsed into raging flood water as Storm Ciara unleashed her wrath across the country and wreaked travel havoc with 93mph gales.  The Bridge House Guest House in Hawick, Scotland, was taped off at around 9.30 am by emergency services after water began travelling up the embankment.  Fire crews rushed to the scene after the water smashed into the building. Footage shows the exterior of the Scottish Borders hotel crashing into the torrents below, this morning.  A large section of the guest house is seen tumbling into the murky water as Storm Ciara batters the UK with more than 90mph winds and heavy rain.  A kitchen and former stairway, lined with paintings, is revealed behind the subsiding building.  A Police Scotland spokesperson told the Mirror: 'The building has been evacuated and there have been no injuries.' 

Hotel guests and staff were seen spilling on to the street as chiefs evacuated it.  The building's foundations were partially washed away in the swollen River Teviot.  An eyewitness, who was due to stay overnight at the guest house, was advised that his reservation was cancelled due to fears of the hotel's collapse.  The Scottish Environmental Protection Agency (SEPA) issued multiple warnings for the Borders after Britain's biggest storm in seven years swept into Scotland.  Around 900 properties were without power after the storm affected supplies in Mull and Lochearnhead in Perthshire.  Passengers are being advised to check before travelling by several rail companies in Scotland and the United Kingdom and to defer their plans until tomorrow.  Hundreds of tourists have been stranded as hundreds of flights into and out of European airports were cancelled as Britain's biggest storm in seven years swept into Scotland, with snow predicted for tomorrow.  In Scotland, officials put in place a 40mph speed limit on the Queensferry Crossing, and ferry services were also cancelled after a weather warning for gusts of up to 75mph was issued by the Met Office.  British Airways cancelled around 140 flights due to take-off and landing restrictions and Virgin Atlantic grounded a dozen long-haul departures.  The storm wreaked havoc and saw a total of 214 flood warnings in place demanding immediate actions, with 177 alerts also suggesting that flooding is possible.  Avanti, which runs services on the line from Scotland, northwest England and the West Midlands to London Euston, Tweeted: 'Journey times will be DOUBLED, please avoid travel unless absolutely necessary.'

Thousands stranded as 90mph winds blight airports, rail lines and motorways

By Sophie Law for MailOnline

Storm Ciara is battering the UK with heavy gales and gusts of wind reaching more than 90mph, causing widespread travel chaos.  Thousands of passengers have been left stranded across the country after trains and planes were cancelled, with motorways shut as floods rip through towns and waves crash the coastlines.  Flooding and debris on rail lines have caused delays and many major stations across the country have been shut due to overcrowding.  Meanwhile, hundreds of flights have been grounded - with Gatwick, London's busiest airport, the worst affected with around 300 arrivals and departures cancelled.  Planes are being diverted as far as Germany after being unable to land at UK airports due to dangerous weather conditions.  British Airways has cancelled flights from Heathrow, Gatwick and London City, while Virgin Atlantic are running a reduced timetable.  A plane arriving at Birmingham airport was captured swaying in high winds as the pilot attempted to land amid severe winds conditions.  The M11 has been shut in both directions in Cambridgeshire after an airport hangar in Duxford airfield, the location of the largest aviation museum in the UK, was damaged by high winds.  The major motorway caused chaos near Stansted Airport, with traffic queuing for more than a mile after Highways England said the hangar is 'likely' to blow onto the road.  Highways England tweeted: 'M11 is being closed in both directions between J9 and J10 at Duxford airfield an aircraft hangars roof has been damaged in the wind and is likely to be blown on to the motorway please avoid the area #StumpsCross #Whittlesford #Royston.'

Numerous platforms at London's Victoria Station were closed after the roof was battered from the wind.  National Rail issued a warning on Twitter saying: 'Platforms 1-6 at London Victoria are currently closed until further notice due to damage to the roof.'

Network Rail has imposed a blanket speed restriction of 50mph across the network today, warning passengers to only travel if 'absolutely necessary'. Commuters at London's Euston station also faced struggles today as many packed into the station only to be faced with delays.  The train firms which have issued 'do not travel' warnings are Gatwick Express, Grand Central, Great Northern, Hull Trains, LNER, Northern, Southeastern, Southern, Thameslink and TransPennine Express.  Avanti West Coast said no trains will run north of Preston on Sunday until further notice because of the impact of Storm Ciara, and London Euston Twitter account has warned people not to travel.  In Scotland, officials put in place a 40mph speed limit on the Queensferry Crossing, and ferry services were also cancelled after a weather warning for gusts of up to 75mph was issued by the Met Office.  Ferries have also been disrupted, as P&O said all services at the Port of Dover were suspended due to strong winds and Mersey Ferries cancelled all services until further notice.  London's Gatwick and Heathrow airports have both seen disruption, leaving many passengers faced with hours of chaos.  Travellers hoping to arrive at Heathrow were faced with 37 cancellations and a further 50 delayed flights, while Gatwick saw more than 40 delays to both arrivals and departures.  Elsewhere around the country, flights are disrupted into and out of airports including the Glasgow, Manchester and Liverpool hubs.  Virgin Atlantic has posted a list of cancelled flights on its website. It said it was 'contacting affected customers and rearranging their travel arrangements'.

Fears grow for Britain's largest aviation museum in Cambridgeshire as high winds batter the hangar roof

By Emily Webber for MailOnline 

The AirSpace hangar houses some of the world's most famous aircraft including the Lancaster, Spitfire, Concorde and Vulcan.  Storm Ciara has caused part of the roof to be ripped open with insulation pictured on the M11.  The motorway has been closed between junction 9 and 10 northbound and junction 11 and 9 southbound.  Police have warned residents in the vicinity of the hangar to remain indoors as the possibility of the roof being blown off grows.  AirSpace officially opened in July 2008 and houses more than 30 aircraft.  The collection includes an Airco DH.9 which is a single-engine biplane bomber deployed in the First World War.  It is one of six remaining DH.9's in the world and is the only one in the UK.  IWM tweeted: 'Extreme weather has caused part of the M11 around IWM Duxford to close.  We are monitoring the situation closely and will assess whether the site will re-open tomorrow, Monday 10 February.'

British Airways flight to Heathrow 'travels faster than 800mph'  A British Airways flight is thought flown back from New York at more than 800mph.  Storm Ciara is battering Britain with wind and torrential rain, but the conditions helped the aircraft get back speedily to the UK.  Flight Radar, a popular online tracking service for aircraft, said the BA flight left JFK airport on Saturday and reached Heathrow in four hours and 56 minutes.  In a tweet, they said:  If we're not mistaken, BA now retakes the fastest subsonic NY-London crossing from Norwegian'.

A spokesman for British Airways said: 'We always prioritise safety over speed records, but our highly trained pilots made the most of the conditions to get customers back to London well ahead of time.'

Travelling in the next 24 hours?

Storm Ciara set to cause significant disruption, but here's what to do to make sure your trip isn't halted

Storm Ciara is set to cause significant disruption across the country today as yellow and amber weather warnings cover the whole of the UK, and airports in every region are braced for cancellations and delays.  One expert today said that it's not the airline's fault if you miss your flight due to poor road and rail connections.  Emma Grimster, the spokeswoman at TravelSupermarket, said: 'Remember, if you miss your flight due to road conditions or the failure of public transport to get you to the airport, this is your responsibility and the airlines are within their rights to charge you for a new flight.  Missed flight cover in a good quality travel insurance policy will be able to help with this.  If your flight is cancelled, the airline must give you the option of rebooking an alternative flight, or if there are no suitable flights you can request a refund.  If you are delayed by two hours or more, your airline should also provide you with food while you wait and accommodation where appropriate.  However, as weather conditions are out of the control of the airlines, they will not be liable for the cost of your onwards accommodation or any other arrangements you have booked ahead. Be aware of what your travel insurance policy offers in terms of assistance to claim back any costs incurred.'

Storm Ciara: How to keep your valuables safe

As the Met puts in place weather warnings across the country it's important to know how your home and business could be hit, and how you can protect it.  Aviva stated that simple measures can be put in place in order to prevent you from losing your most precious items.  What to do to protect against the storm:

· If possible, park vehicles in a garage, or away from large trees

· If time allows, and it is safe to do so, check for loose tiles on the roof, secure any weak fencing etc to minimise the risk of causing damage to other parts of your property

· Safely store or secure any garden furniture, ornaments, bikes or children's toys / outside play equipment

· Make sure all doors and windows are closed

A diver has died in an accident off Oban in Argyll during Storm Ciara.  It is believed the 50-year-old got into difficulties in the Sound of Kerala today.  Police said the death was being treated as 'unexplained' but there were 'no suspicious circumstances.'  The man was with a group of divers who were located on the shore at the south of Oban. It is believed the death is not weather-related.  Oban Lifeboat was unable to reach the group because of the weather coupled with the fact that the ambulance service was already on scene.  'At 10.15 today a 999 call was received by HM Coastguard regarding a diver in difficulty near Oban,' said a statement by the Maritime and Coastguard Agency.

'A coastguard helicopter, the Oban Coastguard Rescue Team and Oban Lifeboat were sent to the scene. The diver was recovered from the water by people on the scene.'d spokesperson said: 'Police are currently investigating the sudden death of a 50-year-old man in South Oban, around 10.40 am on Sunday.  The death is currently being treated as unexplained but there does not appear to be any suspicious circumstances. A report will be submitted to the Procurator Fiscal.       

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https://www.huffpost.com/entry/loss-sibling_b_4843824

The Loss of a Lifetime: When an Adult Brother or Sister Dies
What did it mean that there were no handbooks for me? Those people asked me to be strong in the face of the biggest loss I'd ever experienced or imagined? At times I felt like I didn't deserve to feel so shattered, especially in the shadow of my parents' immense loss.

By Lynn Shattuck

When I was 24, my younger brother, who was my only sibling, died. The day the phone rang and I heard my mom say dark, foreign words like coroner, needle, heroin, autopsy, was the most impactful day of my life. In the thickness of shock, I didn't realize that the rest of my life would be measured before and after. Before, when my family was intact. After, when I would somehow learn to live without the person I was supposed to get a lifetime with.  "Be strong for your parents," said blurs of people at Will's memorial service.

I nodded, but inside me, something twisted. I stood in a daze as people streamed by, offering their awkward words and hugs. Be strong for your parents?

I thought.  I was barely breathing. I was barely standing here. Strong was the last thing I felt.  In the early months after Will's death at 21, I existed in a heavy fog. Nothing was as I knew it. I'd abandoned the little life I'd started in Maine and landed back in Alaska where my parents were, where my brother and I had grown up. My friends were living their lives going to college, working, falling in and out of love and lust. Meanwhile, my life had stopped.  My childhood home was filled with the cloying scent of flowers just starting to die. It struck me then how terrible it was that we send flowers to the grieving here you go, another reminder that nothing is permanent, that everything lovely will be lost.  My brother's absence was heavy in the house. Though he had died in Seattle, his room was scattered with relics: the bed he had slept in for so many years, his big flannel shirts hanging like shadows in the closets, a handful of videos and books. Memories pinned to each corner.  Having always taken comfort in words, I scoured the internet for a book for someone like me an adult whose (barely) adult brother had died. What I found was unimpressive: There were more books on losing a pet than losing a brother or sister. A few books existed for surviving children after a death in the family, but they were for small children. One memoir documented a sister's grief following her brother's death, but it was out of print.  What did it mean that there were no handbooks for me?

Those people asked me to be strong in the face of the biggest loss I'd ever experienced or imagined?

At times I felt like I didn't deserve to feel so shattered, especially in the shadow of my parents' immense loss.  A few months later, I started attending a local grief group. I sat in a circle with a few widows and widowers, a woman whose daughter had died, and a woman whose mother had died. I was younger than any of them by at least 30 years, but I could relate to their shares: "I feel like I'm going crazy." "I'm so damned angry right now." "I can't sleep at night."

Though the losses were different, the feelings were the same.  So much was lost:  My parents, who would never be the same. Their pain was almost visible as if a piece of their bodies had been cut out. I had lost myself, too, or at least the version of me that was unscathed by tragedy: an innocent version, who walked around in some parallel universe where her brother was still alive, ignorant to the incredible fortune of an entirely alive family.  My brother, my past. Will's big blue eyes. His loud laugh. He was the co-keeper of my childhood. The person who was supposed to walk with me longer than anyone else in this life. The only other person who knew what it was like to grow up with our particular parents, in our particular home.  The future. I cried for the nephews and nieces I would never have. I cried for my own faceless potential children who would never know my brother. How would I explain to him?

How would I ensure that his essence wasn't lost, that he wasn't just a figure in old photographs, a handful of stories?

And I had to have children someday, right?

I was the only person who could make my parents the grandparents they always assumed they'd be.  And all the hard times ahead when my brother wouldn't be by my side. When my parents began to age. When my grandparents died. There would be no one to share these dark milestones.  And so I had to stay alive. The burden of needing to stay healthy, to stay safe, to stay close.  I felt like our family had been a four-legged table, and one leg had suddenly been torn off. The remaining three of us wobbled and teetered. We felt the missing leg like an amputee, each morning waking to the horrible fact that Will was gone.  I wrote letters to my brother in those early months and years. At first, memories blazed through my head and I used the letters to capture them before they flitted away, gone forever: my brother walking towards me when he visited me in Maine, the sun splattering his cheeks, turning him golden. The time I taught him to make snow angels in the front yard of our childhood home, our bulkily clad limbs sliding in synchronicity under icy stars. My tiny hand on my mom's belly, feeling my brother kick.  Later, I wrote the letters when I needed to cry when the grief sat coiled and waiting in my chest, needing to be let out, released. I couldn't find the words of other bereaved sisters or brothers to bring me comfort, so I created my own.  One day, when I was lost in my sadness, my mom said, "You won't always feel like this. You'll have a family of your own. You'll move on."

This seemed impossible in my 24-year-old skin. I couldn't imagine this potential future my mom spoke of, this predicted family.  But very, very slowly, I began putting my life back together. I finished college. I made the difficult decision to leave home again and move back to Maine. I met my husband and after several years, we had two children. Our son has my brother's big blue eyes and his love of music. Our daughter possesses the lighthearted spirit my brother had at the same age. The sibling love between them is palpable; they spat and giggle, they dance and huddle. Though sometimes adult siblings aren't able to close the distance between them, all those shared experiences and time and space and relationships matter. They tether us, they twine our stories together. I pray that my children remain close as they grow and that they enjoy a long lifetime together.  After nearly 15 years, the sharp shock and grief I felt in those early months and years are gone. It took years for the pain to fade, for the words "your brother is dead" to stop pounding in my head but they did.

Will's absence is mostly a dull hurt, the ghost of an old broken bone that aches when it rains. I feel it more on holidays and anniversaries when someone else close to me dies.  I'll always wish he was still here. I'll always wonder what he would look like and what he'd be doing if he was still alive at 36. At 50. At 75.  I move on and through. Perhaps I am even strong, like those well-meaning mourners at my brother's memorial asked me to be. But my brother's loss will remain with me for my whole life just like he was supposed to.  This essay originally appeared in the elephant journal.

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7960603/Streatham-terrorist-Sudesh-Ammans-mother-disgusted-rampage.html

Mother of Streatham terrorist reveals her 'disgust' at son's attack, claims he was radicalised in Belmarsh and how he asked for his favourite mutton biryani just hours before his knife rampage

    Haleema Khan, 41, has described her 20-year-old Streatham terrorist son Sudesh Amman as a 'lovely boy'
    She is trying to get her son's body from the police to bury him after finding out on TV about his death in Streatham
    Amman lived with Mrs. Khan and his five younger brothers in Harrow but was jailed for terror offences in 2018
    One friend said Amman used to say 'I am going to bomb you' and 'When I grow up I am going to be a terrorist'

By Shekhar Bhatia and Mark Duell for MailOnline

Published: 10:17, 3 February 2020 | Updated: 18:03, 3 February 2020

Terrorist Sudesh Amman asked his mother for his favourite mutton biryani meal just hours before he was shot dead by police in London, she revealed today as it emerged she was left 'disgusted' by the terror attack.  Haleema Khan, 41, of Dunstable, Bedfordshire, learned about both yesterday's attack in Streatham and her son's death from TV news, having spoken to him on the phone earlier in the day when he asked for the meal.  It comes as Mrs. Khan revealed three pictures of Amman as a boy shirtless and pulling a face while playing on the pavement; posing with a neck chain while eating with a fork, and holding a vacuum cleaner.  She described her son as a 'lovely boy' as she fought back tears today while telling MailOnline how she felt he was radicalised at HMP Belmarsh in Thamesmead, South East London. The top-security jail has been home to a number of high-profile extremist prisoners, including Lee Rigby killers Michael Adebolajo and Michael Adebowale.  Mrs. Khan said Amman had also developed extreme views after looking at Islamist material online. She is now trying to get her son's body from the police as soon as possible to bury him.  Amman lived with Mrs. Khan and his five younger brothers in Harrow, North West London before he was jailed for terror offences at the Old Bailey in December 2018. A family source said Mrs. Khan was 'disgusted' by the attack, although neighbours said she had been convinced of her son's innocence even after he was convicted.  In the Queen's Speech before Christmas, Boris Johnson immediately promised changes including tougher surveillance, 14-year sentences for all serious terror offences, and a government review of license conditions for 74 terrorists who had been let out of jail early. Two of the 72 have since been recalled to prison, MailOnline understands.  However, the Parole Board has confirmed it did not reassess Amman to ascertain if he was a danger before his release, and it emerged Amman had displayed several 'risk indicators'.  After the Fishmongers' Hall terror attack on November 29, a raft of measures was proposed including forcing dangerous terrorists who receive extended determinate sentences to serve the whole time behind bars.  Mr. Johnson, whose government is under pressure to answer how yesterday's terror attack was allowed to happen just weeks after he promised tighter controls, has now said Ministers are preparing to take action to end the automatic early release of prisoners currently in jail for terrorist offences.  On January 21 the Government vowed to introduce new anti-terror measures in the 'first 100 days' of its administration to carry out the Prime Minister's pledge on tougher sentences, overhaul the terrorist licensing regime, double the number of specialist counter-terror probation officers and introduce polygraph testing.  He was elected on December 12, suggesting a deadline of March 21 to implement the new Counter-Terrorism Bill.  Scotland Yard said armed officers were following Amman on foot yesterday as part of a 'proactive counter-terrorism surveillance operation' in Streatham High Road.  The three victims were taken by ambulance to south London hospitals. One man, in his 40s, is no longer considered to be in a life-threatening condition following treatment, police said. A woman, in her 50s, who had non-life threatening injuries has been discharged from hospital.  It also emerged today that Amman was put under full surveillance on the day he was released from prison and within days, counter-terrorism officials were so worried about him that those tailing him were armed.   Meanwhile, a source close to Amman's family said his mother was 'disgusted' and 'very upset' with her son's knife rampage and rejects his fanatical extremist beliefs.  The family source told MailOnline today: 'Haleema is disgusted by what he has done and his beliefs, but she is a mother and has lost a son so she is very upset and sad.  But they are relieved that he wasn't able to kill anyone. It has hit them very hard, but now they are trying to get his body from the police as soon as possible and bury him.  This is done as quickly as one can for Muslims as is custom and prayers for him will begin shortly.'

Amman attended Park High School, an academy in Stanmore with 1,650 pupils which was labelled 'outstanding' in its most recent Ofsted inspection.  A spokesman for Harrow Council told MailOnline today: 'We can confirm that he attended the school between 2011 and 2016.'

One female friend from Harrow told the London Evening Standard about conversations with Amman when they were younger, saying: 'He kept on saying. 'I am going to bomb you'.  'He said 'I have got a grenade in my pocket and if you take one step closer to me I am going to set it off'.  We thought he was joking but he kept on saying it. He said, 'when I grow up I am going to be a terrorist'.'

A former neighbour of Amman, Savita Khimani, 51, said: 'After he was convicted last the mother still believed her son was wrongly accused and hadn't done anything.  'The last time I spoke to her was about three months ago. They went very quiet. Last time we asked the police what happened and we were scared because armed police were there all the time.  We've never had any issues with them and we just had a casual conversation to be honest. The brothers never addressed anything about him being sent to prison.'

Her son, Jignesh Khimani, 20, went to school with Amman. He said: 'He was a normal boy at Park High School (in Stanmore). He kept himself to himself.  He was a quiet lad. There were no red flags at all. He did have friends. The family all acted normally.  I would see the brothers out and about but we never saw his dad. Sudesh had no social media whatsoever.'

The two-story terraced home in Harrow, which the family is said to have lived in for 18 years, now sits empty following the family's move shortly before Christmas.  All but one of the house's front-facing windows were blocked by drawn curtains today.  Amman attended Kenmore Park Junior School, whose alumni include Tessa Peake-Jones who played Raquel Turner in Only Fools and Horses.  One neighbour in Harrow described the Amman's as 'a normal family' who she knew vaguely as their children went to the same school Kenmore Park Junior School.  Remembering a previous police raid on the house she said happened around three years ago, she said: 'I was shocked.   'When they did the first raid I thought it was for Can't Pay Take It Away. We have been here for 20 years and the kids went to the same school as theirs.  I didn't really know the guy because I only saw the younger ones. They seemed like a pretty normal family. I said hello to them a few times. The only time I saw the mum was when they were passing.'

In December 2018, Amman smiled and waved to his mother and brother in the public gallery at the Old Bailey when he was jailed for 13 terror offences.   Wearing a black prayer cap and long black tunic, Amman smirked when he was told that he was facing a sentence of just three years and four months.  The maths and science student at North West London College with a fascination for knives refused to stand for the judge and could not stop laughing.  The fanatic kept a notebook in which he wrote that his 'goals in life' were: 'Die as a shuhada', which means martyr, and 'go-to Jannah', which translates as paradise.  Amman told his girlfriend to kill her parents, bought a combat knife and airgun in readiness for a terror attack and tried to radicalise his younger brothers.  He sent Isis recruitment material and shared an Al Qaeda magazine to a family WhatsApp group that included his three younger brothers aged between 11 and 15.  Amman had been jailed for three years and four months in December 2018, when he pleaded guilty to 13 counts including possessing bomb-making manuals and knife-fighting guides, but he was automatically released just days ago, halfway through his sentence, despite fears he still held extremist views.  In the Queen's Speech before Christmas, Boris Johnson immediately promised changes including tougher surveillance, 14-year sentences for all serious terror offences, and a government review of licence conditions for 74 terrorists who had been let out of jail early.  But the Parole Board has confirmed it did not reassess Amman to ascertain if he was a danger before his release, and Amman had displayed several 'risk indicators', including lack of remorse and allegiance to an extremist group.  It was 'obvious' to think tank the Henry Jackson Society that he was 'one of the most high-risk extremists around'. Police had kept Amman, who was released on licence and subject to a curfew, under active surveillance.
 
The jihadis who slipped through the net: How Streatham knifeman Sudesh Amman is the latest terrorist to carry out an attack while on British authorities' radar

The convicted terrorist who went on a knife rampage in south London yesterday is the latest in a growing list of Islamists to strike while on the radar of security services.  Sudesh Amman was able to stab two people on Streatham high street despite being under close surveillance by MI5 and anti-terror police following his release from jail.  He was freed just a few days ago under 'very stringent' licencing conditions, meaning armed police who were tracking him arrived on the scene in moments.  But officers were unable to prevent him from knifing one man in the stomach and a female cyclist in the back before he was eventually shot dead outside Boots chemist.  Amman, 20, becomes the second convicted terrorist to carry out a knife attack in Britain within ten weeks, following a similar rampage by London Bridge attacker Usman Khan.

Usman Khan, 28, killed two people at Fishmongers' Hall in 2019

Khan, 28, was shot dead by police on London Bridge in November after killing two people at a nearby rehabilitation conference while out on licence for terror offenses.  The son of a taxi driver, he got an indeterminate jail term in 2012 after admitting preparing terrorist acts, including the plot and starting a terror training camp in Pakistan.  In 2013 the Court of Appeal changed that to a 16-year fixed sentence which meant Khan had to serve only half.  While on licence in November, he stabbed Cambridge graduates Jack Merritt, 25, and Saskia Jones, 23, to death while wearing a fake suicide vest at Fishmonger's Hall.  In the aftermath of Khan's attack, it was claimed Khan had reformed and become a model prisoner while in prison, which helped him win permission to travel unescorted from his Stafford bedsit to London.  But Khan was moved to a Category A prison after he was involved in incidents of violence and threats to endanger staff.  Khan was released from HMP Woodhill in Buckinghamshire in December 2018.

Khuram Butt, 27, the ringleader of 2017 London Bridge attack that killed eight people

The ringleader of the 2017 London Bridge attack that killed eight people, Butt had been the subject of a two-year investigation by security services.  However the chief coroner, in a report into the atrocity, said police and MI5 did not recognise the threat he posed.  Mark Lucraft QC said this was despite Butt's association with Islamic State fanatic Anjem Choudary and an appearance in the documentary The Jihadi Next Door.  The probe was twice suspended due to pressure on resources and the authorities did not pass on tip-offs about his extremism, including one from a family member.  There was also a two-month delay in translating a request from the Italian authorities for information about his fellow attacker Youssef Zaghba.  An Old Bailey inquest heard that Butt, who was an MI5 subject of interest (SIO), had looked at extremist material online in the months and years before the attack, including propaganda for so-called Islamic State, violent images and sermons from extremist preachers.  Bereaved families said MI5 and counter-terror police should review their assumptions about the weight placed on an SIO's so-called mindset material.  Mr. Lucraft said there is no evidence investigators are not capable of making those judgments properly after police and security services pointed out that many SIOs possess such material.

Khalid Masood, 52, who killed five people in 2017 Westminster attack

Masood killed five people and injured more than 50 after he mounted the pavement in his car outside the Houses of Parliament and went on a knife rampage.   The 52-year-old Briton was probed by MI5 from as early as 2004, with concerns high enough that he was classified as a threat to national security.  However, the file on him was closed in 2012 as it was deemed that he was not considered a serious threat.  Masood, a violent criminal who picked up a string of convictions during his time living in Kent and Sussex, is believed to have converted to Islam while he was serving two prison sentences between 2000 and 2004.  After emerging from prison, he went to Saudi Arabia to teach English in trip a thought to have been inspired by his new-found spirituality.  When he returned from Saudi around 2009, he moved to Luton, a city in which a number of extremists and Islamic radicals were operating.  Theresa May would later tell the House of Commons that 52-year-old Masood was considered a 'peripheral' figure at the time.
       
Salman Abedi, Manchester Arena bomber who killed 22 in 2017

Abedi, the jidahi terrorist who detonated a suicide vest at Manchester Arena in 2017 and killed 22 people, was also known to British security services.

But was not deemed high risk, despite five community leaders reporting him for extremist views.

A report found a series of failures on behalf of security services, including how he had visited a category An extremist inmate in prison.

Counter-terror police were also alerted to Abedi frequently travelling to Libya from 2014 onwards but he was not made the subject of travel restrictions or monitoring.

Abedi's case was flagged for review but was not re-examined before he slaughtered parents and children at the Ariana Grande concert

The Abedi family, originally from Libya, fled during the Gaddafi dictatorship with the father returning to fight with opposition forces when the uprising began in 2011.  Both brothers travelled to Libya in April 2017, then Salman returned alone before carrying out the suicide attack in Manchester.  He detonated his device at the end of the concert, with 353 people, including 175 children, around him in the foyer of the venue.  As well as the 22 dead, 16 people suffered serious injuries including paralysis, loss of limbs, internal injuries, and serious facial injuries involving complicated plastic surgery.

Ahmed Hassan, 18, whose homemade bomb failed to explode at Parsons Green Tube station in 2017

The 18-year-old Iraqi asylum-seeker left a homemade bomb on a District line commuter train in 2017 which partially exploded after the train arrived at Parsons Green station.  He claimed during an asylum interview that he had been trained to kill by ISIS against his will and spent several hours a day in a mosque under their command, receiving religious education.  After those comments, he was brought to the attention of MI5 on February 2, 2016, during a discussion with Counter-Terrorism Policing, but he was never made a subject of interest.  Instead, he was referred to the Channel mentoring scheme part of the Prevent de-radicalisation programme in February 2016.  It was not until June 2016 that he was made an 'active' Channel case and nine formal meetings were then held of the joint agency Channel panel at which his case was discussed.  However, Hassan was never assigned a mentor, for a six-month period in 2017 there were no panel meetings, and at the time of the attack, the panel was considering closing his case.

Darren Osborne, 48, killed one in 2017 Finsbury Park mosque attack

Darren Osborne, from Cardiff, drove a vehicle into a group of people gathered near a mosque in Finsbury Park in north London on June 19, 2017, killing Makram Ali.

He was said to have had an extensive criminal history dating back to 1984, including 33 convictions for 102 offences ranging from offences against the person to drugs and theft.  He had not been investigated by MI5 or Counter-Terrorism Police before launching his attack and was 'not known to be a member of, or have links to, any extremist right-wing groups.'  Osborne first appeared a court in his home town of Weston Super Mare aged 15 in 1984. Before the terror attack, he was last in court in 2014.  He had planned to drive into crowds attending a pro-Palestinian march in London in June last year, and he claimed he hoped to kill Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn and London mayor Sadiq Khan.  But road closures meant he couldn't get near the march and, after driving around London looking for Muslim targets, he drove at a group of people outside the Muslim Welfare House in Finsbury Park.

Sudesh Amman, 20, stabbed two people in Streatham in 2020

Amman was a convicted terrorist under police surveillance having recently been freed from prison when he went on a knife rampage in Streatham.  The 20-year-old bearded Islamic fanatic, who was on licence and known for having a fascination with knives, dived into a local convenience store to steal a £3.99 blade before embarking on a bloody stabbing spree.  Wearing a fake suicide vest, he targeted pedestrians at random on the Sunday afternoon, stabbing one man in the stomach, before knifing a female cyclist in the back just after 2pm in Streatham, South London.  Armed police who had been following him closely, were on the scene within minutes, chasing him down the high street shouting 'stop' before opening fire, shooting him dead outside a Boots chemist.  He was jailed in December 2018 for three years and had served only half his more than a three-year sentence for the possession and distribution of extremist material.  Whitehall sources said he had been very recently released 'despite concerns over his conduct' because the law did not give them the power to keep him locked up.  He was let out at the end of January on 'very stringent' licencing conditions included a curfew, it is understood.  Today, the Prime Minister is expected to come forward with new plans to further crackdown on terrorist offenders. 

'Die as a martyr': Terrorist revealed four 'life goals' in a chilling notebook

The Islamic terrorist shot dead by police in London yesterday kept a notebook with his four 'life goals' including being a martyr and going to paradise.  Sudesh Amman's notes were revealed when he was jailed for 13 terror offences at the Old Bailey, 14 months before his terror rampage in Streatham yesterday.  He kept a notebook in which he wrote that his 'goals in life' were: 'Die as a shuhada', which means martyr, and 'go-to Jannah', which translates as paradise.  It said: 'We need the jihad, the jihad doesn't need our goals in life: 1) Die as a shuhada; 2) Go to Jannah; 3) Have fun with all my hoor al-ayn; and 4) Party with my brothers and my mother in Jannah.'

The Old Bailey was also told during the sentencing hearing in December 2018 that Amman had been fascinated with carrying out a terror attack using a knife.  Speaking after he was jailed, Alexis Boon, then head of the Metropolitan Police Counter Terrorism Command, said of the notebook: 'Top of the list, above family activities, was dying a martyr and going to 'Jannah' the afterlife.'

In online messages with friends, Amman said he wanted to play violent computer game Call of Duty 'in real life'.  He also said he played Fortnite and video game Far Cry 5 in an exchange with other jihadis on the messaging service Telegram.  But the chat was infiltrated by undercover Dutch blogger Mark Van Den Berg, who then shared the extremist with UK intelligence agencies.  Agreeing for his screenshots from April 2018 to be released, Mr Van Den Berg said Amman went under the name Abu Malik on the app.  One screenshot shows Amman, whose handle is Strangertothisworld on the app, apparently admitting: 'I got ps4 too but I prefer Xbox.'

In another he says: 'Ugh too much police xddddddd just leave us all alone. We want to have fun with hoor al ayn XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD and play COD IRL.'

Amman then asks another Dutch or Belgian Jihadi, going under the name Ebu Darda: 'u got Fortnite?' to which Ebu replied: 'pc yea.'

What were the charges Sudesh Amman faced?

1.  Possession of an electronic document titled 'How to make a bomb in the kitchen of your mom'.
2.  Possession of an electronic document titled 'Bloody Brazilian Knife Fightin' Techniques'.
3.  Possession of an electronic document titled 'Close Combat' from a United States Marine Corps training manual.
4.  Possession of an electronic document titled 'US Army Knife Fighting Manual Techniques'.
5.  Possession of an electronic document titled 'Anarchists Cookbook- version 2000', a derivative of a book called the 'Anarchists Cookbook' first published in the USA in 1971.
6.  Possession of an electronic document titled 'Improvised munition handbook pdf', a US Army technical manual.
7.  Posted on his family WhatsApp group a link to a pdf copy of the 'Inspire 16' magazine and at the time of doing so intended an effect of this to be a direct or indirect encouragement or other inducements to the commission, preparation or instigation of acts of terrorism
8.  Dissemination of an electronic document titled 'Make a bomb in the kitchen of your mom'.
9.  Dissemination of an electronic document titled For the Sake of Allah (CAR/13)
10.  Dissemination of an electronic document titled al-e1b8a5ayc481t-media-center-22lets-go-for-jihc481d22_dvd.mp4
11.  Dissemination of an electronic document titled The-Islamic-state-22my-revenge22_dvd.mp4
12.  Dissemination of an electronic document titled theYNC.mp4
13.  Dissemination of an electronic document titled video1235.mp4

What Boris's government promised but so far NOTHING is in place

In the Queen's Speech before Christmas, following his December election win, Boris Johnson pledged to end the early release of dangerous terrorists and introduce minimum 14-year jail terms.  Last year two people were killed by convicted terrorist Usman Khan, 28, at Fishmongers' Hall after he attended a prisoner rehabilitation event.  He had been released on licence in December 2018.  'If you are convicted of a serious terrorist offence, there should be a mandatory minimum sentence of 14 years - and some should never be released,' the Prime Minister said then.  'Further, for all terrorism and extremist offences the sentence announced by the judge must be the time actually served - these criminals must serve every day of their sentence, with no exceptions.'

Mr. Johnson has now said the Government has 'moved quickly' to introduce measures to strengthen the UK's response to terrorism.  Last month details of The Counter-Terrorism (Sentencing and Release) Bill were released.  They included forcing dangerous terrorists who receive extended determinate sentences to serve the whole time behind bars, and scrapping early release from jail for those classed as dangerous and handed extended determinate sentences.  Terrorists deemed not to be a risk would have to serve two-thirds of their sentence before the Parole Board could consider them for release, as part of the bill.   The required legislation has yet to be passed by MPs as politicians concentrated on getting Brexit done. 

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7933385/Prince-William-Kate-Middleton-honour-victims-Holocaust.html

Prince William and Kate Middleton honour the six million Jews murdered by the Nazis as they mark the 75th anniversary of Auschwitz-Birkenau liberation on Holocaust Memorial Day in London

    Duke and Duchess of Cambridge attended today's ceremony at Westminster to mark the solemn anniversary 
    Prince William sheltered Kate with an umbrella as she walked into Westminster's Central Hall for the service
    The ceremony will remember the victims and survivors of Nazi persecutions as well as subsequent genocides   
    William read a letter written by a friend of his great-grandmother Princess Alice who helped save a Jewish family

By Rebecca English Royal Correspondent For The Daily Mail and Rory Tingle For Mailonline

Published: 15:32, 27 January 2020 | Updated: 18:29, 27 January 2020

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have met Holocaust survivors in London as they marked the 75th anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz-Birkenau concentration camp.  Kate and William honoured survivors by attending a commemorative service run by the Holocaust Memorial Day Trust at Central Hall in Westminster today.  William read an extract from a letter written by a friend of his great-grandmother Princess Alice famed for saving a Jewish family from the Holocaust about her good deeds.  The royal couple also lit candles in memory of those killed during Hitler's reign of terror in Europe, as well as genocides in Cambodia, Rwanda, Bosnia, and Darfur, before meeting survivors.  Kate shared a light-hearted exchange with Holocaust survivor Yvonne Bernstein, who was included in her personal portraits of victims of the atrocity, and beamed while shaking hands with another former camp victim Sir Ben Helfgott, who went on to represent Israel in the 1956 Olympics for weightlifting.  Boris Johnson also addressed service and said he felt 'a deep sense of shame' that anti-Semitism continues today and vowed to do everything in his power to stamp out the racism.  The deeply moving ceremony, which will be broadcast on BBC2 at 7 pm, reflected on one of the darkest periods in human history when 11million victims including six million Jews were gassed, shot and starved in Nazi death camps.  The notorious train-track entrance to Auschwitz, through which over a million were taken to their deaths, was stormed by the Red Army on January 27, 1945.  Prince William read out the letter from a friend of his great-grandmother's Princess Alice, which said: 'The princess put a small two-room apartment on the third floor at the disposal of Mrs. Cohen and her daughter. It was thanks to the courageous rescue of Princess Alice that the members of the Cohen family were saved.  'The members of the Cohen family left the residence three weeks after liberation, aware that by virtue of the princess's generosity and bravery had spared them from the Nazis.'

Last week Prince Charles, her grandson, visited her tomb on the Mount of Olives in Jerusalem.  Ahead of today's service, Olivia Marks-Woldman, chief executive of the Holocaust Memorial Day Trust, said she was pleased the royal couple had been able to attend the ceremony alongside members of the UK's political, civic and faith leaders.  She said: 'At a time when we know identity-based hostility is increasing, it is heartening to see so many people stand together both at the UK ceremony and at more than 10,000 local activities around the country.  'Holocaust Memorial Day is an important opportunity for us all to learn from genocide, for a better future.'

Photographs of survivors taken by the Duchess for an exhibition marking 75 years since the end of the Holocaust were released on Sunday.  Kate, who took the pictures at Kensington Palace earlier this month, has described the survivors in her portraits as 'two of the most life-affirming people that I have had the privilege to meet'.

Today's service was also attended by actors including Eastenders' Nina Wadia, Judge John Deed's Martin Shaw and stage star Sir Simon Russell Beale, all of whom are giving readings.  Meanwhile, the Duchess of Cornwall joined more than 200 Holocaust survivors who returned to Auschwitz-Birkenau to commemorate the anniversary of its liberation.  Camilla was among dignitaries from across the world who attended the service in Poland on Monday afternoon.  The ceremony was held in a tent erected around the camp's gatehouse, referred to as the Gate of Death by prisoners.  The Duchess led the UK delegation and was joined by concentration camp survivors Renee Salt, 90, and Hannah Lewis, 82.  Holocaust Memorial Day has taken place in the UK since 2001, with a UK event and over 10,000 local activities taking place on or around this date each year.  Kate's appearance comes after she released a set of moving photographs of Holocaust survivors inspired by the Dutch artist Johannes Vermeer.  Four survivors, alongside their children and grandchildren, featured in the moving new photographs.  Kate was among those behind the lens for the project and described the survivors in her portraits as 'two of the most life-affirming people that I have had the privilege to meet'.

Each of the portraits depicts the special connection between a survivor and younger generations of their family, who will carry the legacy of their grandparents.  One of Kate's two portraits was of 84-year-old Steven Frank, originally from Amsterdam, who survived multiple concentration camps as a child.  He was pictured alongside his granddaughters Maggie and Trixie Fleet, aged 15 and 13.  Kate's other portrait is of 82-year-old Yvonne Bernstein, originally from Germany, who was a hidden child in France throughout most of the Holocaust.  Her father was in Amsterdam on business when Kristallnacht took place in 1938 and was advised to go into hiding, before making it to the UK.  She is pictured with her granddaughter Chloe Wright, aged 11.  In a photograph by Frederic Aranda, Joan Salter, 79, who fled the Nazis as a young child, appears with her husband Martin and her daughter Shelley.  John Hajdu, 82, who survived the Budapest Ghetto, is in a portrait with his four-year-old grandson Zac photographed by Jillian Edelstein.  The project aims to inspire people across the UK to consider their own responsibility to remember and share the stories of those who endured persecution at the hands of the Nazis.  The portraits will be part of an exhibition that will open later this year, bringing together 75 powerful images of survivors and their family members to mark 75 years since the end of the Holocaust.
 
'Their stories will stay with me': Kate Middleton photographs Holocaust survivors to mark 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz as she draws inspiration from the Dutch artist Vermeer

David Wilkes for the Daily Mail 

Both came face to face with evil as children, lost loved ones and now want to ensure the truth is never forgotten.  Steven Frank, 84, was among only a handful of children to make it out alive from the last of the many concentration camps he was sent to.  By then his father had been gassed to death for speaking out against the Nazis.  Yvonne Bernstein, 82, was hidden as a child in France throughout most of the Second World War and her uncle was seized and murdered for shielding her.  To mark the 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, Mr. Frank and Mrs. Bernstein, who both settled in Britain after the war, have been photographed by the Duchess of Cambridge in moving family portraits for a new exhibition.  Kate, who is the patron of the Royal Photographic Society, said 'despite unbelievable trauma at the start of their lives' they were 'two of the most life-affirming people that I have had the privilege to meet'.

She added: 'They look back on their experiences with sadness but also with gratitude that they were some of the lucky few to make it through.  Their stories will stay with me forever.'

Kate has always had a passion for photography and she produced her undergraduate thesis on the era of photography, in particular, photographs of children.  One of Kate's favourite hobbies is photography and she regularly snaps pictures of her children for the Kensington Palace Instagram account.  Kate's official profile on the Monarchy's website includes a list of hobbies which features 'photography and painting', and explains: 'The Duchess's enthusiasm for photography saw her taking photographs as part of her role during her time working within Party Pieces, a family company owned and run by her parents.'

In 2018 Kate opened its Victorian Giants: The Birth of Art Photography exhibition, and penned the foreword to its catalogue, in which she discussed her passion for the medium.  The new photographs are reminiscent of the works of Johannes Vermeer, whose 17th-century Dutch paintings Kate enjoyed during a trip to The Hague in 2016.  They were released to mark Holocaust Memorial Day today and will be part of an exhibition later this year.  German-born Mrs. Bernstein was separated from her parents throughout the war and arrived in Britain in June 1945. 

Mr. Frank, who came from Amsterdam, survived near-starvation at Theresienstadt in Nazi-occupied

He has kept his mother's pan from their days in the concentration camps.  Kate understands the importance of art and has previously explored the 'birth of art photography in England'.  In 2017 she was named an honorary member of the Royal Photographic Society, with its chief executive Dr. Michael Pritchard FRPS commending her 'talent' and 'long-standing interest in photography and its history'.  Kate is not thought to have had any professional photography lessons and has developed her skills from her passion.  On Monday, both Kate and her husband Prince William will attend an event at Westminster Abbey to commemorate survivors of the Holocaust.
 
75 years to the day after they were freed from living hell, 200 Auschwitz survivors return to the Nazi death camp to mark the anniversary… and warn of rising anti-Semitism in the world

Survivors of the Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp are gathering for today's commemorations marking the 75th anniversary of the Soviet Army's liberation of the camp using the testimony of survivors to warn about the signs of rising anti-Semitism and hatred in the world today.  In all, more than 200 survivors of the camp are expected, many of them elderly Jews who have traveled far from homes in Israel, the United States, Australia, Peru, Russia, Slovenia and elsewhere.  Many lost parents and grandparents in Auschwitz or other Nazi death camps, but today were being joined in their journey back by children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren.  Some visited the site, now a memorial museum, on the eve of the anniversary. When asked by reporters for their reflections, they were eager to share their stories, hopeful that their message will spread.

'We would like that the next generation knows what we went through, and it should never happen again,' said 91-year-old David Marks, his voice cracking. He lost 35 members of his immediate and extended family after they all arrived in Auschwitz from their village in Romania.   A dictator doesn't come up from one day to the other,' Marks said, saying it happens in 'micro-steps.'

'If we don't watch it, one day you wake up and it's too late,' he added.

Most of the 1.1 million people murdered by the Nazi German forces at the camp were Jewish, but other Poles, Russians, and Roma, or Gypsies, were imprisoned there.  Some of the Polish survivors walked with Polish President Andrzej Duda through the camp's gate Monday wearing striped scarves that recalled the prison garb they wore more than 75 years ago.  Auschwitz was liberated by the Soviet army on Jan. 27, 1945.  World leaders gathered in Jerusalem last week to mark the anniversary in what many saw as a competing observance.  Among them were Russian President Vladimir Putin, U.S. Vice President Mike Pence, French President Emmanuel Macron and Britain's Prince Charles.  Politics intruded on that event, with Duda boycotting it in protest after Putin claimed that Poland played a role in triggering World War II.  Duda had wanted a chance to speak before or after Putin to defend his nation's record in face of those false accusations but was not given a speaking slot in Jerusalem.  Among those attending Monday's observances at Auschwitz, which is located in southern Poland, a region under German occupation during the war, were German President Frank-Walter Steinmeier, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban, Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelenskiy and Israeli President Reuven Rivlin.  Rivlin recalled the strong connection that Israel shares with Poland, which welcomed Jews for centuries. It became home to Europe's largest population of Jews - and later the center of Germany's destruction of that community.  'The glorious history of the Jews in Poland, the prosperity of which the Jewish community has enjoyed throughout history, along with the difficult events that have taken place on this earth, connect the Jewish people and the State of Israel, inextricably, with Poland and the Polish people,' Rivlin said while standing alongside Duda. 

London Mayor Sadiq Khan was guided through the camp by museum director Piotr Cywinski and viewed a plaque that includes the name of his city after it recently pledged a contribution of 300,000 pounds ($391,000) for the site's preservation.  Organizers of the event in Poland, the Auschwitz-Birkenau state memorial museum and the World Jewish Congress, sought to keep the spotlight on survivors.  'This is about survivors. It's not about politics,' Head of the World Jewish Congress, Ronald Lauder said Sunday, gathering at the death camp with several survivors.

Lauder warned that leaders must do more to fight anti-Semitism, including passing new laws to fight it.  On the eve of the commemorations, survivors, many leaning on their children and grandchildren for support, walked through the place where they had been brought in on cattle cars and suffered hunger, illness and near death.  They said they were there to remember, to share their histories with others, and to make a gesture of defiance toward those who had sought their destruction.  'We want the next generation to know what we went through and that it should never happen again,' Auschwitz survivor David Marks, 93, said earlier at the former death camp, his voice breaking with emotion.

Thirty-five members of his immediate and extended family of Romanian Jews were killed in Auschwitz, the largest of Nazi Germany's camps that have come to symbolise the six million European Jews who died in the Holocaust.  For some, the camp is now the only burial ground for their parents and grandparents, and they will be saying kaddish, the Jewish prayer for the dead.  'I have no graves to go to and I know my parents were murdered here and burned. So this is how I pay homage to them,' said Yvonne Engelman, a 92-year-old who came from Australia, joined by three more generations now scattered around the globe.

She recalled being brought in from a ghetto in Czechoslovakia by cattle car, being stripped of her clothes, shaved and put in a gas chamber.  By some miracle, the gas chamber that day did not work, and she went on to survive slave labor and a death march.  A 96-year-old survivor, Jeanette Spiegel, was 20 when she was brought to Auschwitz, where she spent nine months.  Today she lives in New York City and is fearful of rising anti-Semitic violence in the United States.  'I think they pick on the Jews because we are such a small minority and it is easy to pick on us,' she said, fighting back tears.

'Young people should understand that nothing is for sure, that some terrible things can happen and they have to be very careful. And that, God, forbid, what happened to the Jewish people then should never be repeated.'

'As I trudged the railway tracks of death, I felt my lost grandfather beside me': On the 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, ALEX BRUMMER, whose grandparents were gassed at the camp, recalls his own heartbreaking pilgrimage

Alex Brummer for the Daily Mail 

As I followed the railway tracks which had carried Jews from every last corner of Europe to this dreadful place, the fragile emotions, held under careful control for so long, came to the surface.  I was visiting Auschwitz as part of a British government delegation and had briefly escaped the evening's formalities from which I had felt strangely unmoved and detached.  But on my own in the darkness, trudging through the thick snow of that Polish winter, my mind turned to my grandfather Sandor after whom I was named and grandmother Fanya.  I never met them. They were gassed and their bodies burned here.  At the end of the dimly lit line, there was a platform and a place to light the yahrzeit memorial candle handed to me as I'd left the gathering. In the background, I could hear the echoes of the prayer of remembrance for the six million victims of the Holocaust being recited.  All of a sudden the tears began to flow and I was overwhelmed by the place just as I had been on my first pilgrimage more than a decade before.  On that occasion, I had a feeling biblical in its intensity that grandfather Sandor was standing at my side, dressed in his long, dark Sabbath coat, his red beard ruffled by the wind; he was emaciated from illness and hunger, but smiling to see me there.  I cannot shake off that image of him. Yet I had never met him and have never seen a photograph. In the haste with which he and my grandmother were removed from their home in the foothills of Hungary's Carpathian mountains in June 1944, family snaps were lost.  But it was not just Sandor and Fanya who came into my mind on my visits to the death camp. I thought, too, of my uncles, Danny, Ference, and Ignatz, who died in work camps after they were taken from their families at the outbreak of war.  And I remembered my two aunts and a cousin.  Miraculously, they survived the brutality of those who guarded them in Auschwitz, the excruciating hunger pangs and the penetrating cold which made their bones ache in the bleak mid-European winter beneath the flimsy, rough-cotton, concentration camp garb.  And there was another uncle, my father's brother Martin, who emerged from his own odyssey of hell in the camps where he was tortured after his escape attempt was thwarted.  The 75th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau, commemorating the moment Russian troops uncovered the horrors that lay within this vast complex in southern Poland, was marked on Thursday at Yad Vashem in Jerusalem, Israel's memorial to the Holocaust. Prince Charles was among more than 40 world leaders to attend.  Today, Holocaust Memorial Day and the actual anniversary of the liberation will be honoured at Auschwitz itself and in London. But with each passing commemoration, the distance of time reduces the number of those who were witnesses to the atrocities.  Members of my own family who were affected have passed on in recent years. My father Michael, who came to Britain as a refugee after the war had broken out, died in 2018.  The uncle who survived the camps has also gone. Amazingly, the three other survivors my father's two sisters and niece live on, now in their 90s.  Their immense fortitude, the spirit which kept them alive through the worst horrors of the 20th century, remains intact.  But for these women, who experienced first-hand the barbarity of the Nazis and their fascist Hungarian collaborators, recent years have not been easy as echoes of the past have returned in the form of anti-Semitism.  Here in Britain, this most tolerant of countries, anti-Semitism in the Labour Party dominated headlines during last year's general election campaign.  Chief Rabbi Ephraim Mirvis felt the need to caution that the 'very soul of the nation is at stake'. That did not prevent swastikas being daubed on buildings in the London suburb of Hampstead.  This is why, on this anniversary, it is more important than ever to remind the world where anti-Semitism can lead because there can be no starker illustration of it than Auschwitz-Birkenau.  My grandparents were dairy farmers and life was hard. My grandfather was up before the crack of dawn every day to do the milking. But there were relaxing family moments, too.  On Sabbath afternoons, in fine weather, he would gather the children around him under the overhanging pear tree in the garden, reading from The Bible and studying with the older boys.  In the evenings, he would be joined on the terrace by friends from the village; they would drink a little schnapps, tell stories and play cards and draughts.  His mother, meanwhile, would busy herself in the kitchen preparing her specialties, including rolled cabbage leaves filled with meat, rice, and spices, served with paprika and tomato sauce.  My father Michael left home at 14 to become apprenticed to a glassworker in Pressburg now Bratislava in Slovakia. He later trained as a naval officer at a college near Genoa that had been established by Zionists.  In 1938, as the grip of Nazi Germany tightened across Europe, my father decided to join his elder brother Philip who was a rabbi near Liverpool. Before he left, he returned to visit his parents in Hungary and was beaten up by fascist thugs when he arrived at the station in his home town close to the Hungarian-Czech border.  But he managed to see his family and resolved then to take his younger brother Martin with him. At the crossing into Czechoslovakia, however, Martin was turned back by border guards and my father continued to Britain alone. Six years later, in 1944, Adolf Eichmann, the architect of the Final Solution, issued orders for Hungary's Jews to be rounded up and transported to the death camps.  For most of my childhood, the Holocaust was a forbidden subject, only talked about in knowing whispers. But over the years, piece by piece, I have pulled together the story of those family members who entered the gates of Auschwitz.  I learned that it was the courage and tenacity of my cousin, Shindy then a teenager who helped to keep my two aunts, Rosie and Sussie, alive amid the inhumanity. It was she who bargained for bread and made the deals that ensured their survival in the camp.  My father made his way through a Europe already at war and eventually arrived at London's Victoria station and, by accident, in the ladies' waiting room. There, he was befriended by an 'elegant English lady' who helped him across the city and put him on a train for Liverpool. From that single act of kindness, he developed a lifelong admiration for British tolerance.  It was only after the war, in 1947, that my father and his elder brother Philip both by then settled in Brighton received a telegram out of the blue from the Swedish Red Cross.  It said that they had three young women by the name of Brummer who claimed to have relatives in Britain. Was this so?

Could they be returned to the family?

Would my father and his brother be willing to pay the passage to the UK?

It was a joyous moment. Nothing had been heard of them in the years since the war ended, and it was assumed that they had perished in the gas chambers like my grandparents.  Meanwhile, my father's younger brother Martin had been moved between work camps and death camps. It transpired that, on an attempted escape from one camp, the Nazi guards seized him and tied him down on the railway lines to punish him. They left him there for many hours in the bitter cold and only cut him loose seconds before an approaching locomotive bore down on him.  Martin's survival he died five years ago in Israel and those of the three women has always felt like a small victory against the vicious cruelty that cost my grandparents their lives.  But still, the shadow cast by the Nazis will always fall blackly upon my family, which is why I felt it so important to go to pay my respects at the place where they fell.  I have now been twice to that place of death to bear witness, to heed the words of Nobel Peace Prize-winning author Elie Wiesel: 'Never shall I forget these things, even if I am condemned to live as long as God himself. Never.' 

On my first visit in the Nineties, we drove past cultivated fields and white-painted houses with bright orange roofs on the hour-long journey from Krakow airport to Auschwitz.  By the time we crossed those infamous railway tracks and saw the most chilling station name in the world, the sky had darkened, with a swirling wind and pelting rain. The horror of what faced us became real, and a dull ache grew in the pit of my stomach.  Today, this is not some remote facility; it is surrounded by industrial buildings with shops and petrol stations, their architecture blending into that of Auschwitz 1 the main camp itself. It is a death camp in suburbia.  And yet the smell of burning corpses which decades later still permeates the nearby crematoria seems to linger here, too, a horrific reminder of what took place inside the gates with their iron sign that reads 'Arbeit Macht Frei' (Work brings freedom).  There is nothing immediately alarming about Auschwitz 1. The reconstructed barracks, surrounded by grass verges and lined with trees, could be mistaken for a housing estate. But at Block 4, there is a quiet, terrible reality.  In a stark room, where the smell of chemical preservative takes one by surprise, a human hair is piled up like a mountain.  Shaved from Jews before they were led to gas chambers, much of the hair is grey now, turned so by time and poor conservation. Yet still, I searched for a trace of red a family trait as if it could be possible there was a direct link to be found here. We sheltered from the bitter weather next to Block 10. This was a gruesome spot, where Nazi doctor Josef Mengele experimented on women.  And my mind flashed back to the hushed tones of my childhood: visiting an aunt in Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, her health permanently damaged by her time in the camp, after she had given birth to a tiny baby kept alive only by the skills of modern medicine.  The physical scars may have healed but the psychological impact has cascaded down the generations. The survivors in my family live with the past every day.  My Aunt Rosie lost her sense of smell because of the stench of the camps. The filth she was forced to live with left her with an obsession over cleanliness.  When I last spent time with my Uncle Martin (my father's younger brother), his body began to shudder and he was quickly moved to tears as he remembered his personal torment in a different death camp.  And if you set foot in one of these places, even for a few hours, it is easy to understand why survival was truly a life sentence.  How could it not be so if you had witnessed monstrosities such as Auschwitz's 'Wall of Death', where thousands of prisoners, having been tried by Gestapo kangaroo courts, were summarily shot and their bodies dragged away on carts to the permanently smoldering funeral pyres. Next to that wall today, barbed wire stands bleakly against the sky.  Nearby, one can climb down into the only gas chamber not destroyed by the SS as Russian troops approached. Standing under the grates in the ceiling, through which the Zyklon B gas was released on to naked Jewish bodies, tears flowed again down my face. That faint smell of burning, from the crematorium next door, intensified the overwhelming effect.  There are rough wooden barracks as far as the eye can see, punctuated by the chimneys of the Nazi death factory. Inside, the roughly hewn wooden bunks, which each held five or six souls, are intact. Seeing them, I recalled the stories of my aunts huddling together for warmth.  Grass now grows around the buildings but at the entrances, where our feet sank into the mud and ashes, one could almost smell the fetid stink of human decay.  We walked for a mile or so down the side of the railway track that brought in the cattle trucks of Jews, Romanies and political dissidents from every corner of occupied Europe. Journeys of 1,200 miles or more, without food or water, journeys on which the corpses would eventually outnumber the living.  I recalled my cousin describing her departure from Hungary: the Jews begging through the cattle-truck openings for water from the Hungarians who had been their childhood friends and neighbours. Instead, they were offered salt.  The tragic roll call of the members of my family who perished my grandparents Sandor and Fanya, my uncles Danny, Ference, and Ignatz must never be erased.  And for the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren of survivors and refugees, who have enjoyed good lives in Britain, it is fitting that the Duchess of Cornwall, with world leaders and other dignitaries, will today share in our grief at Auschwitz, standing shoulder to shoulder with the last survivors in tribute to the millions who were brutalised, starved and slaughtered.  They will remember them again and weep for a generation that must never be forgotten.

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https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7930861/NHS-staff-briefed-handle-dead-bodies-infected-coronavirus.html

Number of UK patients tested for coronavirus rises to 52 while NHS staff are briefed on how to handle DEAD BODIES as Britain is put on high alert and GPs are told to QUARANTINE suspected victims

    Public Health England said corpses must be put in sealed bags because the virus can escape through lungs
    Medics have told to wear 'full-face visors' and GPs are to avoid any suspected victims and quarantine them
    The lethal virus from China has stricken two in Paris, another in Bordeaux and is 'accelerating', the dossier says
    It comes as the number of cases worldwide soared to more than 2,000, with 56 dead in China
    52 people have been screened by NHS up by 21 patients on yesterday but all tests have come back negative
    Home Secretary Priti Patel said the Government was 'looking at all options' to help Britons leave Wuhan

By Ross Ibbetson For Mailonline

Published: 09:57, 26 January 2020 | Updated: 17:50, 26 January 2020

The number of UK patients tested for coronavirus has jumped to 52 with NHS staff being briefed on how to handle corpses infected with the lethal Chinese virus after it spread to three locations in nearby France.  The dossier published by Public Health England warns that the virus which has stricken two in Paris and another in Bordeaux is 'accelerating.' It comes as the number of cases worldwide soared to more than 2,000, with 56 dead in China.  PHE's document obtained by The Sunday Times advises: 'The act of moving a recently deceased patient onto a hospital trolley for transportation to the mortuary might be sufficient to expel small amounts of air from the lungs and thereby present a minor risk.  A body bag should be used for transferring the body and those handling the body at this point should use full PPE [personal protective equipment].'

Furthermore, medics meeting any potentially infected people should wear 'full-face visors,' while GPs should avoid contact with patients and place them into immediate quarantine.  'In the absence of effective drugs or a vaccine, control of this disease relies on the prompt identification, appropriate risk assessment, management and isolation of possible cases,' the document adds.

As of Sunday afternoon, 52 people across the UK had been tested for the deadly flu-like virus a rise of 21 on yesterday but all tests were confirmed as negative.   Home Secretary Priti Patel said the Government was 'looking at all options' to help Britons leave Wuhan following reports that officials have been asked to examine the logistics for an airlift from the city.  It comes as the Foreign Office last night prepared a charter flight for around 200 British citizens and diplomats trapped in Wuhan, where 11million is on lock-down.  Meanwhile, health officials are continuing to track down around 2,000 people who have recently flown into the UK from Wuhan.  Yet thousands of revellers celebrated Chinese new year in central London despite worries about coronavirus spreading to the UK.  Infection concerns did not dampen festivities, as a 50-foot golden dragon and a bagpipe procession travelled from Charing Cross to Chinatown where hundreds of red lanterns lined the streets.  It comes as a top Chinese health official said today that the new virus was becoming more contagious than SARS from the same family of coronaviruses which killed nearly 650 people across Beijing and Hong Kong in 2003.  The three patients in France are doing 'very well,' France's director-general of health Jerome Salomon said.  However, Mayor of Paris Anne Hidalgo said Sunday that the Chinese Lunar New Year parade in the city where two are infected was being cancelled as a 'precaution.'   'Yesterday, I met members of the Chinese community in Paris who themselves wished to cancel the procession' scheduled for Republique square, the mayor told reporters.   

Health officials in France were tracking other people the three had been in contact with.  Britain's Department of Health confirmed it is trying to find 'as many passengers as we can' who arrived from Wuhan in the past two weeks to check on their wellbeing.  It is understood Border Force officers have been recruited to help speed up the search for passengers as testing for the virus continues in the UK.  One British man who had travelled to Wuhan to visit his girlfriend is stuck in the city after his return flight on February 3 was cancelled, and he described trying to get out of the area as 'impossible'.  The 29-year-old, who did not want to be named, said: 'There have been sporadic warnings from local government in Chinese to tell us that there will be road closures.  There is no news on when the airport will re-open therefore the airline (China Southern) have just cancelled the flight.  I've also had no help from the UK Embassy in Beijing who are conveniently closed for the weekend.'

England's Chief Medical Officer Professor Chris Whitty said there is a 'fair chance' cases will emerge in Britain.  The professor spoke following a meeting of the Government's Cobra emergency committee in Whitehall on Friday, chaired by Health Secretary Matt Hancock.  He said: 'I am working closely with the other UK chief medical officers.  We all agree that the risk to the UK public remains low, but there may well be cases in the UK at some stage.'

He added: 'The UK has access to some of the best infectious disease and public health experts in the world.  A public health hub will be set up in Heathrow from today. This consists of clinicians and other public health officials, in addition to existing port health measures.'

In an interview, Prof Whitty said: 'We think there's a fair chance we may get some cases over time.  'Of course, this depends on whether this continues for a long time, or whether this turns out to be something which is brought under control relatively quickly.'

He added: 'I think we should definitely see this as a marathon, not a sprint, we need to have our entire response based on that principle.  'At the minute it definitely looks like this is a lot less dangerous if you get it than Ebola, and a lot less dangerous than the recent coronavirus MERS, and it's probably less dangerous if you get it than SARS virus.  'What we don't know is how far it's going to spread, that really is something we need to plan for all eventualities.'

Suzan Tokdemir, 51, an English teacher, took the photos after flying into Beijing International Airport on Saturday evening after travelling on an almost-empty flight into the Chinese capital city from Hong Kong.  Ms Tokdemir took pictures of cabin crew on the Hong Kong Airlines flight wearing masks while serving refreshments from the trolley.  In another the outside of the airport, only three people could be seen in a usually packed area.  The airport in the Chinese capital city has ranked second-busiest airport in the world every year since 2010 and usually sees around 100 million passengers pass through it a year.  Ms Tokdemir, who teaches English at an international middle school in Beijing, said: 'It was quite eery. It's not what you'd expect at Beijing Airport.  It took me 15 minutes from getting off the plane to standing outside the front of the airport that included collecting my luggage, passport check, fingerprint scan, everything.  On the flight, there were only about 50 passengers. I looked around as was getting off the plane, and I estimated there can't have been much more than 50 people.  It was one of the big planes, with eight seats across in a row, but they put us all at the back of the plane the front half of the plane was completely empty.  All the flight attendants were masked, and most of the passengers were too.  They took them off to eat the food and then put them straight back on.  Before we got off, they came round and disinfected the plane, and there was an announcement telling people to declare any symptoms they might have,' Ms Tokdemir added.

Ms Tokdemir, who left Phuket, Thailand on Friday morning, and flew back to Beijing via Bangkok and Hong Kong, said it was 'spooky' to see the numbers dwindle on each of her connecting flights.  'Even at Hong Kong airport, almost everyone was masked,' she said.

'At Beijing International Airport, we had to keep taking our masks off, so that our faces could be identified which sort of defeats the point.'

And she added that even the motorway in Beijing was 'empty', saying: 'Usually you can hardly move on the motorway. The coronavirus has emptied Beijing.  I had hired a driver to take me home, and he got stopped by masked police on the way back and had his temperature checked.  It was really spooky, it was like something out of a sci-fi movie,' said Ms Tokdemir.

She is due to return to work on February 7, after four weeks off to mark Chinese New Year.  But Ms Tokdemir said that some of her colleagues, who have left the country during the break, are unsure about whether to return.

Reporting by SWNS

Coronavirus fears fail to dampen Chinese New Year celebrations in London

Thousands of revellers, including many from China, celebrated Chinese new year in central London despite worries about coronavirus spreading to the UK.  Many people welcoming the Year of the Rat in the biggest celebration for the lunar festival outside China were wearing filter masks to protect themselves against the respiratory virus.  But coronavirus worries did not dampen festivities, as a 50-foot golden dragon and a bagpipe procession travelled from Charing Cross to Chinatown where hundreds of red lanterns lined the streets.  Outside restaurants and cafes in Chinatown, people were queuing down the street, and many gathered to watch firecrackers heralding the start of the celebrations in Trafalgar Square.  Meanwhile, the Foreign Office has urged Britons trapped in the Hubei province of China, which has been on lockdown for several days following the coronavirus outbreak, to leave the area if they are able to.  Chinese student Siyan Li, from Shandong, was wearing a face mask as she celebrated in Chinatown because she was 'afraid' of the virus.  The 22-year-old Nottingham University student said: 'China has advised everyone to stay at home and not come out. I'm afraid.  I don't know if there are many people with this kind of fear, but I think this (the mask) is a good way to protect myself.'

Conan Zhao, 35, and his wife Daisy Huang, 27, were holidaying in London for Chinese new year and were also wearing masks as 'a precaution'.  Mr Zhao, from Shenzhen in China, said: 'The most important thing is self-protection - you need to protect yourself, but there is no need to worry.'

He added: 'We came here for Chinese new year, and it's our first time in London.  Chinese people have come to London for a very long time and we wanted to see how people celebrate Chinese new year here.'

Lily Ferreira and Katerina Jelinkova, two volunteers helping to manage the festivities for the London Chinatown Chinese Association (LCCA), said they were worried about the effect of the virus on their performers from China.  Miss Ferreira, a 25-year-old music and business student from Portugal who was wearing a mask, said: 'Some of our performers came from China, so we were worried about getting them here, but it hasn't been a problem.'

Miss Jelinkova, 22, from the Czech Republic, said she would wear a mask in central London anyway because of air pollution.  Phillip Rowell, a British scriptwriter who lived in Hong Kong and Singapore during the Sars virus outbreak in 2003, said he was not worried about another respiratory virus from the region.  Mr Rowell, 49, who was celebrating with his wife and son, said: 'We lived through a few of those things in Asia, we had Sars when we were there and I always think it looks worse on the news.  I'm sure it's serious, but the numbers (of those infected) are actually quite low at the moment, so I wasn't really worried about being around Chinese people or anything like that.  We had breakfast in a Chinese dim sum place this morning, it was packed, people were waiting for tables, there was no sense of people staying away.'

He added he has 'faith in the Chinese government' because they 'learned their lesson' after Sars, which killed 774 people in 17 countries.  Elaine Lui, a Newcastle University media student from south-east China, also said she was confident precautions in China would help to tackle the virus.  She said: 'I have a friend in Wuhan but I'm not worried. The Chinese people, we will protect ourselves and also protect everyone else.'

Suzanne Corbin, 64, from Whitstable, Kent, said she 'definitely' thought about coronavirus before coming to the festival, but 'decided the risk was really low'.  She said: 'I come every year because I love the tradition of the Chinese new year.  I love the dragons, the dancing, the noise, the celebration of spring. There's a lot of people out enjoying it.'

Can tourists still travel to China?

Flights to mainland available but foreign office warn against going to Hubei

Flights to and from China are still available, but tourists will be hamstrung in their ability to travel on the mainland.  The UK Foreign Office has advised against all travel to the Hubei province where the coronavirus spawned.  The eastern city of Wuhan is under lock-down and the government has enforced an effective travel ban.  Four cities including Beijing, Shanghai, and the eastern province of Shandong announced bans on long-distance buses from entering or leaving their borders.  Cruise operators including Royal Caribbean Cruises and Costa Cruises said they had cancelled a combined 12 cruises that had been scheduled to embark from Chinese ports before Feb 2.  Many cinemas across China were closed with major film premieres postponed.  Shanghai Disneyland, which expected 100,000 visitors daily through the holiday period, has already closed.  Airports around the world have stepped up screening of passengers from China, although some health officials and experts have questioned the effectiveness of these efforts.

309
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7904325/Daughter-tells-never-forgive-mother-heartbreak-seeing-marry-ex.html

'My mum paid £15,000 for my dream wedding then had a BABY with my husband nine months later': Daughter, 34, tells how she can never forgive mother, 53, after ultimate betrayal and heartbreak at seeing her marry ex, 35,

    Lauren Wall's husband walked out on her just weeks after the wedding
    Her mum Julie denies having an affair but went on to marry her daughter's ex
    Lauren Wall ended up attending the wedding for the sake of her own daughter

By Chantalle Edmunds For Mailonline

Published: 13:32, 19 January 2020 | Updated: 16:50, 19 January 2020

A woman who lost her husband to her own mother has said she will never fully forgive her for taking him away and then having his child.  Lauren Wall, who's now 34, and from Twickenham, south-west London married airport worker Paul White when she was just 19.  Her mum Julie, who is now 53, paid for a £15,000 wedding and grateful Lauren took her along on her two-week honeymoon to Devon.  Eight weeks later, husband Paul moved out and nine months later, her mother Julie gave birth to his child announcing they were together.  Lauren said: 'Paul always got on really well with mum. I never thought it strange though, as she was his mum-in-law and he was just being friendly.  They'd laugh a lot together. I didn't think to be worried at all. Who would?  I couldn't wait to settle into marriage but the ink was barely dry on our certificate when Paul changed.' 

Lauren added her new husband became protective of his phone. Four weeks later Lauren's sister was using her mum's phone and found what Lauren claims were texts between Julie and Paul.  Her mother denied there was anything going on saying, 'You're crazy.'

'When I confronted Paul he went white as a sheet and refused to let me see his phone,' Lauren said.

Only days later, Paul removed his wedding ring and walked out on Lauren and their seven-month-old daughter.  When she heard he had moved in with her mum she said she couldn't believe the two people she loved and trusted more than anything in the world would treat her in such a way.  'It was sick. It's one of the worst things a mum can do to a daughter.  Paul may have been a gutless groom but she's my mum. She's meant to love and protect me above all others.'   

Lauren, a business development manager met Paul when he was 18: 'I met him at a local pub I fancied him straight away.  He asked for my number and the next day he texted asking to go on a date to the cinema. We started going out straight after that.'

She quickly found herself pregnant and their daughter was born in March 2004, the pair marrying shortly afterwards.  'Five months later we were getting married in a beautiful church ceremony with friends and family. Mum looked on proudly as we exchanged vows.  He told me that he wanted to be with me forever.'   

Lauren recalled how after Paul walked out she heard rumours he was living with her mother and she saw Julie walking down the street, apparently pregnant.  Lauren said: 'When I saw her in the street and noticed she had a bump, my mind raced. She clutched her stomach and told me, 'It's a cyst'. I felt so sick, I went home and destroyed all the photos of our wedding.'

She also set about getting a divorce. In July 2005 nine months after Paul had walked out, Lauren's mum, Julie, gave birth to his baby.  'She tried to claim the father was another boyfriend but I knew the truth. Paul and mum officially announced themselves as a couple that summer and my world crumbled.'

Five years on from his marriage to Lauren, Paul married Julie.  Lauren even ended up going along to her mum's wedding for the sake of her daughter.  'She rang me up and invited me. It was awkward. I got married on the 14th August 2004, they married on the 15th of August 2009.  It was almost too much to bear but I did it for my daughter.  I went to watch Mum marry the same man I'd wed five years earlier.'

Lauren said her mother has tried to build bridges but she sees her infrequently.  'She initiated it. I dropped my brother off at her house and she got in my car, started crying and just said, 'I'm sorry'.  I told her, 'Get out of my car'. She wrote me a letter a couple of weeks later apologising.  And that was the start of us mending our relationship.'

That was in 2006 and the pair still fall out.  'I still bring it up and make a comment and she doesn't like it.  Just because we spoke after doesn't mean I'm over it. Paul never said sorry or tried to apologise to me.  I speak to him as he's married to my mum. I've asked him before to explain to our daughter and he just says it's forgotten about now.' 

Her mother, who works in child services remains married to her former son-in-law.  Lauren has recently found a new partner and is now happily pregnant with her fourth child but says what happened will give her 'trust issues' for the rest of her life.   'Time is a great healer, and mum and I have tried to have a normal relationship. But we will never be as close as we were and I'll never fully trust her again.'

Julie, 53, said: 'We are married. We didn't have an affair. We are married and that's it.'

Paul, now 35, declined to comment.       

310
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7900713/The-days-hell-Survivors-account-final-hours-Auschwitz-Birkenau.html

Auschwitz the last days of hell: Exactly 75 years after its last inmates were freed, the survivors of one of humanity's most vile atrocities tell their heartwrenching accounts

By Jonathan Mayo For The Daily Mail
Published: 22:01, 17 January 2020 | Updated: 00:21, 18 January 2020

On July 11, 1944, Winston Churchill was shown evidence provided by four escapees from Auschwitz of the mass murder of Jews at the extermination camp.  For two years, the Nazis had managed to keep the gas chambers in Auschwitz, southern Poland, a secret.  Churchill wrote to his Foreign Secretary Anthony Eden: ‘There is no doubt this is probably the greatest and most horrible crime ever committed in the whole history of the world all concerned in this crime who may fall into our hands, including people who only obeyed orders by carrying out the butcheries, should be put to death.’

The complex at Auschwitz was the principal Nazi extermination camp in World War II, covering at least 15 square miles.  The site was chosen for the camp because the main railway lines from Germany and Poland passed through the area. Prisoners deported there had to pay their own rail fare, calculated by kilometres travelled.  Auschwitz contained five crematoria, made and patented by German engineering company Töpf and Sons, who had worked out they could dispose of 4,756 corpses a day.  The crematoria contained gas chambers, mortuaries and changing rooms. These had numbered hooks, suggesting the prisoners would return to collect their belongings.  By the summer of 1944, the German army was retreating across Western Europe and, crucially for the inmates of Auschwitz, the Soviets were advancing towards Poland. Panic had set in among the SS guards, who feared for their lives at the hands of the ruthless Red Army when it arrived.  The end was in sight for the few survivors of one of humanity’s most vile atrocities...

January 5, 1945
Snow is lying thickly on the ground across the Auschwitz complex. Temperatures are well below freezing.  The Soviet Red Army is only a few miles away. Many SS officers and their families have already left, with cases full of valuables plundered from murdered inmates.

January 6
The prisoners in the women’s camp are ordered out of their barracks to watch a hanging.  The SS have identified four women working as slave labourers at the nearby IG Farben industrial plant as the suppliers of explosives used in an attack on the guards.  Just before a noose is put around her neck, one of the women, Ala Gertner, calls out: ‘You’ll pay for this! I shall die now, but your turn will come soon!’

January 17
The brutal Nazi doctor Joseph Mengele, known as ‘The Angel of Death’, flees Auschwitz, taking with him all the evidence of his experiments on the prisoners, most of them children.  His sadistic procedures included injecting chemicals into the eyes of living subjects in a bid to change their colour, sewing twin boys together back to back in a crude attempt to create conjoined twins, and removing organs without anaesthetic.

January 18
Columns of smoke rise over Auschwitz as the SS frantically burn death certificates, files and other written evidence of their crimes in huge bonfires.  Today a mass evacuation of the camp will begin; prisoners well enough to march will be taken to other camps further west.  Of the 67,000 inmates who remain at Auschwitz, about 56,000 are to be led away.  The rest, too sick to move, will be left behind to die. At midnight, the inmates are lined up.  ‘A cold wind blew in our faces. We talked about nothing but where they were taking us and what they intended to do with us,’ said Filip Müller, a survivor of three years in the camp.

These ‘death marches’ are being replicated in camps all over Poland, Germany, Czechoslovakia and Austria.  The prisoners are escorted by SS guards desperate to avoid advancing Soviet troops.  They have heard guards from Majdanek extermination camp have been executed as war criminals.  Some have got rid of their SS uniforms and are dressed in the rags of their victims.  As many as 250,000 people will die on the roads before the end of the war.

January 19
Those on the death marches from Auschwitz survive by eating the snow on the shoulders of the people in front of them; if they bend down to pick up the slush they risk being shot.  As the prisoners march slowly west through Poland, SS Lieutenant Colonel Rudolf Hoess is heading in the opposite direction.  Hoess had been given the task of building Auschwitz by Himmler and had been the camp’s brutal commandant, living in luxury with his wife and five children just 100 yards from the campgrounds.  He is driving back to Auschwitz, past what he describes as ‘stumbling columns of corpses’, to make sure all evidence linking him to the genocide has been destroyed.  But Hoess will be forced to turn his car around as the Russians advance towards him. In 1946, he will be captured and a year later hanged at Auschwitz.

January 22
Twenty-six-year-old Primo Levi, who arrived in Auschwitz in February 1944 as part of a transport of Jews from Italy, has spent the past 11 days in the infirmary suffering from scarlet fever.  But he feels well enough to explore the camp with a French schoolteacher named Charles. Emboldened by the shrinking numbers of guards, they venture into the SS quarters.  They find bowls full of half-frozen soup, mugs of beer and a chessboard left mid-game.  Primo and Charles load up with medicines, vodka, newspapers and eiderdowns to take back to the infirmary.  Half an hour later, a unit of SS return to the quarters and find 18 French Jews in the SS dining hall. They are all shot in the head and their bodies dumped in the snow.

January 23
Soviet planes attack the IG Farben plant nearby, but stray bombs land on a British POW camp called E715 that is part of the Auschwitz complex.  Its 230 POWs have not been part of the Auschwitz death march and are hiding in air-raid shelters.  For the past few weeks, they have watched injured German soldiers walk past their camp and are convinced victory is imminent; they are desperate to survive what may be the last few weeks of the war.  Just before daybreak, the bombing ends and the German guards order the British POWs to assemble at the main gate of the camp.  Twenty-five-year-old Arthur Dodd from Cheshire, a prisoner at Auschwitz for 14 months, makes his way through the snow. During his time at the camp, his weight has dropped from 10st to 6st.  When Arthur reaches the camp gates he is amazed to find them wide open. A senior German officer tells the POWs they are free to leave and can head east to meet the Soviets or west towards the Americans and British.  Arthur fears the Russians and so decides he would rather take the longer route west.  Only four soldiers opt to walk towards the Russian lines. Arthur hears later that they were mown down by Russian tanks.  Inmates employed at Auschwitz’s Identification Service have been instructed by the SS to destroy the thousands of negatives of prisoners’ ID photographs.  The photos were intended to be a way to identify prisoners if they escaped, but their rapid emaciation made these images useless.  Two inmates, Wilhelm Brasse and Bronislaw Jureczek, keen to preserve evidence of the atrocities at Auschwitz, pull more than 40,000 negatives from the flames.

January 25
The SS sentries have been removed from the watchtowers at Auschwitz and most of the guards have fled, but the killings don’t stop.   In one sick-bay the SS shoot 350 Jewish patients in their beds. Since Arthur Dodd and the rest of the British POWs from E715 left Auschwitz, they have walked more than 50 miles, often treading on bodies half covered in snow.  Arthur is at the rear and regularly has to stop to persuade his fellow soldiers to keep walking. Some give up and die.  The men are all beginning to suffer from frostbite. Every time Arthur closes his eyes, his eyelids freeze. A sergeant trots up and down the line, encouraging the men with promises of food and shelter at the end of the day.  Many weeks later, Arthur finally makes it to Regensburg, south-east Germany, where he is liberated by American troops.

January 27, 8 am
In Auschwitz town, Red Army soldiers are fighting pitched battles with the retreating German troops.  Much of the town was built for the 3,000 SS guards and their families. A total of 231 Soviet soldiers die liberating Auschwitz town and the camps.

3 pm
A unit of Red Army soldiers arrives at the gates of Auschwitz and slowly makes its way inside. Ten-year-old Eva Kor and her twin sister, Miriam, are lying in their bunks. For the past nine months, the girls have been subject to inhuman experiments by Dr Mengele who has killed about 1,500 pairs of twins in two years.  Eva and Miriam fought to stay alive for each other because they know that, if one dies, the other will be surplus to requirements.  The girls hear shouts of ‘We’re free! We’re free!’, and they run to the door of the barracks but can’t see anything in the snow.

It takes a few moments before they can spot Soviet soldiers in white camouflage.  The girls, dressed in rags and covered in lice, the run-up to the soldiers who give them biscuits and chocolate.  It is the hugs the twins receive from the soldiers that are more precious.  Eva recalled: ‘A hug meant more than anyone could imagine. We were not only starved of food but of human kindness.’

Primo Levi and his friend, Charles, are on their way to a communal grave, carrying a stretcher containing the body of a man who died in the night, when they see four Soviet soldiers on horseback ‘Four messengers of peace, with rough and boyish faces beneath their heavy fur hats’.

Ten-year-old Paula Lebovics watches the Soviet soldiers and thinks they look ‘tattered and worn and beaten up’ and not smart like the Germans.  One comes over and picks Paula up, rocks her in his arms and weeps. ‘You mean somebody cares about me?’ Paula thinks.

5 pm
Red Army Lieutenant Ivan Martynushkin is making his way through the camp. He is struck by how calm it is and by the gratitude in the eyes of the prisoners.  Several of the emaciated prisoners have made some simple red flags to show their thanks to their liberators.  Although he feels compassion, Ivan is not overwhelmed by what he sees. In the past year, he has witnessed many horrors in camps, villages and towns. Auschwitz is just the latest atrocity.  Smoke is coming from 29 warehouses full of prisoners’ personal effects that the SS set alight before they fled.  The inmates have nicknamed the warehouses ‘Canada’ a place they think of as a land of plenty.  Inside, the soldiers find piles of children’s clothing, more than 300,000 women’s coats and dresses, 44,000 pairs of shoes, and seven tons of human hair ready to be made into work clothes and to line the boots of U-Boat crews.  Over the past few years, the Reichsbank has been sent the prisoners’ confiscated money, household goods went to German settlers in Poland, and Luftwaffe pilots received wristwatches.

6 pm
Captain Alexander Vorontsov, a film cameraman accompanying the Soviet troops, makes his way through the camp, appalled at what he sees.  He enters the barracks, some without roofs, and tries to talk to the prisoners. They look like ‘skeletons clad in skin, their eyes staring blankly’.

The barracks are dark and he has no lights, so Alexander doesn’t film, but instead writes down what they tell him.  Alexander films survivors, the dead and dying in the next few days. He also photographs Eva and Miriam Kor and Paula Lebovics standing at the wire fence.  Visiting Auschwitz years later, Eva said: ‘We couldn’t believe we really were free, so we kept walking out the gate and back in again. To do that without being shot was such a feeling of freedom.’

11 pm
In the dark of the infirmary, Primo Levi cannot sleep.  Although he knows he has survived the terrors of Auschwitz, he is overcome with a feeling of pain: ‘The pain of exile, of my distant home, of loneliness, of friends lost, of youth lost and of the host of corpses all around.’

Aftermath

As the Soviet troops explored the camp, they discovered 648 corpses, 600 prisoners in the slave labour camp and about 7,000 in the main camp.   It is impossible to know exactly how many died, but historian Laurence Rees writes: ‘The current estimate is that of the 1.3 million people sent to Auschwitz, 1.1 million died. A staggering one million were Jews.’

The Soviets and Red Cross set up field hospitals to care for the sick and dying. Their staff were assisted by many former inmates who were doctors and nurses.  Many patients died as a result of their imprisonment, and some may have died from eating too much food too soon.  News of Auschwitz was slow to reach the outside world. Despite repeated requests by the Foreign Office for information about the camp, it was only in April 1945 that the British were sent a brief telegram by the Russians stating that ‘more than four million citizens of various European countries were destroyed by the Germans’.

The British thought this figure had to be a mistake it could not be the number of deaths from a single camp.  Primo Levi, who in 1947 published one of the greatest Holocaust memoirs, If This Is A Man, never recovered from the trauma of his experiences in the camp.  In 1987, aged 67, he fell from the third-floor landing of his apartment building in Turin, Italy, and died. A coroner later ruled the cause of death as suicide.  The Nobel laureate and Holocaust survivor Elie Wiesel said of him: ‘Primo Levi died at Auschwitz 40 years later.’

Hitler’s Last Day: Minute By Minute by Jonathan Mayo and Emma Craigie is published by Short Books, £8.99.

311
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7853559/Mother-saves-daughter-one-sepsis-death-storming-GP-surgery.html

Mother saves one-year-old daughter from sepsis death by storming into GP surgery and demanding she is seen after waiting 'EIGHT HOURS' for call back

    Rachael Pedrick became concerned about daughter Holly at their home in Wales
    She was suffering symptoms including vomiting, diarrhoea and 'sticky eyes'
    Holly was eventually diagnosed with sepsis and skin infection cellulitis

By Raven Saunt For Mailonline

Published: 12:05, 5 January 2020 | Updated: 16:39, 5 January 2020

A one-year-old girl nearly died of sepsis after her mother was left waiting eight hours to speak to a doctor before storming into a GP surgery demanding to be seen.  Rachael Pedrick became concerned about her daughter Holly at their home near Merthyr Tydfil, Wales, on December 23.  Holly had started to suffer with flu-like symptoms, including vomiting and diarrhoea, as well as 'sticky eyes'.  Ms Pedrick contacted her GP surgery to ask for advice who said that it could not book her an appointment and she would have to wait for a call back.  She said that she was eventually forced to storm into the surgery and demand to see a doctor after being left to wait for 'eight hours'.  Holly spent the night in Prince Charles Hospital in Merthyr Tydfil before she was rushed in an ambulance to the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff on Christmas Eve.  It was there that the one-year-old was diagnosed with sepsis and skin infection cellulitis.  Doctors were then forced to cut through her nose to drain an abscess from behind her eye in a two-hour operation.  Ms Pedrick said that Holly was 'lifeless' for four days but that she is now back at home and making a full recovery.  She said that the hospital has since been in contact with the family.   Rachael added: 'The hospital staff phoned me and said If I hadn't taken her to the doctor's then she would be dead. I was frantic.  I knew it was serious but not how serious until I had the phone call.  If I didn't take her in she wouldn't be running around now,' according to Wales Online.

The mother-of-two has said that she has shared her story to help raise awareness.  A spokeswoman for the surgery said that they cannot comment on individual cases but was keen to reassure patients that the practice of offering appointments is taken very seriously. 

WHAT IS SEPSIS?

Sepsis occurs when the body reacts to an infection by attacking its own organs and tissues.  Some 44,000 people die from sepsis every year in the UK. Worldwide, someone dies from the condition every 3.5 seconds.  Sepsis has similar symptoms to flu, gastroenteritis and a chest infection.  These include:

    Slurred speech or confusion
    Extreme shivering or muscle pain
    Passing no urine in a day
    Severe breathlessness
    It feels like you are dying
    Skin mottled or discoloured

Symptoms in children are:

    Fast breathing
    Fits or convulsions
    Mottled, bluish or pale skin
    Rashes that do not fade when pressed
    Lethargy
    Feeling abnormally cold

Under fives may be vomiting repeatedly, not feeding or not urinating for 12 hours.  Anyone can develop sepsis but it is most common in people who have recently had surgery, have a urinary catheter or have stayed in hospital for a long time.  Other at-risk people include those with weak immune systems, chemotherapy patients, pregnant women, the elderly and the very young.  Treatment varies depending on the site of the infection but involves antibiotics, IV fluids and oxygen, if necessary.

Source: UK Sepsis Trust and NHS Choices

312
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7836835/British-mother-24-died-suddenly-holiday-Tenerife.html

British mother, 24, died suddenly while on holiday in Tenerife with her one-year-old daughter six weeks after 'she was attacked in her home town'

  Megan Brannan, 24, from Motherwell, Scotland, had been on holiday in Tenerife
  She was found dead in her bed by her father days after complaining of feeling ill
  Six weeks earlier she sustained injuries from an attack in Motherwell, Scotland
  Police Scotland are treating the death as unexplained and enquiries are ongoing

By Bhvishya Patel For Mailonline

Published: 11:12, 30 December 2019 | Updated: 17:08, 30 December 2019

A police probe is underway after a mother died suddenly while on holiday in Tenerife following an assault in her home town six weeks prior. Megan Brannan, 24, had been enjoying a sun-soaked break with her one-year-old daughter Kaedy in the Spanish resort of Costa Adeje when she unexpectedly died on October 14 just weeks before her daughter’s first birthday. However, investigations are now being carried out by Police Scotland to examine if an injury sustained by the mother-of-one during an attack in her home town of Motherwell, Scotland, on September 5, may have contributed to her death. The former Our Lady's High pupil, had been enjoying a holiday with her daughter Kaedy, sister Toni, father Thomas, 61, and mother Margaret, 57, when she was found dead in her bed - two days after complaining of feeling ill. The hairdresser, who used to work in The Highlander Bar, a popular Scottish-themed venue in Tenerife, was found lying in her bed by her father Thomas. However, it is now claimed Ms Brannan, who has been described by her sister Toni as a 'role model' and 'very special angel', had been assaulted in Motherwell prior to her holiday in Spain. A source told The Sun: 'Megan was assaulted a few weeks before she went on holiday. It is possible her death’s linked to an injury she suffered during the assault. It’s vital police get to the bottom of what happened. Her family believed it was a tragic death or the result of an illness, so this has come as a complete shock to them. They need answers.'

Following her death, Ms Brannan's sister took to Facebook to pen an emotional message which read: 'Very unexpected heartbreak for our family on our holiday as heaven gained a very special angel yesterday morning. My sister, my role model, my best friend, the light of my life.  You taught me everything I know, you were a mother figure to me you did everything you possibly could in your life to make sure I was okay and protected me at all costs.  We had a bond like no other and no one could ever understand how close we were and I promise I will do exactly that to your precious baby Kaedy.  When I was at my lowest point in life and couldn't see any light at the end of the tunnel you helped me through and gifted me with your little princess K and I want to thank you so much for that you have left us all gifted with this beautiful baby and we will always remember you through her.  We will make sure she remembers how special you were and how much you loved her.  You were the most caring mother, sister, daughter and best friends to many you were loved by everyone and this is why it's the most heartbreaking surreal tragedy.'

In her message, Ms Brannan's sister said she could not process the death and felt it was a 'bad dream'  'Can't process any of it at all and keep pretending to myself it's a bad dream I'm going to wake up from don't know how I'm ever going to recover from this but I will try my hardest to stay strong for you Megan, there is no place you would rather have passed than your favourite country Tenerife.  Hope your up there busting down thotiana (sic). I will forever love you sissy.'

A Police Scotland spokesman told MailOnline: 'Police Scotland is investigating the death of a 24-year-old woman from Motherwell who passed away in Spain on 14 October, 2019.  The death is being treated as unexplained and enquiries are ongoing.'

Following Ms Brannan's death, a GoFundMe page, set up to help the hairdresser's family, raised £1,800.  Chinese lanterns were also let off by family and friends on the Spanish island of Tenerife in honour of the mother-of-one.

313
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7832357/Robbie-Williams-pays-tribute-friends-model-daughter-took-life.html

Robbie Williams pays tribute to his friend's 'beautiful' model daughter, 20, after she took her own life on weekend away with friends

    Caitlin O'Reilly, 20, from Staffordshire, died on weekend away with friends
    She was the daughter of Pete O'Reilly, a close friend of Robbie Williams
    The pop star has paid tribute saying she had 'her whole life ahead of her'

By William Cole For Mailonline

Published: 12:52, 28 December 2019 | Updated: 13:42, 28 December 2019

Robbie Williams has led the tributes to one of his best friend's young daughters after she took her own life at the age of just 20.  Caitlin O'Reilly, from Newcastle-under-Lyme, Staffordshire, the daughter of one of Robbie's close friends Pete O'Reilly, died earlier this year.  In a message to his 2.57 million Twitter followers, Robbie wrote: 'Caitlin Nicole O'Reilly was a beautiful 20-year-old girl with her whole life ahead of her. Yet she tragically took her own life.  My friend Pete wants to try to help use this tragic event to raise awareness of the amount of young people suffering with mental health issues.  I am honoured to support him in memory of Caitlin.'

Caitlin, a model, took her own life during a weekend away with friends in Manchester.  Her dad Pete said: 'Caitlin was a very happy child, who grew up in an extremely loving family. She suffered on and off over recent years with her mental health.  Caitlin is no longer with us but I want us all to remember her, and so many other beautiful souls across the world.  There are so many who have sadly made a choice to end their lives, when action could have prevented it from happening.  Together, we must do all we can to help those suffering and try to limit the devastation caused by suicide.  Dealing with the aftermath of a loved-one who has made the choice to end their life is incredibly difficult.  Suicide has a devastating impact on those who are left behind and are having to pick up the pieces. Sometimes there is no warning or explanation.  My message to anybody feeling low, or who is suffering with their own mental health in any way, is to firstly recognise it.  That is the most courageous step; identifying you need help. Be brave. Talking is essential.  I urge you to tell your friends and loved-ones how you are feeling and seek as much help as you can.  There are so many organisations available to help you right now. Do not suffer in silence.  Social media has a massive impact on young people. Bullying through social media is prevalent and must be stopped.  We are all responsible for monitoring those young people in our lives. There needs to be greater accountability in respect of those companies which have developed these social media platforms.  Education is also key. Schools should use whatever forums are available to them to help the young people in their care.  Children and young people need to know the dangers of social media and how to address issues they may have without resorting to harming themselves.  It is staggering the amount of children and young people who feel so low they are contemplating taking their own lives.  We all owe them our time, effort and experience to stop them making the same mistake as Caitlin.  Caitlin was always there for others. She spent a huge amount of time trying to help those experiencing low periods or those expressing vulnerabilities.  Caitlin's legacy will live on if we continue the fight on her behalf to help as many of those who are suffering as we can.  This is an extremely emotional time of year. We should all consider our own actions and help those less fortunate than us.  Even if it is simply picking up the phone to check someone is doing OK.'

Pete continued: 'Let's never give up for Caitlin's memory and so many other beautiful souls around the world.  'Please tell your close friends and family how you feel. Do not bottle your feelings up. Nothing is ever as bad as you think. With help, you can work through it.  Please do not make the fateful mistake that Caitlin did. Remember your future is so full of hope, even if you do not think it at the time.'

314
Terminal Illness / Euthanasia and assisted suicide
« on: December 24, 2019, 06:20:24 PM »
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/euthanasia-and-assisted-suicide/

Euthanasia and assisted suicide

Euthanasia is the act of deliberately ending a person's life to relieve suffering.  For example, it could be considered euthanasia if a doctor deliberately gave a patient with a terminal illness drugs they do not otherwise need for their comfort, such as an overdose of sedatives or muscle relaxants, with the sole aim of ending their life.  Assisted suicide is the act of deliberately assisting or encouraging another person to kill themselves. If a relative of a person with a terminal illness obtained strong sedatives, knowing that the person intended to use the sedatives to kill themselves, they may be considered to be assisting suicide.

The law

Both euthanasia and assisted suicide are illegal under English law.

Assisted suicide

Assisted suicide is illegal under the terms of the Suicide Act (1961) and is punishable by up to 14 years' imprisonment. Trying to kill yourself is not a criminal act.

Euthanasia

Depending on the circumstances, euthanasia is regarded as either manslaughter or murder. The maximum penalty is life imprisonment.

Types of euthanasia

Euthanasia can be classified as:

    voluntary euthanasia, where a person makes a conscious decision to die and asks for help to do so
    non-voluntary euthanasia, where a person is unable to give their consent to treatment (for example, because they're in a coma) and another person takes the decision on their behalf, often because the ill person previously expressed a wish for their life to be ended in such circumstances

Active and passive euthanasia

You may have heard the terms "active euthanasia" and "passive euthanasia".  "Active euthanasia" is sometimes used to refer to deliberately intervening to end someone's life for example, by injecting them with a large dose of sedatives.  "Passive euthanasia" is sometimes used to refer to causing someone's death by withholding or withdrawing treatment that is necessary to maintain life.  It's important not to confuse "passive euthanasia" with withdrawing life-sustaining treatment in the person's best interests. Withdrawing life-sustaining treatment because it's in the person's best interests can be part of good palliative care and is not euthanasia.

End of life care

If you are approaching the end of your life, you have a right to good palliative care to control pain and other symptoms as well as psychological, social and spiritual support.  You can find out more about:

    where you can receive your care, including in a hospice
    coping with a terminal diagnosis
    ways to start talking about the fact you are dying
    managing pain and other symptoms
    coping financially and benefits entitlement
    making a legally binding advance decision to refuse treatment
    creating a lasting power of attorney so someone you trust can make decisions for you if you can't make them in the future
    why it can help to plan ahead for your future care

Find palliative care services near you.

315
Resources / Coping with Grief and Loss
« on: December 23, 2019, 02:27:54 PM »
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/coping-with-grief-and-loss.htm

Coping with Grief and Loss
There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there are healthy ways to deal with the grieving process. These tips can help.

What is grief?

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be.  Coping with the loss of someone or something you love is one of life’s biggest challenges. You may associate grieving with the death of a loved one which is often the cause of the most intense type of grief but any loss can cause grief, including:

    Divorce or relationship breakup
    Loss of health
    Losing a job
    Loss of financial stability
    A miscarriage
    Retirement
    Death of a pet
    Loss of a cherished dream
    A loved one’s serious illness
    Loss of a friendship
    Loss of safety after a trauma
    Selling the family home

Even subtle losses in life can trigger a sense of grief. For example, you might grieve after moving away from home, graduating from college, or changing jobs. Whatever your loss, it’s personal to you, so don’t feel ashamed about how you feel, or believe that it’s somehow only appropriate to grieve for certain things. If the person, animal, relationship, or situation was significant to you, it’s normal to grieve the loss you’re experiencing. Whatever the cause of your grief, though, there are healthy ways to cope with the pain that, in time, can ease your sadness and help you come to terms with your loss, find new meaning, and eventually move on with your life.

The grieving process

Grieving is a highly individual experience; there’s no right or wrong way to grieve. How you grieve depends on many factors, including your personality and coping style, your life experience, your faith, and how significant the loss was to you.  Inevitably, the grieving process takes time. Healing happens gradually; it can’t be forced or hurried and there is no “normal” timetable for grieving. Some people start to feel better in weeks or months. For others, the grieving process is measured in years. Whatever your grief experience, it’s important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.

Myths and facts about grief and grieving

Myth: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.

Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing, it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

Myth: It’s important to “be strong” in the face of loss.

Fact: Feeling sad, frightened, or lonely is a normal reaction to loss. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. You don’t need to “protect” your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Showing your true feelings can help them and you.

Myth: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.

Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

Myth: Grieving should last about a year.

Fact: There is no specific time frame for grieving. How long it takes differs from person to person.

Myth: Moving on with your life means forgetting about your loss.

Fact: Moving on means you’ve accepted your loss but that’s not the same as forgetting. You can move on with your life and keep the memory of someone or something you lost as an important part of you. In fact, as we move through life, these memories can become more and more integral to defining the people we are.

How to deal with the grieving process

While grieving a loss is an inevitable part of life, there are ways to help cope with the pain, come to terms with your grief, and eventually, find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life.

    Acknowledge your pain.
    Accept that grief can trigger many different and unexpected emotions.
    Understand that your grieving process will be unique to you.
    Seek out face-to-face support from people who care about you.
    Support yourself emotionally by taking care of yourself physically.
    Recognize the difference between grief and depression.

The stages of grief

In 1969, psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced what became known as the “five stages of grief.” These stages of grief were based on her studies of the feelings of patients facing terminal illness, but many people have generalized them to other types of negative life changes and losses, such as the death of a loved one or a break-up.

The five stages of grief

Denial: “This can’t be happening to me.”

Anger: “Why is this happening? Who is to blame?”

Bargaining: “Make this not happen, and in return I will ____.”

Depression: “I’m too sad to do anything.”

Acceptance: “I’m at peace with what happened.”

If you are experiencing any of these emotions following a loss, it may help to know that your reaction is natural and that you’ll heal in time. However, not everyone who grieves goes through all of these stages and that’s okay. Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to go through each stage in order to heal. In fact, some people resolve their grief without going through any of these stages. And if you do go through these stages of grief, you probably won’t experience them in a neat, sequential order, so don’t worry about what you “should” be feeling or which stage you’re supposed to be in.  Kübler-Ross herself never intended for these stages to be a rigid framework that applies to everyone who mourns. In her last book before her death in 2004, she said of the five stages of grief: “They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.”

Grief can be a roller coaster

Instead of a series of stages, we might also think of the grieving process as a roller coaster, full of ups and downs, highs and lows. Like many roller coasters, the ride tends to be rougher in the beginning, the lows may be deeper and longer. The difficult periods should become less intense and shorter as time goes by, but it takes time to work through a loss. Even years after a loss, especially at special events such as a family wedding or the birth of a child, we may still experience a strong sense of grief.

Source: Hospice Foundation of America

Symptoms of grief

While loss affects people in different ways, many of us experience the following symptoms when we’re grieving. Just remember that almost anything that you experience in the early stages of grief is normal including feeling like you’re going crazy, feeling like you’re in a bad dream, or questioning your religious or spiritual beliefs.

Emotional symptoms of grief

Shock and disbelief. Right after a loss, it can be hard to accept what happened. You may feel numb, have trouble believing that the loss really happened, or even deny the truth. If someone you love has died, you may keep expecting them to show up, even though you know they’re gone.

Sadness. Profound sadness is probably the most universally experienced symptom of grief. You may have feelings of emptiness, despair, yearning, or deep loneliness. You may also cry a lot or feel emotionally unstable.

Guilt. You may regret or feel guilty about things you did or didn’t say or do. You may also feel guilty about certain feelings (e.g. feeling relieved when the person died after a long, difficult illness). After a death, you may even feel guilty for not doing something to prevent the death, even if there was nothing more you could have done.

Anger. Even if the loss was nobody’s fault, you may feel angry and resentful. If you lost a loved one, you may be angry with yourself, God, the doctors, or even the person who died for abandoning you. You may feel the need to blame someone for the injustice that was done to you.

Fear. A significant loss can trigger a host of worries and fears. You may feel anxious, helpless, or insecure. You may even have panic attacks. The death of a loved one can trigger fears about your own mortality, of facing life without that person, or the responsibilities you now face alone.

Physical symptoms of grief

We often think of grief as a strictly emotional process, but grief often involves physical problems, including:

    Fatigue
    Nausea
    Lowered immunity
    Weight loss or weight gain
    Aches and pains
    Insomnia

Seek support for grief and loss

The pain of grief can often cause you to want to withdraw from others and retreat into your shell. But having the face-to-face support of other people is vital to healing from loss. Even if you’re not comfortable talking about your feelings under normal circumstances, it’s important to express them when you’re grieving. While sharing your loss can make the burden of grief easier to carry, that doesn’t mean that every time you interact with friends and family, you need to talk about your loss. Comfort can also come from just being around others who care about you. The key is not to isolate yourself.  Turn to friends and family members. Now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient. Rather than avoiding them, draw friends and loved ones close, spend time together face to face, and accept the assistance that’s offered. Often, people want to help but don’t know how, so tell them what you need whether it’s a shoulder to cry on, help with funeral arrangements, or just someone to hang out with. If you don’t feel you have anyone you can regularly connect with in person, it’s never too late to build new friendships.  Accept that many people feel awkward when trying to comfort someone who’s grieving. Grief can be a confusing, sometimes frightening emotion for many people, especially if they haven’t experienced a similar loss themselves. They may feel unsure about how to comfort you and end up saying or doing the wrong things. But don’t use that as an excuse to retreat into your shell and avoid social contact. If a friend or loved one reaches out to you, it’s because they care.  Draw comfort from your faith. If you follow a religious tradition, embrace the comfort its mourning rituals can provide. Spiritual activities that are meaningful to you such as praying, meditating, or going to church can offer solace. If you’re questioning your faith in the wake of the loss, talk to a clergy member or others in your religious community.  Join a support group. Grief can feel very lonely, even when you have loved ones around. Sharing your sorrow with others who have experienced similar losses can help. To find a bereavement support group in your area, contact local hospitals, hospices, funeral homes, and counseling centers, or see the Resources section below.  Talk to a therapist or grief counselor. If your grief feels like too much to bear, find a mental health professional with experience in grief counseling. An experienced therapist can help you work through intense emotions and overcome obstacles to your grieving.

Using social media for grief support

Memorial pages on Facebook and other social media sites have become popular ways to inform a wide audience of a loved one’s passing and to reach out for support. As well as allowing you to impart practical information, such as funeral plans, these pages allow friends and loved ones to post their own tributes or condolences. Reading such messages can often provide comfort for those grieving the loss.  Of course, posting sensitive content on social media has its risks. Memorial pages are often open to anyone with a Facebook account. This may encourage people who hardly knew the deceased to post well-meaning but inappropriate comments or advice. Worse, memorial pages can also attract Internet trolls. There have been many well-publicized cases of strangers posting cruel or abusive messages on memorial pages.  To gain some protection, you can opt to create a closed group on Facebook rather than a public page, which means people have to be approved by a group member before they can access the memorial. It’s also important to remember that while social media can be a useful tool for reaching out to others, it can’t replace the face-to-face support you need at this time.

Take care of yourself as you grieve

When you’re grieving, it’s more important than ever to take care of yourself. The stress of a major loss can quickly deplete your energy and emotional reserves. Looking after your physical and emotional needs will help you get through this difficult time.  Face your feelings. You can try to suppress your grief, but you can’t avoid it forever. In order to heal, you have to acknowledge the pain. Trying to avoid feelings of sadness and loss only prolongs the grieving process. Unresolved grief can also lead to complications such as depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and health problems.  Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Write about your loss in a journal. If you’ve lost a loved one, write a letter saying the things you never got to say; make a scrapbook or photo album celebrating the person’s life; or get involved in a cause or organization that was important to your loved one.  Try to maintain your hobbies and interests. There’s comfort in routine and getting back to the activities that bring you joy and connect you closer to others can help you come to terms with your loss and aid the grieving process.  Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” Let yourself feel whatever you feel without embarrassment or judgment. It’s okay to be angry, to yell at the heavens, to cry or not to cry. It’s also okay to laugh, to find moments of joy, and to let go when you’re ready.  Plan ahead for grief “triggers.” Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones can reawaken memories and feelings. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. If you’re sharing a holiday or lifecycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.  Look after your physical health. The mind and body are connected. When you feel healthy physically, you’ll be better able to cope emotionally. Combat stress and fatigue by getting enough sleep, eating right, and exercising. Don’t use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially.

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When grief doesn’t go away

As time passes following a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one, it’s normal for feelings of sadness, numbness, or anger to gradually ease. These and other difficult emotions become less intense as you begin to accept the loss and start to move forward with your life. However, if you aren’t feeling better over time, or your grief is getting worse, it may be a sign that your grief has developed into a more serious problem, such as complicated grief or major depression.

Complicated grief

The sadness of losing someone you love never goes away completely, but it shouldn’t remain center stage. If the pain of the loss is so constant and severe that it keeps you from resuming your life, you may be suffering from a condition known as complicated grief. Complicated grief is like being stuck in an intense state of mourning. You may have trouble accepting the death long after it has occurred or be so preoccupied with the person who died that it disrupts your daily routine and undermines your other relationships.  Symptoms of complicated grief include:

    Intense longing and yearning for your deceased loved one
    Intrusive thoughts or images of your loved one
    Denial of the death or sense of disbelief
    Imagining that your loved one is alive
    Searching for your deceased loved one in familiar places
    Avoiding things that remind you of your loved one
    Extreme anger or bitterness over your loss
    Feeling that life is empty or meaningless

If your loved one’s death was sudden, violent, or otherwise extremely stressful or disturbing, complicated grief can manifest as psychological trauma or PTSD. If your loss has left you feeling helpless and struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that won’t go away, you may have been traumatized. But with the right guidance, you can make healing changes and move on with your life.

The difference between grief and depression

Distinguishing between grief and clinical depression isn’t always easy as they share many symptoms, but there are ways to tell the difference. Remember, grief can be a roller coaster. It involves a wide variety of emotions and a mix of good and bad days. Even when you’re in the middle of the grieving process, you will still have moments of pleasure or happiness. With depression, on the other hand, the feelings of emptiness and despair are constant.  Other symptoms that suggest depression, not just grief, include:

    Intense, pervasive sense of guilt
    Thoughts of suicide or a preoccupation with dying
    Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
    Slow speech and body movements
    Inability to function at home, work, and/or school
    Seeing or hearing things that aren’t there

Can antidepressants help grief?

As a general rule, normal grief does not warrant the use of antidepressants. While medication may relieve some of the symptoms of grief, it cannot treat the cause, which is the loss itself. Furthermore, by numbing the pain that must be worked through eventually, antidepressants delay the mourning process. Instead, there are other steps you can take to deal with depression and regain your sense of joy in life.

When to seek professional help for grief

If you’re experiencing symptoms of complicated grief or clinical depression, talk to a mental health professional right away. Left untreated, complicated grief and depression can lead to significant emotional damage, life-threatening health problems, and even suicide. But treatment can help you get better.

Contact a grief counselor or professional therapist if you:

    Feel like life isn’t worth living
    Wish you had died with your loved one
    Blame yourself for the loss or for failing to prevent it
    Feel numb and disconnected from others for more than a few weeks
    Are having difficulty trusting others since your loss
    Are unable to perform your normal daily activities

Get more help

Authors: Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. Last updated: November 2019.

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